5 Times It Didn't Pay To Be Polite

Some people think common courtesy is dead. To these people I say, "Hey, do you mind? I CAN'T HEAR THIS PHONE CONVERSATION OVER THE MOVIE WHILE YOU'RE SHUSHING ME."

(Yes, I'm joking.)

(I have exceptionally good hearing.)

And bakers, it seems, are especially bewildered by a simple "please" or "thank you:"

Aww, it's almost sad; the baker missed her own thanking!

I say "almost" sad because after you realize how often this happens...

It gets kinda funny.

Text reads: "Happy Birthday Melissa! Thank you much."

This "thank you" threw the baker SO badly she tried to cope with random question marks:

Happy Birthday Barbara!?
?Thanks!

You can almost picture her writing this, sobbing, "What does it mean? WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEAAN???"

And if you use BOTH "please" and "thank you" there's a real chance you could do permanent damage to your baker. So please, be responsible. Don't let this happen:

Then again, that's no excuse to be rude, either.

And trust me, it doesn't help anyway:

Thanks to Nicole P., Stephanie R., Melissa S., Nathan B., Lindsay W., & J.R. for being so easy to please.

*****

P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Tina Fey Would Have WORDS About This

You ever stumble across a reeealllly old website - I'm talking pre-2008 here - where it's got the auto-play music, ten different fonts, plus flashing geocities-style graphics of crying kittens and glitter trails behind your cursor?

Well minions, I've found some cakey equivalents, and they. are. GLORIOUS.

The only thing missing is 8-bit Mario music and a MySpace link.

This is why you never drink and web-design:

Or rather, drink and edible-image-design. Holy clip art overload, Batman!

Speaking of clip art, there are some ANCIENT edible image designs still being sold in a certain huge grocery chain, and I think you'll agree: they need to stop.

First there's this:

Which is kind of cute until you realize that kind of uniform is only used for skimpy Halloween costumes nowadays... and she looks like she's about to throw that cake in someone's face. ("I put on the outfit, I got your stupid flowers and cake, and that's where I draw the line, bub. Now put. The stethoscope. DOWN.")

Don't worry, though, just to even things out, there's a male option!

...of a doctor. Doing, you know, doctory things. Because he doesn't have time to deliver your sweets and flowers, k, pumpkin? HE'S A DOCTOR.

And while we're on the subject of some sweet, sugary sexism, check out this pair of designs:

Look, I'm not one to over-analyze something as trivial as cake...

Oh, wait.

YES I AM.

So Mr. Boss Man "works" with his feet up and a knowing leer - there's not even a computer on his desk, because he doesn't concern himself with the little picture, got it? - while the female equivalent is either a secretary-type or a telemarketer. Mmmhmm. No, yeah, that's suuuper cute and appropriate.

Riiiight. Thanks to Heather S., Kathy G., Jessa H., Seab & Steph, and Katie H. for the blergiest of cakey blergs.

*****

P.S. You seem stressed. Take two of these and don't call me in the morning:

Squishy Stress Voodoo Doll

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: