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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Aug222014

Friday Favs 8/22/14

Anyone remember the CW classic, "It a Gril"?

(Ahh, good times.)

'Cuz now we have version 2.0!

Like most upgrade's, it fi'xed one prob'lem while creati'ng a whole n'ew one.

 

Two things on this next one:

1) Apparently there's a "Hawaiian Shirt Day"
2) I've never been so disappointed to see someone spell "shirt" right

(Right? RIGHT???)

 

Of course we've established - many, MANY times - that bakers can't seem to stop making chocolate icing look like poop.

However, I found the one exception!

It's when you ask a baker to actually TRY to make icing look like poop:

Like an ice cream swirl on a balloon string.

The mind, it boggles.

 

When this mom requested a Minnie Mouse cake for her daughter's birthday, I *think* the baker tried for a simple 3-circle Mickey logo, like this:

But instead, it came out like this:

In the baker's defense, if you squint a little this actually looks a LOT...

...like a consternated Kermit-the-Frog.

So, you know, SO CLOSE.

(Seriously, once you see it... it's all you see.)

 

So which is worse, guys: that bakers are already making globby Thanksgiving turkeys in August...

Or that there are only TWO CUPCAKES under that giblet-blasting load of icing?

(It doesn't have to make sense, ok? "Giblet-blasting" just sounds cool.)

Or, Bonus Option C: that enough people are buying these things to keep bakers making them. C'mon, people: TOUGH LOVE. Quit enabling the wreckerators!

 

And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note:

Let's hope the previous 49 Raymonds weren't so... [deep breaths, Jen, DEEP BREATHS] ...um, shiny?
[hurk!]

 

Thanks to Jamie C., Stacy F., Alyssa N., Anony M., Briana O., and Linda L. for forcing me to realize how eerily similar the globby turkey and shiny man chest are. WHERE'S THE "UNSEE" BUTTON ON THIS THING?

*****

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Reader Comments (68)

I kissed a GRIL, I liked it...

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

I cant even figure out what that last cake is meant to be....I feel like it is probably something obvious but I cant figure it out, it is just too distorted

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKJC

The "turkey" cake looks more like a sphinx -- look at the paws . . .

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJGMB

Sung to "Rainbow Connection"

Why are there so many ca'kes with bad grammar?
And w'hy do they make us snide?
Then they spell shirt right
I'm so disillusioned
I'll try to take it in stride

Sh*t, they were told
But they just couldn't pipe it.
I think Kermit ate Mickey!
Some day I'll find them
The two drowning cupcakes
But now, I need eye bleach, oh please....

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Time to get my eyes checked. I saw the frog on the pink cake -- and then read your comment as "a constipated Kermit". Too much chocolate frosting on the previous two cakes, not enough on the pink.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

The thought that immediately came to my mind when looking at #3 was that there are no holes in that brown globule that doesn't look even slightly like excrement.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusie Q

#1- (which is actually #2) Considering the cake, perhaps "shirt" actually IS a misspelling.
#2- (or 3, whatever) Hey- that crap looks like icing!
#3- Consternated, or constipated?
#4- My main concern is WHY DOES THAT TURKEY HAVE TOES!??!?!?
#5- In the words of Jimmy Fallon's "Sara"… Ew.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I agree with JGMB about the 'turkey'. Beheaded lion? Perhaps the baker has a small child who has become obsessed with the Lion King...or some deep-seated zoo issues...

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterUrgo

Cake no. 1: Three words. Nine characters. And two mistakes. SMH. . . . .

Cake no. 2: Hawaiian Shirt Day started in Hawaii, where they'd wear their fun shirts each week on Friday to celebrate their native culture. It has morphed into Casual Friday on the mainland.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloha_shirt

@KJC: If you squint carefully and turn your head, I think the last cake is supposed to be Raymond's torso, and they're trying to depict that Raymond is very muscular. I see nipples on his chest, arms crossed, and carved abs and a belly button.

If I'm wrong, then either a) it's too early in the morning; or b) I need more cold medicine.

And if Raymond is that shiny in real life, he needs to see a dermatologist.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I'm actually surprised there are any cupcakes under that glob of a turkey wanna-be mess.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I sometimes suspect grocery store wreckerators are deliberately making ugly cakes so that when they don't sell at the end of the day, they get to take home a FREE cake!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAwesomeAud

Holy moly, they spelt it wrong! (Cake #3)

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I thought the last one was a fist and thought the nipples were supposed to be fingernails. It took a few minutes looking at it to see the arms crossed, etc. That is after reading the comment below it.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNetworklady

I saw the "turkey",
I read the label "cupcakes",
then I saw............ It Has CLAWS!

What the heck! I am laughing so hard tears are on my face.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Just two of my favorite lines from today's post:

"And finally, to end on a high-pitched screaming note"

"The mind, it boggles" (which line I have used myself for many years now)

That last cake is hrk-worthy. Ug.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Another child, another thrill,
Congratulations on your second gril.
She’s the next generation, she’s good to go,
Up-graded offspring: child 2.0

Happy Hawaiian Day Shirt,
Happy shirt day to you,
But why do your beaches
Have piles of poo?

To look like poop,
As everyone knows,
Don’t confuse feces
With a chocolate rose.

You can be old
And somewhat of a hermit,
But even you
Could see it was Kermit.

Hold still as you frost this,
Your hand is too jerky.
Ah, what the heck,
We’ll call it a turkey.

You think it is abs,
A six-pack tummy,
But what I see
Is the head of a mummy.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Actually, I thought at first the turkey was a really atrocious attempt at a baby butt cake. Am I the only one? The legs look like the little baby feet!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

why?!? why!?! WHHHYYYYY???!!!!!

Why would anyone put these on display, let alone attempt to sell them? The "cupcakes for two" if that's a turkey, it is NOT COOKED!!! Or only half done, wow...why???

I'm glad you 'splained Kermit/ Minnie because I was just...just...<sigh>

Have a GREAT WEEKEND everybody, and hey, there's a Simpson's marathon going on-on some cable channel, I don't know which one, but let's all watch it so we can forget horrible Giblet-blasting cupcake cakes (patooie). I'm in, if you need me I'll be d'ohing with Homer and trying to change the world with Lisa...

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

I'm afraid I saw no h'oles in the poopless rose. The "man c'hest" looks like a fist pump. I s'aw Kermit before I even read ab'out him. And that $2.00 pile of fr'osting makes m'y stoma'ch hurt ever'y time I lo'o'k at it. I sinc'erely doubt there are act'ual cup'cakes under th'at mess. Why that color??????

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancie

1rd ~ ***Note to self~ When ordering the baby shower cake for the eventual grandbaby shower, just ask for a plain sheet cake with maybe some piped shell thingy's around the edge. Words are just too difficult! Better yet, let's have pie!***

2th ~ Disappointment, thy name is Shirt.
3nd ~ So it IS possible to have chocolate frosting swirls look like something other than poo. Huh, who knew?
4st ~ I only see a pink Kermit. Are you SURE it's not supposed to be a pink Kermit?
5rd ~ It looks like something bowing down to something else. Maybe the wreckerator has a God complex?
6nd~ Somebody should get the 50th Raymond a towel. He looks a little sweaty. **hurk** I just made myself throw up O.O
@TheCreepyTribble and @Sharyn ~ Those 2 songs really don't mash-up well together in my head. o.O

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

I totally see Kermit too. For the last one, I see an Egyptian sarcophagus face without the colored headdress, little round eyes and a startled 'O' for a mouth. Lol

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRachel CrazyMum

Dear God, what is that THING??

No way that's a turkey. It looks like something Ridley Scott rejected for Alien cause it was just too damn scary.

Also, it looks poised to spring.

Flee, good people, FLEE!!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

So close and yet so far....

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I'm with you, Julie. I definitely thought the "turkey" was supposed to be a baby butt cake.

Also, the label says "for two" but that doesn't mean there are only 2 cupcakes under that mess.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteressjaytee

Is a "Hawaiian Day Shirt" something worn in Honolulu only during daylight hours? Does it make you happy? And are Hawaiian Night Shirts what they wear to bed each night? I'm as confused as that wreckerator.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGoose

Julie, I thought the same thing! It sure does look like a baby butt cake to me.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

I guess everybody doesn't love Raymond....

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

On that Minnie Mouse cake (#3) it looks more like a bad drawing of the Kumon (r) Learning Center logo.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

While the rest of the world calls them "Hawaiian shirts" the correct terminology is "Aloha shirts". So if you want to sound like a local Hawaiian, please DO NOT call them Hawaiian shirts, doing so will immediately brand you as a tourist. And in the same vein, each Friday in Hawaii is known as "Aloha Friday" not "Hawaiian Shirt Day" and encourages the wearing of Aloha shirts and/or casual attire. Just wanted to let you guys know so the next time you visit Hawaii you won't stick out too much, although the bright red sun burn is a dead give away.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

RE: the "Chocolate cupcakes for two." Maybe it's designed for a pregnant woman. (Pregnant women like chocolate don't they?) The baby shape is to remind her she's eating for two. Edges blurry to look like the sonogram.

@Mel - great work as usual.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBirdergirl

Totally saw Kermit before I even read your comments. And since when do turkey/chickens have toenails?

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

I agree with the other posters...I...don't think that is a turkey. A headless lion, maybe? If there are turkeys out there with clawed feet like that, I will be having lasagna for Thanksgiving this year.

The "consternated Kermit" made me laugh!

That shiny torso is just wrong on so many levels. Why would anyone want a cake like that?!

For VaBeach and any other Simpsons fans, FXX is showing every Simpsons episode ever aired 'round the clock for 12 days straight. You might need a lot of cake for that marathon. Happy watching!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

what is #5?? a glob of frosting on a sheet? Scary

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I think the turkey cake thing is supposed to be a dog. I have kids, that's like having a degree in interpreting abstract art and frosting abominations.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

what is #5?? a glob of frosting on a sheet? Scary

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

I think the turkey cake thing is supposed to be a dog. I have kids, that's like having a degree in interpreting abstract art and frosting abominations.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

what is #5?? a glob of frosting on a sheet? Scary

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The Minnie Mouse/Kermit cake almost looks like it was trying to go for the Newbury Comics logo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Newbury_Comics and that would have been an improvement.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersue

How did they get Raymond's abs so...shiny?

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoswita

Raymond is a grill! And we've come full circle.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

If I got a gril (l), It'd be a happyhappy day.
Also, #5 is a sphinx. I'm sure of it. Only, I'm not sure.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The black dots (eyes) on the "turkey" make me think that it is probably a really terrible attempt at a dog laying on it's paws.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBridgykhan

#5 oddly resembles Zuul the gatekeeper from Ghostbusters!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterChristi

A cake with a Hawaiian shirt theme that is probably for an office? Something familiar about this.

Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.--Bill Lumbergh

The ratio of people to cake is too big.--Milton Waddams

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

I furst saw an outline of Winnie the Pooh on the Minnie Cake...until you pointed out the consternated Kermit and now, that is all I can see. Thanks for that.

I think the "turkey" was meant to be either a sphinx or a bulldog (gone horribly wrong, in either case) but nothing excuses the fact that there are only two cupcakes under all that frosting.

Either that baker has never seen a shirtless man or Raymond has a medical issue.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

If you have holey sh*t, the cake is the least of your worries.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

It's not a turkey, it's a yellow frog.....at least according to my little one.

great post today

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermary

I think that it is the sphinx after the desert winds have blown away its head. By the way, the new Dr. Who sta rts tomorrow! Yay!

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJunebug

Cake 1: Cute birds, and a passing* grade on use of edible paper. As for the rest, I can only hope i't w'as delib'rate.
*with (lots of) room for improvement

Cake 2st: Oh, I see the problem: there's no shirt on the cake! :p (On the other hand, perhaps we should be grateful there isn't a real shirt on the cake.)
Also, agreed with anonymous about Aloha shirts and Aloha Friday, although there are also Aloha shirts that automatically brand you as a tourist...but that's another story.

Cake 3.14159...: SHπ? That's a new one; perhaps related to H-E-double toothpicks.

Cake 4°: Recently re-watched The Muppet Movie and I have to agree: definitely an unhappy Kermie, possibly when he meets Rowlf the Dog. Kermit does it so well - he should be the poster-frog for consternated. ( Demotivators, anyone? )

Thing the fifth: JGMB is right; it looks more like a beheaded Sphinx. I think it's those toes. OTOH, it's also missing a lot of curves: Engywook wouldn't like this one nearly as much.

Lot 666: When did frosting cakes with Silly Putty become a thing?

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Actually, the turkey is Sméagol attempting to hide his precious cupcake from the wreckerator.

August 22, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLuLu

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