Wedding Missed Marks, Vol. 458

Ever seen Cornelli lace? It's this pretty icing technique Jennifer wanted on her wedding cake:

But instead, her baker got a little really drunk and had a silly string party:

Bottom Tier: "Hey, I think I'm actually better after a few drinks!"

Middle Tier: "MOAR BEER MOAR STRINGY THINGS WHEEEE"

Top Tier: [face down on the counter, blindly spraying icing all over the room]

Meanwhile...

Kimberly decided on something a little more rustic for her wedding:

...but this really goes against the grain:

And Brittany T. ordered this loveliness for her wedding cake:

You must admit, her baker did a crackin' job:

o.0

Also, if you watch those embedded BBs long enough, I'm pretty sure they'll slowly sink into the cake and disappear, ala the La Brea Tar Pits.

Who's hungry?

Thanks to Jennifer H., Kimberly W., & Brittany T. for fueling bride-to-be nightmares everywhere.

*****

P.S. In case this post wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

Good news, there's a Volume 2!

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes, Vol II

This one has the word "spiffing" in the title AND comes with a lovely green-and-gold cover, so folks will recognize your sophisticated taste while begging you to stop telling these terrible, TERRIBLE jokes.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Something Wrecky This Way Comes

(Warning: Naughty puns ahead. Hide your kids.)

Renee C. ordered this sandcastle cake for her beach-themed wedding:

So you know what's coming, right?

Heh. Aheh.

That's right: DIRTY PUNS ARE COMING.

The bride really got the shaft here, and it doesn't take a firm grip on reality to be testy over such a cock-up. Should she just suck it up and beat it? Is she nuts to take this blow so hard? Will nothing stop the erection of headstrong turrets?

No, that's a fallacy!*

Besides, I'm sure bakers will get the point in the end.
Aaand I'm done.

Thanks to Renee C. for the heads up!

Okay, okay. Now I'm done.

*'Cuz it's a phallus - see?
(OH COME ON THAT WAS GENIUS.)

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that are dirty, I have to introduce you to the handiest little kitchen gadget for under $8:

Dishwasher "Dirty/Clean" Slider Bar

The whole thing is magnetic, and it also comes with a double-sided adhesive for non-metallic machines. Also comes in black, and there's a prettier cursive option if you don't like the bright red/green!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: