The Turkey Aftermath

Ahhh, turkey cake wrecks. The bane-yet-blessing of my bloggy existence.

::pause::

Wanna see some more?

If there were a Vegas review starring hot dogs and/or Twinkies...uh...dangit, now I kind of wish that actually existed. Somebody get on that, will you?

The irony, it runs deep.

(For extra lolz, just imagine the little feet wiggling.)

I'm sure you've seen ads for those turkey ice cream cakes. You know, these ones?

Well, expectation, meet reality:

(Once you start seeing this as a greased pig stuck in a rabbit hole, it's pretty much all you CAN see.)

And finally, I've seen my share of disturbing turkey cakes, believe me. (BELIEVE ME.) And yet, I think this really could be the MOST disturbing turkey cake I have ever seen.

[blinking]

Turkey cake is people!  

TURKEY CAKE IS PEOPLE!!

Thanks to wreckporters Beth J., Nicki B., Rebecca W., & Courtney for "working" on a holiday. Extra leftovers for you, guys!

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Here's a new game - at least to me - that's getting rave reviews for family game time:

Beat That! The Bonkers Battle Of Wacky Challenges

Beat That comes with a huge assortment of physical game challenges, from bouncing balls into cups to picking up dice with a pair of chopsticks, and you bet with tokens on which challenges you think you can beat inside the time limit. Looks like fast-paced, silly fun. I'm thinking of bringing it to Thanksgiving this year, to break up the post-turkey sleepy time, heh.

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And from my other blog, Epbot:

12 Thanksgiving Cakes To Make You EXTRA Thankful

John and I actually had our Thanksgiving dinner with family on Monday, and we had ham instead of turkey, but it was still totally Thanksgiving dinner because we used cloth napkins and the phrases "What's that supposed to mean?" and "No, YOU'RE wrong!" were used. YAY HOLIDAYS.

If that doesn't already make you feel more thankful, then here are twelve wrecks to remind you just how blessed you are to have a phone with Internet access so you can look at goofy cake pictures while your family argues politics. (Yeah, I know you're out there. Welcome!)

"Bad news, sir: the tiny phalluses have us surrounded. 

"Also, you're on fire."

It's the original Thanksgiving streaker!

(But what in the name of Stovetop is that "stuffing" made of?)

This bird is here to PUMP... *clap!* ...YOU UP!

"HURRRG! Watch me flex, ya!"

And this:

...is an EX-turkey.

(I can't help it; those stiff little legs crack me up every. single. time. And then I start pining for the fjords...)

Aw, don't cry, little fella! I'm sure all turkey cakes have visible bowels.

Or at least the ones around here, anyway.

This cake doesn't need commentary; it needs a sound effect.

Something like, "BLTTHHHHPPPPPPPPPP. THPP."

As a proud geek girl, I usually use the word "shiny" as a compliment.

Not this time. 

Also, that "cake" is butted up against real raw potatoes. You know how I know they're real potatoes? Because they're the only thing on that platter that looks like the thing they're supposed to be.

A lot of people have complained about Christmas decorations creeping in alongside all the Thanksgiving ones this year, but I didn't think it was so bad 'til I saw this:

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, GINGERBREAD MAN.

Now for a quick etiquette lesson:

This is why you should always chew with your mouth closed.

And also why you should never confuse your TP with TNT. (Ouch.)

Which reminds me: anyone else think this turkey is mooning us?

Or is that too much of a stretch?

(HEYO!)

So in conclusion, allow me and the Ghost of Turkeys Past here to wish you a very Happy...

..."Itanksgiving."

Or, as most of us know it:

"Gooble Gooble Day." 

Thanks to Kimberly H.,  Craig, Katrina O., Sam K., David G., Michael H., Sara G., Ardin A., Susan F., Deborah B., Travis S., & Carolyn H. for the Thanksgiving thankfulness.

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P.S. Remember, it's never too early for Christmas decorations... in your beard:

BEARDAMENTS Beard Lights & Baubles

Even if you don't have a beard - or know someone with a beard you could convince to wear these - I highly recommend checking out the customer photo gallery, haha. "RH" in the red shirt has an especially majestic display. :D

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And from my other blog, Epbot: