"Near-Miss Day" Hits Home

It's Near-Miss Day, minions, and I know *just* how to celebrate:

[singsong] With a UNICOOORN!

[head tilt]

Is... is that a beak?

K, icks-nay on the unicorns.

How 'bout a cute butterfly?

Er...

Elephant cupcakes?

Glass of wine? (Please?)

Arg.

C'mon, bakers, it's not like I'm asking for a star performance...

OH COME ON.

Tell ya what, guys, just slap down a few celebratory balloons, and we'll call it a day.

Oooh, festive.

Nope.

NOPE.

Seriously?

AND THAT'S A DAY.

Thanks to Brandi F., Leigh J., Amy H., Michelle, Kerri T., Daniel B., Hilary E., Claire, Eric P., & Joe V. for the farthest "near" misses of the day.

*****

P.S. Now that I've inflicted all that pain, here's something to make you feel better:

Shiatsu Shoulder Massager

Ever since I bought this shoulder massage 2 years ago everyone who's tried it has turned into a puddle of contented goo, and refused to move 'til it shut off. My Disney puppeteer friends are its biggest fans; people using and wrecking muscles most of us don't even know we have. I keep buying more of these as gifts!

This massager can actually bruise if you're not careful; it's got serious power for even rock-hard knots, and you can use it on your entire back. (I hold it diagonally to get below the shoulder blades, and around my waist for the lower back.) Highly recommend!