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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov222012

12 Thanksgiving Cakes To Make You EXTRA Thankful

John and I actually had our Thanksgiving dinner with family on Monday, and we had ham instead of turkey, but it was still totally Thanksgiving dinner because we used cloth napkins and the phrases "What's that supposed to mean?" and "No, YOU'RE wrong!" were used. YAY HOLIDAYS.

If that doesn't already make you feel more thankful, then here are twelve wrecks to remind you just how blessed you are to have a phone with Internet access so you can look at goofy cake pictures while your family argues politics. (Yeah, I know you're out there. Welcome!)

 

"Bad news, sir: the tiny phalluses have us surrounded. 

"Also, you're on fire."

 

It's the original Thanksgiving streaker!

(But what in the name of Stovetop is that "stuffing" made of?)

 

 

This bird is here to PUMP... *clap!* ...YOU UP!

"HURRRG! Watch me flex, ya!"

 

And this:

...is an EX-turkey.

(I can't help it; those stiff little legs crack me up every. single. time. And then I start pining for the fjords...)

 

Aw, don't cry, little fella! I'm sure all turkey cakes have visible bowels.

Or at least the ones around here, anyway.

 

This cake doesn't need commentary; it needs a sound effect.

Something like, "BLTTHHHHPPPPPPPPPP. THPP."

 

 

As a proud geek girl, I usually use the word "shiny" as a compliment.

Not this time. 

Also, that "cake" is butted up against real raw potatoes. You know how I know they're real potatoes? Because they're the only thing on that platter that looks like the thing they're supposed to be.

 

A lot of people have complained about Christmas decorations creeping in alongside all the Thanksgiving ones this year, but I didn't think it was so bad 'til I saw this:

YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, GINGERBREAD MAN.

 

Now for a quick etiquette lesson:

This is why you should always chew with your mouth closed.

And also why you should never confuse your TP with TNT. (Ouch.)

 

Which reminds me: anyone else think this turkey is mooning us?

Or is that too much of a stretch?

(HEYO!)

 

So in conclusion, allow me and the Ghost of Turkeys Past here to wish you a very Happy...

..."Itanksgiving."

 

Or, as most of us know it:

"Gooble Gooble Day." 

 

 

Thanks to Kimberly H.,  Craig, Katrina O., Sam K., David G., Michael H., Sara G., Ardin A., Susan F., Deborah B., Travis S., & Carolyn H. for the Thanksgiving thankfullness.

« The Turkey Aftermath | Main | Cake Wrecks Finally Gives You The Bird »

Reader Comments (48)

This year I am thankful for my new hubby, and that his parents don't live with us. And I am oh, so thankful for this blog! Thank you, Jen, #1, and John (ThoJ)! You guys make my morning a little bit more fun and happy. <3

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKellyH

Sung to "Thank You" by Dido

The phalli set your head on fire
Your stuffing makes me moan
That bird looks like it's been on steroids
Stiff turkey makes me bawl
And when you walk your bowels just get in the way
The half-pumpkin says it all, it reminds me
That these cakes are bad, these cakes are ba --aa --ad

Potato beds are gross, you're so shiny
Christmas is NOT today
Wide open mouth or blast hole? I can't say
You're mooning me again, and even if I cared
I don't know why they made ghost turkey with spray
But then you gooble, and it makes me glad
It makes me gla --aa --ad

And I want to thank you for giving me
The best wrecks of my life
Cake Wrecks, almost every day, gives me
The best wrecks of my life.


I'm thankful for bad bakers everywhere, because they let me hang out in the comments with all you cool kids every day. mel, Barbara Anne, Haiku Joy, mindy1, zoomom, SuBee, Andrea, Craig, TLC, FM, Jodee in Wa, Karate Lady -- the list goes on and on -- I'm especially thankful for getting to know you better in the comments. And big thanks to Jen, John, Number 1, Lindsey and the CW minions who make this such a fun place to play. Happy Thanksgiving, All!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

The mooning turkey looks more like a fortune cookie with appendages than a turkey.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Thank you (and the wrecked "turkey" "cakes") for pulling me out of my "NBC doesn't stream the Macy's parade" funk. WTF, NBC?

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndie

I'm having a mare of a day and this post made me laugh out loud just when I was having a teary wallow. Therefore I declare this official Gooble Gooble Day in my house. Thank you!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlori

Oh my gosh, you're right, that turkey is SOO mooning us! That's all I could see as well!

Today's batch of cake was particularly disturbing/disgusting. The straight legs on that one turkey really crack me up, too, and I can't get over the shiny ones.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

And Gooble Gooble to you too!

A Blessed One to you all..

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Witch's Kitchen

I am not cooking for Gooble, Gooble Day; I am headed to Cracker Barrel for their special which, thank Goddess, will NOT include cake.
I give thanks to your for the smiles, today and every day.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Heyo!
These wrecks were truly gag-worthy!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I am still laughing about that stiff-legged turkey ten minutes later. (I'll probably be chuckling all day long, actually.) Have any of these people ever SEEN a turkey? Thanks for brightening up my day, every day!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I am thankful that someone pit those doily thingies on cake no. 2. Otherwise, I would never have know that was supposed to be something resembling turkey.

And cake no 6: what are those green things?

Entertaining us always, even under table by phone. Jen and John, you guys rock!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Isn't the "cake" below the bowel foul and above the shiny turkey really a canned ham? Sure looks like it. With a little seaweed frosting for effect.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenter{gemmifer}

Thanks Jen, for always giving me something to laugh about even on stressful days. You are definitely the funniest person on the internet!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeacher

It still cracks me up that there are so many turkey wrecks out there since pie is the official dessert of Thanksgiving.
You two should totes have a Thanksgiving do-over with friends instead. Those usually turn out more fun, and you're less likely to hear "That's an interesting choice of hair 'do's for you," or "Oh, you still own that blouse?"
I'm thankful for you two and this fun little community here and over at Epbot. Thanks for doing like you do!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnnie

Dear Jen and everyone else at Cakewrecks,

This weeks posts are the reason we are eating gingersnap cookies for dessert today. The pumpkin pie had an accident and when I went to the store I couldn't stop thinking about poo-cakes and had to buy cookies instead.

Love,
Delphine

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDelphine

Couldn't wait till the actual get-together. Had to see it now. But will probably pop back in again later. Jen, the commentary on that first cake. Good thing I had finished breakfast. Nobody here knows the Heimlich maneuver. Compared to the others, the pump you up cake was well done. Even as a dreaded CCC (patooie) it still looks edible. Oh, and the snail of thanksgiving past has chased away the turkey.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterteabunny

When I read "gooble" on Cake Wrecks, I'm reminded of the scene from the 1932 movie, "Freaks." The circus freaks chant, "Gooble, gobble, one of us." I suppose it's appropriate for turkey cake freaks to say gooble, too.

Here's a link to the scene:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4uTEEOJlM

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPhilippa

Thankful that we are serving pie this year :D

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Shiny!

Happy Thanksgiving from your friends up north. Or, as we like to call it, "Happy Travel day to catch black Friday sales" day. Either way, much rejoicing shall be had!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

What a HOOT !!!!! That gingerbread man was trying to look inconspicuous, and you pegged him. Good eyes as usual, Jen. The turkey mooning was another good peg on your part. (I'm still trying to wash that image out of my head.)

The Hanz and Franz turkey looks like the NBC peacock on steroids. When it comes to the EX-turkey, it looks like you found two of Madonna's booby covers.

Happy Thanksgiving Day, Jen and John. Gooble Gooble to one and all.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Every day I drag my tired, grumpy butt in here after work and you guys cheer me up. You can't put a value on that so all I can do is say Thank You!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

After several years of reading this blog, I STILL can't get my head round turkeys made of cake - it just seems so...wrong, somehow. However, as a Brit, I CAN get my head round the delightful Python referencing - so way to go, Cake Wrecks!. May your turkey always be stuffed and may you always be thankful for it, as we are thankful for you!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim Anderson

Thanks for the laugh! And I hope you both have a wonderful Thanksgiving, Monday or Thursday, ham or turkey, I'm thankful I get to read your blog every day!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

OK, I did lose count, but to me, #2 was the best! I probably would eat that turkey, if you had some gravy and mashed potatoes to go with them! Please? I'll be nice and only speak when I am spoken to.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterOtterPops

I have absolutely no idea what the "sound effects" one is supposed to be!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterConfused

Did the turkey pining for the fjords rest so long that someone carved a heart on its side thinking it was a log?

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Has anyone else realized that the "Itanksgiving" cake was actually a CCC? There is a pile of icing so thick you will need a knife to separate the cupcakes... Aka: why didn't you just get a CAKE?

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMommy23Melody

Does anybody else think that "Gooble Gooble Day" sounds like a sexual term? "Hey baby, why not make today a Gooble Gooble Day?"

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

I just realized something...the Gingerbread Man cake is actually a CCC!!!!!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAidan

Shiny! "I tried to make the icing as chocolaty as possible", and "this food is problematic" could be worked in as well.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterme

I now want an Aquatic Turd-Worm cake. I'm not sure for what occasion, as I am unsure exactly what occasion would call for an Aquatic Turd-Worm cake, (and neither are the voices - gee, thanks guys), but I know I want one...

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBadKarma

Gooble Gobble, Gooble Gobble, One of Us! One of Us!

Thank you for the Turkey.se cake, and for another year of awesomenessitude.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

Gooble Gooble, CW crew. Gooble Gooble.

Thanks for all the wrecks and hilarity. :D

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy H.

Thank you for the Firefly reference!

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTeresa Green

On the ex-turkey cake, it seems like the legs are placed in invisible stirrups.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

The stiff-legged Ex-turkey resembled nothing so much as my last trip to the GYN. Not fit for the dinner table.

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnon E. Mouse

That's bizarre.. I am on CW while my family talks about politics, which is something I REALLY enjoy listening to.Are you watching me??

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPinkie Pie

Huh. on the "mooning turkey" I saw one cloven hoof and a scowling face. Nah. pixilation, seeing faces. Probably from all the pecan pie slices I had and cranberry wine

November 22, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

Thank you for the Monty Python "dead parrot" shout ou!

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristin

Happy Thanksgiving all!! I am just thankful we had a nice pie for dessert instead of these lol. Plus my turkey really looked like a turkey and not a pile of poo..otherwise I would have ordered a pizza and been done with it. Heh thank you for the lovely laugh after all the eating.

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

"This bird wouldn't 'VOOM' if you put 4 million volts through it!"

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChalkhills

Good gravity, just when we were all happy and feeling hopeful and having faith in the future of humanity and whatnot... ;D

November 23, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStoich91

me and my hubby spent the season alone. (ooah ooah). mom was acting like an ass during the whole holiday! but we ordered a wonderfully made turkey and stuffed ourselves. then we put in a batman forever and broke in our new couch!(ooah ooah)
not a bad way to spend the turkey day.

November 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScandal Savvy

These are so awesome! And what's with the carved heart on the side of the "realistic" looking turkey cake?? Is that supposed to make it special? So funny!

November 24, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPinHappyGirl

I like how #4 has that 'heart' thing like the *real* turkey ice cream cake on which it is (very loosely) based. Real turkey ice cream cakes (so named because they are awesome, not because they contain real turkey) taste seventeen different kinds of excellent. And they usually manage to look somewhat real.

#5 is weeping for the victims people to whom it is served. Imagine, somewhere under all that frosting is a chocolate chip cookie.

#6 Ham with a garnish of seaweed? And the thing on top would be...I'd rather not know. Really.

#7 Real potatoes. And the 'corn' in the foreground looks to be a potato, too. Why not real corn? Why not a real turkey stuffed with cake? Hmm...main dish and dessert all in one. Could be on to something there. Of course, turkey-flavored cake might prove to be a bit of an acquired taste (in the same line as soybean tur... er, curd), but nothing ventured is the Devil's workshop, as the saying goes.

#11 Place The Airbrush On The Floor And Take Three Steps Back. Or Else I'll Have To Continue Talking In Capitalized Words. Have conventional cakes joined 32 oz drinks on the list of hazards to life as we know it? Are we to be faced with CCCs forevermore? Auggghhhh!

November 27, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think that stuffing is whatever sliced and diced pie-holes and poop-chutes they had lying around. Ick!

November 27, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

I just want to stick up for the super market cake decorators of the world. I make fondant cakes , and am very comfortable working with that medium. I recently got a job at a supermarket as a cake decorator, and I have to tell you that it's hard as hell when you just first out. I have cake experience, and I have to imagine that those who have no background in decorating must be struggling like crazy. Pick up an icing bag and give it a whirl - I bet you'll have a few cakes to post yourself. ;p That being said, I enjoy seeing these pictures, and especially love reading your comments lol

December 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

Yeah, this is a year old but I found it to be absolutely HILARIOUS. I'm a recent reader and have been working through the archives. Up to page 135. Some specific thoughts:

The first picture is what a turkey would look like if Angry Birds had turkeys in it. Throwing it at the piggies makes them go to sleep... since after all that is what happens to people when they eat turkey.

As to the ex-turkey, is it nailed to the plate? and gobbling with the choir invisible?

November 6, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterFuchsia70

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