I Bet The Pillow Tasted Better, Too

Remember, kids, it's wrong to laugh at someone's name.

Unless it's spelled like this:

I hear he's a real gas!

(No, that's not really his name. Sorry, Dr. Goldfarb.)

(Bee tee dubs, did you know the Brits sometimes call a fart a "trouser cough?" I just felt that needed to be shared. You're welcome.)

Just another reminder that gender reveal cakes are a terrible idea:

I wonder how much awkward back-pedaling these mistakes have caused over the years. Like, that second celebratory back-flip better seem JUST AS HAPPY, mister. [glare]

Speaking of happy, a pro baker sent me this screen cap of a conversation with one of his customers, and it is, in a word, perfection:

Phew! Thank goodness she caught that.

You know how Mario Kart has Rainbow Road? Turns out Monster Jam has something similar:

Fecal Freeway!

(There's a "skid mark" joke in there SOMEWHERE, I just know it.)

This cookie cake was bare in the middle, so they asked the baker to fill in the big space with something decorative.

They got this:

Picasso, eat your heart out.

And finally, look, sometimes a baker gets really high, tries to eat a pillow, and then realizes she needs to hide the secret beer stash from the boss, ok? This could literally happen to anyone.

Really, the only mystery left is how that bottle is still full, amirite? Haha! You know, because drunks? In the bakery? Like, who are drunk while decorating? Am I being too subtle? No? OH GOOD.

Thanks to Carol B., Charmaine F., Craig B., Jill K., Stacey M., & Shari I. for helping me put the B in "subtle."

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Santa's "C" Team

Now, Droopy!

Now, Poopy!

Now, Boner!

...and Pancake!

On, Slappy!

On, Psycho!

On, Peanut!

And Lunch Break!

To the top of the shelf!
To the stores at the mall!

Now wreck away, wreck away, 

WRECK AWAY, ALL!

Thanks to Penny V., Bill S., Tina L., Bernadette, Maria, Janie C., Lisa T., Jayla S., & Meghan G. for the wrecky roll call.

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Here's a better roll call for New Year's:

TINY PRANCERS!

These bitty unicorns sit on the edge of your glass and make whatever you're drinking at least 37% more magical. That's science, y'all. Plus they let you tell which drink is yours, which I guess is TECHNICALLY the whole point, but you and I know better. ::wink::