Can I Quote You On That?

Woohoo!! National Punctuation Day is coming!  

 You know what to do!

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I stand corrected.

Bakers, contrary to popular belief, those curved thingies are not sideways "happy hugs" for your text; they're parentheses. But I'll make this easy for you: YOU WILL NEVER NEED PARENTHESES ON YOUR CAKES. So don't use them. Ever.

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No, not even for a name in all caps.

 

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And not for anniversaries, either.

 

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Gosh. I bet "Mom" is really feeling like part of the family right now.

 

 Which brings me to my next point:

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STOP IT WITH THE QUOTATION MARKS ALREADY.

 

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Why are these numbers in quotes? Are they euphemisms or something? Are these people not really 13 and 59? And why does this keep happening, anyway?

 

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Oh.

 

Thanks to Monica, Debb D., Tamara M.,  Alyssa V., Amy C., Rachel C., and Aurora C. for helping me cover parentheses and quotation marks. Tomorrow: COLONS! (You'll have to check back to see which kind.)

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P.S. And here's the official t-shirt of National Punctuation Day:

Punctuation Saves Lives

Proof that educating can also be entertaining!

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

Birch, Please.

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Me: AAAUUGH! BWAHAHAAA!

John: What? [seeing cake] What IS that?

Me: [laughing]

John: Is it a cow? Buried face down?

Me: [still laughing]

John: Wait, no, I think it's a tree. A birch tree.

Me: [shrill cackling punctuated by honking, bugle-like snorts]

John: Is there a two-liter in that thing? Seriously, look; I think there's a soda bottle in there! Jen?

Me: [wiping eyes] Oh, so you're saying it's all bark and no bite?

John: Ug, that's terrible. We need some good puns.

Me: Hey, if you don't like my puns, you can make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.

John: That's it. No more Back to the Future marathons for you.

Me: Awww. You are my density, baby.

 

Thanks to Amanda C. for proving there's nothing shady at all about a tree stump with two limbs.

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P.S. I can't help it, unintentionally creepy things make me laugh. Which means I find this hee-larious:

Tree Face Bird Feeder

It has great reviews and everyone keeps calling it "cute," but it definitely rides the "may come to life later and murder you" vibe. Which of course makes me love it even more. :p

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And from my other blog, Epbot: