10 Easy Ways To Completely Wreck Your Icing Balloons
It's almost TOO simple: a round blob with a string.
So how can you wreck the humble icing balloon?
Oh, my sweet, naive little baker friends.
LET ME COUNT THE WAYS.
1) Embrace The Airbrush:
I'm talking full-on bear hug territory here, folks. Love it. Use it. Defend it with your life. Don't ever let it go.
2) Choose Your Colors.... WISELY:
Crap brown with black "highlights?" Oooh, now you're cooking with gas!
Plus, anything that brings to mind bleeding orifices...
...IS PERFECT.
3) Remember Size Is Relative:
And you could totally fit a few more in there.
4) ...But Bigger Is Always Better:
Just throw a few tiny balloons on top to keep it confusing.
5) Of COURSE That Piping Tip Works
I mean, why wouldn't it?
6) Try Turning Them Into Insidious Ground-Dwelling Creatures:
::slither slither slither::
7) Or Colorful Hair Buns!
Floating grandma heads have never looked so festive.
(I'm not the only one seeing this, right?)
8) Gravity Schmavity:
Just be sure to never look at how real balloons work in real life, 'cuz that shiz will blow your freaking mind.
9) Look For Inspiration In Unlikely Places:
Like the wads of chewing gum under the counter!
And finally, the tried-and-true favorite of bakers everywhere:
10) Just Make Them Look Like Sperm:
Aww, three of them made it!
Thanks to Allison W., Erin, Becky G., Anne B., Hilary E., Mandy B., Rachel W., Brenda, Susan C., & Jason for finding some of the most hilarious balloon wrecks ever conceived.
*****
P.S. Speaking of conception, this book is the perfect gift for either a baby shower or any mom who needs a laugh:
