John and I actually had our Thanksgiving dinner with family on Monday, and we had ham instead of turkey, but it was still totally Thanksgiving dinner because we used cloth napkins and the phrases "What's that supposed to mean?" and "No, YOU'RE wrong!" were used. YAY HOLIDAYS.
If that doesn't already make you feel more thankful, then here are twelve wrecks to remind you just how blessed you are to have a phone with Internet access so you can look at goofy cake pictures while your family argues politics. (Yeah, I know you're out there. Welcome!)
"Bad news, sir: the tiny phalluses have us surrounded.
"Also, you're on fire."
It's the original Thanksgiving streaker!
(But what in the name of Stovetop is that "stuffing" made of?)
This bird is here to PUMP... *clap!* ...YOU UP!
"HURRRG! Watch me flex, ya!"
...is an EX-turkey.
(I can't help it; those stiff little legs crack me up every. single. time. And then I start pining for the fjords...)
Aw, don't cry, little fella! I'm sure all turkey cakes have visible bowels.
Or at least the ones around here, anyway.
This cake doesn't need commentary; it needs a sound effect.
Something like, "BLTTHHHHPPPPPPPPPP. THPP."
As a proud geek girl, I usually use the word "shiny" as a compliment.
Not this time.
Also, that "cake" is butted up against real raw potatoes. You know how I know they're real potatoes? Because they're the only thing on that platter that looks like the thing they're supposed to be.
A lot of people have complained about Christmas decorations creeping in alongside all the Thanksgiving ones this year, but I didn't think it was so bad 'til I saw this:
YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, GINGERBREAD MAN.
Now for a quick etiquette lesson:
This is why you should always chew with your mouth closed.
And also why you should never confuse your TP with TNT. (Ouch.)
Which reminds me: anyone else think this turkey is mooning us?
Or is that too much of a stretch?
So in conclusion, allow me and the Ghost of Turkeys Past here to wish you a very Happy...