My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Optimus Wrecks

Some cake designs are so popular, I get to see all kinds of Wrecky variations. I'm having way too much fun with it, too; the other day I was positively giddy when I received my 5th Costco Princess & the Frog themed Wreck (stay tuned for that post). Yep, I need to get out more. In the meantime, though, let me share my Transformers Wrecks collection with y'all.

First, the "official" design, for reference:

So no matter what, you know someone's going to have purple poo in the morning.

Here's Wreck #1, or as I like to call it, Magma Madness:

But, you know, orange magma... red flames: at least they're related.

Next, Wreck #2: the Crackling Blood Bath:

Kinda hurts to look at, doesn't it?

And finally, behind Wrecky Door #3:

The Bubbly Stuff That Would Not Be Named. I think it's growing, too; it seems to be creeping insidiously up over the inscription.

Beth W., Cades, & Jennifer N., your cakes may not have gotten their flames in icing, but at least they got flamed here on Wrecks. Eh?

« Sadness Takes on Cake Form | Main | THAT...Doesn't Look Like Dirt »

Reader Comments (90)

Oh my goodness... when I first saw this post, I thought the "official design" was going to be the wreck. I ordered a Transformers cake for my stepson's 4th birthday in April, and what I got was pretty close to that (I know I've got a picture of it someplace).

I HATED IT!! I mean... a postcard stuck in the cake? For what I paid for it, I could have done better than that myself!

Looking at the wrecks of this cake, I can see that they are indeed awful. But I gotta tell ya - the original design of this one wasn't a big winner either.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

I swear, I would not accept and pay for any of those cakes. The middle one is all cockamamie on the cardboard, besides being incredibly ugly. It would suck to have to out that out at your kid's party.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterblissfully caffeinated

The last one looks like some type of plant. And the second one...Poor Optimus Prime, he didn't even see the person crossing the street before he hit them!!

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManders

Seriously? Wow. The original isn't even that great but come on... magma? :)

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzyhomemaker

omg! the 2nd one! The blood bath!

omg the killed kenny! Bahahahaha!!

hehehe...i watch too much South park

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Wentz

My son had this cake last year and a certain big store with the initials WM actually did an awesome job. Those 3 you showed us however, not awesome.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I can not show these to my son, he would cry...and he's 23.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPrinceton McKinney

I've done this cake about 80 times, and never once did it look THAT bad. What kind of tip where they using on #3? Good lord.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel sorriest for poor Kenny. Back when I was about his age, the boys at the party would have looked at something like that and laughed wildly and said "Should I, or have I?" and then make noises I have since come to associate with my cat working on a furball.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

OMG, did these poor people actually pay for the cakes? Do people mention that when they submit photos? I think I would pay for #1 (even though the orange flames are kinda puffy looking) but definitely not the other two.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenster

The second wreck... it's like a driver's ed video. SO MUCH BLOOD!

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlexandra Erin

They are all really bad. I think #2 is the worst and I may even, possibly have refused the cake and refused to pay. It looks like.... my four year old worked on it!

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGameGirlz

I actually like #1. I think it's the huge pillowy border of blue that appeals to me. #2 is gastly and #3 shameful.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaggie

(Shamefaced look) I ordered this cake for my son this year- well, actually, he picked it out, those colors and food just... eek. Luckily they did a decent job with it though, nothing like these wrecks.

I will testify that the blue dye does NOT come off of fingers and, er, cough, the "aftereffects" ended up dark green. For a week. o.O

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSpamamander

I hope no one actually paid for #2!

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Wreck #1 kinda looks like sea kelp. Orange, puffy, ugly sea kelp.

October 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter~E

The last one looks like the red weed from The War of the Worlds. Scary!

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like bacon on the top of the third cake! Weird! This blog makes me glad my three daughters hate b'day cake!

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

On Evan`s cake(3rd) that first wheel of the truck looks kinda weird doesnt it?
And i like the bloody cake though...:D

Tiffany Powell" REL="nofollow" TITLE="Tiffany Powell, Norfolk, Virginia 23513 - SSN, Credit Records, Arrest Records, Court Records, Criminal Records ..">Tiffany Powell, Norfolk, Virginia 23513 - SSN, Credit Records, Arrest Records, Court Records, Criminal Records ..

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenternotimetoeat

Why on earth do they design these cakes knowing that some minimum wage worker will have to attempt to re-create it?

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteradozeneggs

Ooohhh... My son had that cake for his birthday last year. I didn't order it, so I had no idea it was supposed to look BETTER. Ha!

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

My first thought on wreck #3...looks like Optimus Prime is swimming near a coral reef. As I read further, my second thought was "there's an inscription??"

October 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDarcy

I haven't gotten to commenting on these cause I just HAD to show them to my boyfriend and my flatmate. They both laughed their heads off.

THe first one was ok, if I got that one I probably would have thought that whoever paid for that must have been cheap.

The second cake... I woul have switched the transformers for Freddy Kruger. GOD that one is horrible.

The third one... I wonder if the decorator was watching The Little Mermaid when he was making the flames. Looks horrible, I'd have sent it back and demanded a refund. UGLY!

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Wow. Cake #3 looks like coral is covering it. That's pretty scary.

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I HATE making that cake! It's so ugly. Mine have never looked as bad as those though...

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

#2- Eek! #3- Some form of coral/sea life growing on there...

#1 is just gross. Unless, of course, Little Dominic loves cake icing (I hate it in large amounts!)...

October 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

That last one looks like coral, haha!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBanana

I'm loving the postcard, as well - wtf kinda lazy dec is that??

Too funny...

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

The last one is either coral, or someone decorated the cake with ketchup. Ew.

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

I've made that cake many times, and it is stupid easy, and good lord people why does a cake need 10 lbs. of icing!

October 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

After seeing this, I want a cake with "blood" dripping down it! Perfect for Halloween.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLizzi

Oh man I laughed out loud at these.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer B.

Picture #2 reminds me of the high school drivers ed films like "Blood on the Highway" and "Red Asphalt" ...

October 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

omg- my ex had this cake for my son this year for his 5th birthday- and it was effing terrible!! my ex complained (they even wrote 'rickey and jay' when my son's name is 'rickey jay') and ended up getting the cake for free. hot mess, for sure.

October 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

It looks like the Ripley mold/growth from Dreamcatcher --

...Worst part of that is, if you eat it you get an evil alien slug in you.

October 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZaphne

...That's not coral in that last picture - it's slime mold! Seriously? Seriously.

December 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkendrasue

omg! my sis-in-law got this cake for her son's
5th birthday and it didn't even look as good as the wrecks.

March 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterriann

Look at the first stab at the reference cake. You see how the "flames" are seemingly spewing from Optimus? It looks like he's vomiting orange soda, hitting the edge of the cake and splashing back at him.

May 9, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The sadest part about this one is that my mother ordered this from Wal-Mart for my brother's 8th birthday party a few weeks ago. They put her order in for the wrong week (the week after the party) so it wasn't done when she went to pick it up. In 5 minutes, while she waited for it, they created the cake EXACTLY as it looks in that promo shot. So how did those wreckerators manage to screw it up?!

May 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ha, my boyfriend got that cake this year from a Safeway in Tacoma, and, amazingly enough, it looked almost exactly like it was supposed to! I was quite impressed, and it almost distracted me fromt he fact that he was getting a Transformer's cake for his 18th birthday...

...Oh, who am I kidding? That was awesome!

February 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJess

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