The Far Side Of The Cake, Vol. 3

Of course, the irony of Phil's phobia was never completely lost on him.

 

***

 

Inside the Department of "All Fun & Games."

***

 

"The inspector listened to the woman's tale with suspicion. Sure, the dame SEEMED to be telling the truth about her husband's death, but he still suspected fowl play."

 

Thanks to Erin W., Lisa H., & Kimberly P. for allowing my inner Gary Larson to come out and play. 

*****

P.S. It's never too early to start decorating for spooky season, and these stick-on bats were my biggest hit last year:

3D Halloween Bats, Exterior Grade, 60 pc set


They're made of sturdy plastic, come in 4 different sizes, and have adhesive pads to easily stick them up anywhere in or outside your home. (I put a whole belfry of them on our front door.) (I don't know if "belfry" is right, but I'm going with it. :D) Even better, the whole 60 piece set is only $10 Prime!

The Magical Story Of Labor Day

Ah, Labor Day. A day when we celebrate labor and all of its laborious labors.

And who among us hasn't labored over laborious labors at some point in our labors? Heck, you may be laboring right now! You might even be IN labor! And that's the labor regarding which I have begun to labor over this post. Laboriously. And from a guy's point of view.*

(*Bearing in mind that, since I AM a guy**, I've never had to bear children myself - laboriously or otherwise.)

(**This is john, btw)

So it all starts innocently enough. There you are, minding your own business with your nicely chiseled six-pack...

...when BLAM!, some dude comes along and gets all up in your business!


Okay, that came out wrong.

 

The point is: you're pregnant. And now your belly looks like this:

Which kind of reminds me of this plumber I once knew...

 

Or, if you're of the clothing persuasion, like this:

Because pregnant ladies like to carry baby gherkins in their underwear.
You know, weird cravings and all that.

 

Anyway, a couple of weeks later the kid wants out:

In the worst way.

 

And NOW you're ready to labor laboriously. Which you might think would look like this:

"Aw! Just lookit that teensy tiny baby! I bet that didn't hurt a bit!"

 

Yeeeeah... no.

 

In reality, it tends to look more like this:

Only, you know, more goopiness, screaming, nudity, and the doctor's skin under your fingernails. Really, it's kinda like a SAW movie, except you can't sleep afterward because there's an unfamiliar person screeching in your room, as opposed to just in your nightmares.

 

And then, after all that hard labor, you have a beautiful baby:

Who may or may not kill you in your sleep.

 

I mean, probably not, but there's really no guarantee.

So anyway, good luck with that, and happy Labor Day!

 

Meredith, Stephanie A., Anony M., Gina R., Stephen, Ginn, & Julie W., may your labors never be in vain. Or in cake, for that matter.

*****

P.S. Friendly reminder: