Of Newspapers And Key Wangs

Q: What did Sarah get when she ordered a newspaper cake like this for her Dad's birthday?

(by Jo's Cakes)

A: Something black and white and wrecked all over.

(On the plus side, at least it wasn't for a big milestone birthday or anyth... oh.)

I hear these guys are out standing in their field:

Suh-WHEAT!

So do you think Kati needs help healing or falling?

Either way, at least we know what the baker could do better.

"Gimme an E!
"Gimme an R!
"What's that spell?"

DANGIT, BARB.

And finally, how do I know this is supposed to be a car key?

Because I'm a sporty little number, and it's TURNING ME ON.

Heyyyyooooo!!

(Just kidding.)

(I'm not sporty.)

Thanks to Sarah R., Min, Kati, Edward P., & Jennifer T., who much prefers driving a hard... bargain.

*****

P.S. While we're flirting with that PG-13 rating we may as well talk about bewbs, right? So here's a shout-out to my favorite wire-free bra, which I just bought four more of this month:

Warner's Easy Does It Seamless Wireless Bra

I love the under-arm smoothing panel - no dig or pinch! - and like most Warners, these are incredibly comfortable. I watch the listing and usually buy any color that goes under $20, and as of this writing "Toasted Almond", gray, and black are all $15 in my size. Definitely click over and check all the colors in your size. (I'm a 34DDD and wear a Large, if that helps.)

Oh, and be sure to check the image gallery for a better idea of how they look on larger tracts of land.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I May Be The Only One Seeing A Dong Here, And I'm OK With That

You know that old joke about the horse that goes into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Hey buddy, why the dong face?"

I mean, I've heard of a stiff upper lip before, but this is ridiculous.

I guess he's feeling a little... let down... over these other unicorn wrecks:

[head tilt]

Is it just me, or does this get more confusing the longer you look at it? I mean, is that second eye a nose? And is that her neck... or her mouth? What... what... what.

This next order was on a strict "need to know" basis:

Sorry, Ben; sadly your baker needed to know reading comprehension.

And finally, here's one I KNOW beyond any shadow of doubt is a unicorn... because there's a small picture of a unicorn beside it:

Well played, baker. WELL PLAYED.

Thanks to Danielle L., Amy P., Tanner C., & Sara P., who I know are all super proud of me for not making a single "horny" joke. IT WAS REALLY HARD, YOU GUYS.

*****

P.S. Speaking of unicorns, here's a cute holiday book for the kids in your life:

Never Let A Unicorn Meet A Reindeer!

Not only does it look adorable, it has over 2,500 five-star reviews. Dang!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: