Our Hour of Discontent

Well, folks, it's Monday. And as if that weren't bad enough, we were all robbed - ROBBED, I say - of one entire hour over the weekend. A whole hour! It should be one hour earlier than it is right now, but it's not! Who signed off on this?! What evil mastermind convinced the US government that a nation of grumpy sleep-deprived workers was a *good* thing?

Do you know what I could have done with that extra hour today? DO YOU?

Well, neither do I, but this blog being what it is, we both know it's going to have something to do with cake.

THINGS I COULD DO WITH THE HOUR SO SHAMELESSLY STOLEN

FROM ME:

- Buy enough goldfish to refill this wedding cake:

(Ok, picture this: Finding Nemo, except instead of a dentist's office the gang all live in a bakery's wedding cake display. I CALLED IT FIRST, DISNEY.)

- Write at least 6 or 8 puns on how these cookies look like the Sorting Hat made out of poop:

"HUFFLEPOOP!"

- Write a compelling argument for why a cupcake decorated with another cupcake impaled on top of the first cupcake with a straw through them both is basically the Inception of cupcakes.

If the yellow candle falls over we'll know this isn't real.

- Photoshop the perfect couple's portrait:

Unnng, you're liking that shoulder, aren't you, Robert Pattinson? Yeeeah. C'mon, let's go sit in the back row of that school bus and stare moodily at each other.

- Find out who is manufacturing cake flotsam in the form of tiny digital projectors:

...Mostly so I can find the person responsible and shake his or her hand. And maybe order a few dozen for my next Jem and the Holograms party.

- Plan a Jem and the Holograms Party.

Poor Stormer.

The best thing about this Jem cake is that it gives me an excuse to link to this one. GOOD TIMES.

And finally, if I had my stolen hour back I could ...

- Stack all of these "wedding donuts":

... before explaining to the bride that ideas like THIS are why we as a nation can't have nice things.

Thanks to Janice W., Monica C., Katie S., Faith, Danielle B., Tiffanee D., & Rachel K., who know I'd really just spend my extra hour sleeping. AS GOD INTENDED.

*****

Speaking of sleep, let me again sing the praises of my amazing sleep headphones:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I have the kind of insomnia old-timey bards would write songs about, so I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control. Lately I've been wearing them like a sleep mask - like the model here - and WOW, that's helped even more than when I wore them like a headband! These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, and they only cost $20 Prime.

Note that they do run on the big side, but that works out great if you have a big head like me. :D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sunday Sweets: Around the World in 80 Days

In 1873, Jules Verne published Around the World in 80 Days, the story of Phileas Fogg and his attempt to circumnavigate the globe to win a bet. Now, we can accomplish the same feat in just over two days, with another couple of days added in to get through airport security. (Well, I always manage to get behind that guy...) Today, let's slow down a little and retrace Phileas' trip.

The first thing most people think about when they hear Around the World in 80 Days is a hot air balloon. I found this amazing balloon cake with two guys who might be Phileas and his valet, Passepartout.

By Jacques Fine European Pastries

Isn't this gorgeous? Wouldn't it be great for a little circumnavigating? There's just one problem -- it never happened. There's no hot air balloon travel in the book.

Really, you can look it up.

They did take trains, though, like this beauty.

By Sugar N Spires

"Woo, wooooooooo... Chugga, chugga, chugga, chugga..."

They also rode a lot of steamer ships.

By Cake Central member Gingerbread_from_Germany

Don't you love the wooden decking?

Phileas even bought an elephant and hired a guide when there was a gap in the train lines in India.

By Heather Barranco's Dreamcakes

What can I say? It was a big bet -- millions in today's money.

Sadly, he didn't keep the elephant.
(I'd have found a way. Elephants who can accessorize are rare.)

So, now that we've lined up trains, ships and pachyderms, where exactly did Phileas and Passepartout go?

Well, they started in London.

By Elite Cake Designs

Pay no attention to any perceived anachronisms -- Jules Verne was a visionary who predicted electric submarines and video conferencing. An edible double-decker bus wouldn't have stretched his imagination at all.

From London, they headed to Egypt.

Submitted by Stephanie R., photo by Jennifer Klementti Photography, baker The Cake Museum

I'm going to be extra careful the next time I peel the fondant off a cake, just in case there are precious paintings underneath.

Sadly, Phileas didn't have time to stop and read the hieroglyphics. Instead, he pressed on to India.

By Michelle Sugar Art

Just. Wow.

Even though he was on a tight deadline, he still managed to rescue his future wife there. That necessitated a rather rapid departure to Hong Kong.

By Let Them Eat Cake

Do you think anyone would notice if I took one of the dragons? They look like foil-wrapped milk chocolate.

Of course, there wasn't a lot of time to see the sights in Hong Kong, because they had to make their connection to Yokohama next.

By Krumbcakes

This is much too peaceful and zen-like to run past on the way to your next stop. If I hadn't been rooting for Phileas to win, I'd have made him stop for a nice cup of tea.

Sadly, leisurely refreshments weren't in the cards, but a trip to San Francisco was.

By Cake Coquette

I really like the contrast of the razor-edged whiteness of the rest of the cake with the tumbled chaos of Lombard Street.

If Phileas had just had a pair of roller blades, he could have coasted all the way to New York, his next destination.

By The Icing on the Cake

It's just wicked that he didn't have time to catch a show, but the schedule was getting VERY tight, and Phileas still had to get back across the Atlantic.

After inciting a mutiny and burning most of the wooden parts of a ship for steam, Phileas and friends made it to Ireland,

By hello babycakes

which, you've got to admit, was pretty lucky. (Don't worry, they appeased the Captain by paying him a boatload of money.)

Still, there was one more stop before they got their pot of gold.

So, back to London they went.

By Emmacakes

Sadly, it appeared they were a day late -- but of course, it wasn't that black and white.

They'd forgotten about the International Date Line! Upon realizing the correct date, Phileas rushed to his club and won the bet! Significantly richer, he married his lady love and settled down to a quiet life.

(Maybe he even bought a hot air balloon...)

Happy Sunday!

*****

P.S. I've been waiting for an excuse to buy these, so thought I'd share in case you have one:

Hot Air Balloon Paper Lantern Set

Wouldn't these be adorable party decorations? You get all 6 for less than $15, and there are more patterns/colors to choose from at the Amazon link.

(Just a reminder that everything you purchase through my daily Amazon links - even if it's not that item! - helps support me and John, so thank you! You can also see a list of some of my favorite linked items here.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: