CAKETASTROPHE!! (By Special Request)

I was perusing the Cake Wrecks Facebook page the other day (where every follower gets a free invisible puppy!!) when I came across a rather unusual request:

Ahh, so you want to pop open the hood and take a gander inside the wrecks, is that it, Jennifer?

Well, I'm glad you asked.

BEHOLD!!

And BEHOLD!!

KEEP BE-HOLDING!

Hey, Jennifer, you ever wonder how cupcake cakes (ptooie!) keep their icing from falling through all those big gaps?

NOW YOU KNOW.

We just saw last week how a gender reveal cake failed to actually reveal anything - other than plain yellow cake - but here's the opposite problem:

The cake was blue inside with pink icing.

Oy.

Now I'm going to show you my absolute favorite cake cake wreck of all time, Jennifer, and which I've been hanging onto for just this moment.

First, though, let me explain what (we think) happened:

A bakery was unable to sell a Halloween cake in time, but they didn't want to throw it away or reduce the price. So instead, they simply flipped the entire cake over, icing side down, and re-decorated the other side to make it into a generic birthday design.

CW reader Shannon had no idea of the skullduggery at work until she cut the cake, and found this:

That's a whoooole lotta icing, right there.

(And think how fresh!!)

And finally, I know I posted the video of this over on FB a week or two back, but here's a quick .gif reminder of the importance of proper wedding cake support:

OUCH.

(Watch the original video here to see them both continue to laugh hysterically, which is just adorable. Cutest couple ever!)

Welp, I hope that satisfies some of your blood lust for caketastrophe, Jennifer!

And hey, for the rest of you, the request line... IS OPEN.

Thanks to Cherie O., Leann S., Jaunna, Fribby, Sarah, & Shannon G. for reminding me of those times bakeries accidentally left scissors, a paring knife, and other various cutlery in their cakes - because that was a HOOT. (And also because "TRAUMATIC BIEBER" *still* makes me snort-laugh.)

*****

P.S. Hey. You know what ALSO needs proper support? Boobs. So here's a quick shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

I own four of these, and plan to keep buying all the colors. Up 'til last year I ONLY wore wired bras - usually Warners - and it took buying-and-returning over a dozen different brands and styles before I found a wireless one I liked. This one averages $25-30 Prime, but I watch the listing and buy any color that goes on sale for less than $20. (Today "Lilac" is $18, so I snagged one of those.)

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. Be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

At Least Now We Know Why Kermit Is Consternated

Anyone remember the CW classic, "It a Gril"?

(Ahh, good times.)

'Cuz now we have version 2.0!

Like most upgrade's, it fi'xed one prob'lem while creati'ng a whole n'ew one.

Two things on this next one:

1) Apparently there's a "Hawaiian Shirt Day"
2) I've never been so disappointed to see someone spell "shirt" right

(Right? RIGHT???)

Of course we've established - many, MANY times - that bakers can't seem to stop making chocolate icing look like poop.

However, I found the one exception!

It's when you ask a baker to actually TRY to make icing look like poop:

Like an ice cream swirl on a balloon string.

The mind, it boggles.

When this mom requested a Minnie Mouse cake for her daughter's birthday, I *think* the baker tried for a simple 3-circle Mickey logo, like this:

But instead, it came out like this:

In the baker's defense, if you squint a little this actually looks a LOT...

...like a consternated Kermit-the-Frog.

So, you know, SO CLOSE.

(Seriously, once you see it... it's all you see.)

So which is worse, guys: that bakers are already making globby Thanksgiving turkeys...

Or that there are only TWO CUPCAKES under that giblet-blasting load of icing?

(It doesn't have to make sense, ok? "Giblet-blasting" just sounds cool.)

Or, Bonus Option C: that enough people are buying these things to keep bakers making them. C'mon, people: TOUGH LOVE. Quit enabling the wreckerators!

And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note:

Let's hope the previous 49 Raymonds weren't so... [deep breaths, Jen, DEEP BREATHS] ...um, shiny?
[hurk!]

Thanks to Jamie C., Stacy F., Alyssa N., Anony M., Briana O., and Linda L. for forcing me to realize how eerily similar the globby turkey and shiny man chest are. WHERE'S THE "UNSEE" BUTTON ON THIS THING?

*****

Here, have a pretty rainbow butterfly chaser:

I made this rainbow wreath for John's room, using an 84-pc butterfly set I know you crafters are gonna love:

(3D Butterfly Wall Magnet Set)

They're double-sided and come with both magnets and stickers. Definitely browse the projects in the reviews, there are so many cool ideas - and the set is on sale right now for $9.99!