Valentines Strategery

Valentines Day is next week, so it's a good idea to start strategizing now. I mean strategerizing. I mean stratavarigizing. I mean WHATEVER SPELLCHECK YOUR NOT THE BOSS OF ME.

[What you're not seeing - other than me yelling at my screen like a madwoman - is that spellcheck is telling me "strategizing" is spelled wrong but "your" is right. IRONIC, idn't it?)

Ahem.

I'm going to assume you haven't already proceeded with Operation Dump Week, so let's move on to plan C:  Choosing the right gift.

First of all, remember that you can never go wrong with roses.

Unless they're these roses.

Or these ones.

Or...SWEET MERCY, has Sleeping Beauty been on another rampage?!

 

Ok, maybe instead you should go with a single, long-stemmed...

....tape worm.

 

 You know what, forget the roses. Teddy bears are where it's at:

Or, sure, decaying gophers could work too, I guess. 

 

Here's a good option if your guy/gal is nicknamed "Poo Bear:"

A yellow-bellied Poo Bear? Nice one, bakers.

 

You could also just stick to the Valentine basics: you know, hearts, cupid arrows, that sort of thing.

That's it.

YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN.

  

 Sing it with me, Kathleen S., Lindsay R., Maria V., Suzanne, David G., Amanda S., & Caroline M.: 

Shot through the heart!

And you're to blame! 

You give loooove

A BAD NAME.

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P.S. Minions, this is by far the most expensive thing I've ever linked here, but dang, I think it may just be worth it:

"Love in Bloom" Porcelain Anatomical Heart Vase

HOW COOL IS THIS?

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

What's Wrong This This Picture?

Murphy wanted one of the Avengers on his birthday cake. I'll give you two guesses which one:

"By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, YOU SHALL BE AVENGED."

 

To be fair, it's not like the character's name was written right on that big piece of plastic or anyth...

OH COME ON.

 

Well, look on the bright side, Murphy: now you've got a cool new nickname, and your Iron Man cake probably would have looked like this anyway:

 

 

Thanks to Molly P. and Deborah for letting me work in a good Galaxy Quest quote. Never give up! Never surrender! Can you form some sort of rudimentary lathe?

*****

P.S. For folks who appreciate a good linguistics lol:

"Synonym Rolls" T-Shirt

"Just like grammar used to make," hehehe. More colors at the link.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: