When A Wreckerator Calls

"Psst. Listen."

"I know you're scared."

"But I need you to listen to me..."

"The call..."

"...is coming..."

"...from INSIDE..."

"...the bakery."

"Gooble!?"

"Oh, never mind."

"Also it's Thanksgiving. Good luck!"

Thanks to Ursula S., Karyn D., Ken K., Nickincam, and Tammy T. for helping us understand why so many turkey cakes look terrified.

Your Goose Is Cooked, But The Turkey Is Traumatizing

Ever wonder why bakers keep making cakes that look like cooked turkeys?

Or rather, cakes that are supposed to look like cooked turkeys?

 They just, I dunno... make me a little uncomfortable.

Look at those fleshy leg cannons. It's not right.

Here's one for people who say turkey is too dry:

EXTRA MOIST

And let's talk about how funny they look from the front!

Or is this the back?

::head tilt::

You know what, let's not think about that too long.

The important take-away here is it looks like a bald guy who's been hit in the face with a pecan pie. A naked bald guy. Wearing wrist ruffles. Who has no legs.

And once you see this as a 10 gallon cowboy hat, there's no going back:

Howdy, poultry.

Even when bakers get it right, and the cake looks like an honest-to-goodness turkey, I have some issues:

For one, I will never look at Pigs in a Blanket the same.

 (Whyyy are they there??)

Listen, bakers, I think I speak for all humanity when I say NO ONE wants to see two cooked turkeys on their tables this Thanksgiving. So please, just give the people what they want!

MORE POO-WANGS!

Thanks to Amanda S., Linda M., Robin R., Jennifer G., Nathan A., Alexandra M., & Melanie C. for that fowl content.

 *****

OK, so it's no pig-in-a-blanket, but this plastic yodeling pickle is EXACTLY what your holiday season needs:

Yodelling Pickle

The reviews are an entertainment all on their own, though several seem to suggest this looks like something OTHER than a pickle, so good luck solving that mystery. ;)