Crapping Sprinkles

Those bizarre "ice cream cones" are back, and this time...

...they're crapping sprinkles.

Silly bakers, can't you see you're trying too hard? I mean, just balloons would be FINE.

I can see how I walked into that one.

Rosella's office had cupcakes for a pregnant co-worker, and call me crazy, but I *think* she's having a boy:

Ever heard the saying, "This isn't 'goodbye', it's only 'farewell'?"

Huh. Well, neither has this baker:

Now, GET OUT.

Sometimes, when I'm out of Whoopie Pies and everything is awful, I like to remind myself, "Hey, Jen, you know what? This is someone's wedding cake:"

And suddenly life isn't so bad.

(Well, except for the no-Whoopie-Pies thing. John, get on that, will you?)

So, Sarah L., Joann F., Rosella S., Justin C., & Danielle E., got any whoopie pies? Asking for a friend.

*****

P.S. Since this saved my butt during a long painting day recently, I have a random product recommendation:

No Buckle No-Show Stretch Belt

This is my new favorite belt, y'all. It basically turns anything with belt loops into an elastic waist. So comfy I forget it's on, slimline so it doesn't show under my t-shirts, and NO BELT BUCKLE to dig into my belly or unbuckle for bathroom breaks. Woohoo!

You know how stretch jeans are forever sliding down when you sit or bend, so you have to keep hitching them back up? No more! I wear this with all my jeans now. It's entirely elastic, so it moves and stretches with you, zero painful digging. I HIGHLY recommend for anyone well endowed with squish in the belly area.

"Near-Miss Day" Hits Home

It's Near-Miss Day, minions, and I know *just* how to celebrate:

[singsong] With a UNICOOORN!

[head tilt]

Is... is that a beak?

K, icks-nay on the unicorns.

How 'bout a cute butterfly?

Er...

Elephant cupcakes?

Glass of wine? (Please?)

Arg.

C'mon, bakers, it's not like I'm asking for a star performance...

OH COME ON.

Tell ya what, guys, just slap down a few celebratory balloons, and we'll call it a day.

Oooh, festive.

Nope.

NOPE.

Seriously?

AND THAT'S A DAY.

Thanks to Brandi F., Leigh J., Amy H., Michelle, Kerri T., Daniel B., Hilary E., Claire, Eric P., & Joe V. for the farthest "near" misses of the day.

*****

P.S. Now that I've inflicted all that pain, here's something to make you feel better:

Shiatsu Shoulder Massager

Ever since I bought this shoulder massage 2 years ago everyone who's tried it has turned into a puddle of contented goo, and refused to move 'til it shut off. My Disney puppeteer friends are its biggest fans; people using and wrecking muscles most of us don't even know we have. I keep buying more of these as gifts!

This massager can actually bruise if you're not careful; it's got serious power for even rock-hard knots, and you can use it on your entire back. (I hold it diagonally to get below the shoulder blades, and around my waist for the lower back.) Highly recommend!