It's Talk Like Shakespeare Day!
So, instead of making Much Ado About Wrecking, we're just going to let the Bard himself insult the cakes.
"They lie deadly that tell you you have good faces."
"Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood."
- King Lear
"I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed monster!"
- The Tempest
"Thy food is such
As hath been belch'd on by infected lungs."
"Thou lump of foul deformity!
Out of my sight! Thou dost infect my eyes."
- Richard III
"I wonder that you will still be talking. Nobody marks you."
- Much Ado About Nothing
"A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; base, proud, shallow...
"...beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson...
"... glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave, one that wouldst be a bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch...
"... one whom I will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest the least syllable of thy addition."
- King Lear
Wow. Uh, thanks, Will. I couldn't have said it better myself.
I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks to Elisabeth T., Kimberly L., Alexandra D., Mallie R., Amy P., Rebecca C., Jennifer S., Libby W., Alison, and Talley. Fair befall you!