My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen





Beware! It's the Shark-Attack-Cupcake-Mountain!


Hey, Guys, "cupcake-mountain?" Really? I mean, it's supposed to be the ocean, so wouldn't "waterfall" or something be better? Not that sharks could very well dismember people in a waterfall, of course.

What's that? No, I am NOT missing the point. I'm just saying that a certain level of realism might have aided the overall design...

Right, shutting up now.

Me: "Knock-knock."
Rose F.: "Who's there?"
Me: "Candy-gram."

UPDATE: It's true: this was not a pro-made cake. I made the exception because so many of you sent it in, and I thought it was funny. Not poorly-made, mind you; just funny!

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Reader Comments (137)

What??? Why??? Seriously, do we know why this cake was commissioned? Tell me it's not a wedding cake.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That is an amazing reference to Classic SNL. Nice. I giggled my arse off.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You seriously just posted my worst nightmare realized in icing. If anyone gave me these I would run away screaming!

BTW, I would have called it a cupcake wave (wave of horror or choose).

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I just threw up in my mouth.

I think the red icing for blood is what made this worse than a baby shooting out of it's mother's tummy, I mean as distrubing as it was at least it left the blood out of it.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWhat's Her Face

Jen - I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this entry, especially the last lines. I think I broke something trying not to guffaw out loud (as I'm at work, and don't want to be busted). You consistently make my day with your witty cake commentary.

As far as today's cake-y monstrosity goes, I'm wondering if I'm the only one who finds the severed limbs on the cupcakes to be rather creepy.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSister Raven

This is disgusting. Who thought severed limbs would be appetizing?

Jen B.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh that's just bad....
I don't even think there's words to describe how bad....

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

Perhaps a surfboard with a bite out of it, or a beachball, or some tiny flipflops could be added? For the realism thing, I mean.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBaya

Ah crap! My cupcake doesn't have any bloody hands or feet on it, or 1/2 a pound of shark icing...I got gypped.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

ok, i kinda love this one, even as i acknowledge its wreckiness.

i thought i was the only crazy still referencing that skit.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBabelBabe

Now I know what I want for MY birthday!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReal Live Lesbian

"Candy gram from whom?"

That is quite possibly the most awesome-awful cupcake mountain-waterfall-monstrosity ever. On one hand, I completely appreciate the theme. Who doesn't love carnage on a cupcake right? But it would look infinitely better on a cake.

Cases in point

Sure not the best cakes ever, but not bad for homemade.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I just saw this recently somewhere. Hmmm...I don't remember where. But, I loved it then and I love it now. This is a very silly cupcake ensemble and I think it was meant to be.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just don't even know what to say...

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCharly

"Your not the candygram your that pesky land shark aren't you?"

Um NO! Just NO! Or as my friend says PHAIL>

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAccidental housewife

I'm still laughing about your comments, Jen. "LANDSHARK!" I do have to say that the idea of the cake is awesome, but the execution, not so much.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I wonder if they used the rule of thumb. Or arm. Or head.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Yummy!! The idea of eating torn off hands and feet just makes me want to dive in (pun intended)


October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

First of all - creepy. Second of all - whats with the shark's looking rabid? I know their teeth tend to be crazy but those look like they are foaming at the mouth!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

I feel sorry for all the Barbie and Ken dolls missing their hands and feet :(

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjdsmylover

Man, the old SNL was sooooo much better!

"Just a dolphin, ma'am."

Tracy O

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

Congratulations on best humor blog
from bloggers choice awards

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRacheyll

Oh I can hear the kiddies fighting over those cupcakes now...

Kid #1
"I want the one with the bloody hand!"

Kid #2

Kid #3
"I want the shark!"

LOL! It beats fighting over those frosting roses any day!!!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFrazzMom

Well, at least it's not a cupcake cake.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjanet

This one's a head-scratch inducing concept for me.
Wrong in a really funny, sort of disturbing way.
The sharks' jacked-up grills are the best part!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna McCarthy

This would pair nicely with Marcus' beach/tsunami cake.


October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

I'm a sick enough puppy that I think this is funny...and I have one of those cupcake stands

I think of the SNL skit when I see that Swiffer commercial of the mop trying to "get back together" with the housewife - when the (pathetic)flowers don't work, he sends a candygram...rofl

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

What in the name of all that's...errr bloody? I'm just dying to hear the back story on this one.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

Hee hee... candy gram..... "Just a dolphin, Ma'am." I love that cake-ish creation.... pass the hands and feet, please. Blech!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfour little blessings

I'm with the anonymous who posted at 10:31 about the uneven distribution of, ahem, goodies among the cupcakes. I'm trying to distract myself from the bloody horror by focusing on potential arguments over why Kiddie A gets a heck of a lot more frosting than Kiddie B.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I fall in the "I think this is hillarious" catagory. The concept, anyway. The actual exicution (no pun intended) is quite wrecktastic.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRedd

I'm changing every single bit of wedding planning right now (even though it's a week away) so I can have a beach wedding and use this "cake".

That would be hilarious.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

I can't say more than has already been said *except* I believe the hands and feet were created from a polymer clay mold. There's one specifically designed just to make hands and feet and these look suspiciously like those designs.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTexPatriate

If you kind of squint, the shark looks like a bunny. Honestly, that's the first thing I thought when I saw it. Perhaps it's the evil, man-eating rabbit from Monty Python?

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmily J

Nothing says Happy Birthday, or Bon Voyage, or Congratulations on the New Baby like a shark attack cupcake mountain replete with tiny severed body parts encircled with red gel icing. I especially like how the sharks breach from one cupcake to the other with such realism, it's almost like an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kindom! Thrilling!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The rest of the bodies are obviously inside the sharks. That's why the sharks are so large. Can't wait for someone to cut into them and find a torso.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is totally for a boy! He's the only one who could even attempt to love the body parts "floating" around in cupcake hell!

On a positive note, I love how the decorator "caught" the ocean in the cupcakes. Kudos!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersues2u2

I'm sorry, there should never. ever be BLEEDING LIMBS on any sort of a cake-ish creation.

I almost dressed my 8 month old as the land shark for halloween this year. I think we'll wait for next year, when he can "get it" and have fun trying to eat people. ; )

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy

More evidence that the shark has been set up to take the fall. There is no way he could eat people with the shape his gums are in. That is some serious swollen gingivitis.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I think it needs one of those little plastic clown heads "floating" on one cupcake, just to be completely terrifying.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchefann

As part of studying for my Bio 204 exam(vertebrates, yay!), I'm going to explain why those sharks' mouths aren't wrong.

One, fish can have teeth anywhere in and around the mouth, including into the throat and outside the mouth(sawfish, anyone?).

Two, sharks have very kinetic jaw suspension, so they can swing the jaw out thanks to articulation with what was the second gill arch(the first is, of course, the jaws themselves).

Thank you for reading. This geeky post has now ended.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSari Everna

I can't even lie... I would totally pay actual American currency for that! I THINK THAT"S AWESOME!!! (and the snl line makes it even batter!)

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertony a.k.a. isweatbutter

That's just gross.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCeCe

Aaaagggghhhhh! That is disgusting! The theme, AND the lack of skill!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

*knock knock*

"Who is it?"
"Mrs. ahrlsberg?"

I know for a fact that this was made by a home baker (for an adult party).

So really you shouldn't have even posted this cake.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your candy gram comment made this post even better!

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Nothing says eat me like a severed hand!


October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

I hope I don't have do eat a dirty feet (or one with a certain cheesy smell)

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

This is my favorite cake wreck EVER.

October 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwhirlwind180

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