My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

And Now the Conclusion of The Spider Wreck Chronicles

Ok, I think yesterday's post was getting a little Wreck-less there, what with the cute dreadlocked spiders and all. Sorry. Here, this should help:

One smashed spider extraordinaire, coming up! Don't you just love those bloated little legs, the pimply red dots, and how they moved him after air-brushing the board? Oh, and just to mess with your sense of perspective: that red thing above the eyes is not another unibrow; it's his mouth.

I'll give you a moment to reorient yourself. (My ear hit my shoulder the first time, too.)

Now brace yourself, because next up is the most frightening Spider wreck I have ever seen.

Tell me that doesn't look like a demon-possessed Mr. Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street. Remember Snuffy?

That's truly terrifying, people. What next, a zombie Micky Mouse? Stop messing with my childhood icons!

Now, I'm told these cookie decorations are supposed to look like spiders on their webs:

But I'm pretty sure they're squashed ants on target boards. C'mon, four legs? How lazy are these decorators getting?

Of course, some err in the other direction:

That's 10 legs on the guy on the right. I'm also wondering if these spider puff balls are solid icing, 'cuz if they are then I couldn't think of a more appropriate inscription. Yeesh.

Thanks Caycee H., Shawn A., Kayla B., and Vanessa C.!

« Andrew Zimmern Interview | Main | The Spider Wreck Chronicles »

Reader Comments (130)

It appears that bakers are not aware that spider's have 8 legs. 8 People!! Not 6, not 2, not 10. Even little kids know that. Wreck-tastic!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Snuffleupagus? My first thought was Cthulhu.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaya

OH MY MY MY! Ok, the flat spider, just laziness. BUT WHAT THE HECK is the deal with that hairy "Ode to Tarantula" crap. Yea, lets bring that out at the party. All the kiddies will go a runnin.. Yea Memories!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

is it too much to ask, (of cake decorators as of filmmakers), that arachnids have 8 legs and insects have 6? 10 appendages are for squid!
The best strategy to take here may be to Eat Them All Real Quick so we don't have to look at them any more.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersciencegirl

OMG that Snuffleupagus thing is SCARY. I hope no one buys that for their children...can we say nightmares???

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

EEEEEEEEEK is right! Good grief!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbbi

There are so many things to say, but I want to be sure there's enough room for all the comments - So, I'll just stick with the putrid color of the frosting on the squished ant / spider cookies.
N-A-S-T-Y...It looks like mold or something. Ick :o(

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarybeth

Maybe the last spiders have 8 legs and 2 pincers. That would make me go "Eeek!"

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKPP

hey now.. take it easy on the poor decorators!! not everyone had a college course in invertebrate biology and knows that arachnid species have 8legs!
and, by the way, ants are insects and should have 6 legs.
Yes, both are members of the Arthropod phylum, but belong to different Classes!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterspartangogreengal

I want to cry.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryousuckatcraigslist

"You're the only one who can see me, Bird. IN YOUR NIGHTMARES."

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The last one kills me!!!!

I think because.....OK, so we have a ten-legged spider (perhaps so he can share with some of his friends above...?) And I can see that maybe the idea was to make the front two pincers (yes, that's soooo much better)

But look at the one on the left. I'm assuming there is a leg behind the shine of the packaging and I still count....nine. Either way, he's a mutant!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I thought the pimply 6 legged CCC was bad...until I saw the other wrecks on this post. In comparison, that first one is almost decent. Only in comparison and only almost decent...just to set the record straight!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren and Kyle

And again with the legs . Is it that hard to remember basic biology

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMella

That last one looks remarkably like two bloated ticks, which is even worse than bloated spiders with stubby legs.

These are definitely all wrecktastic.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Um, sciencegirl, octopi have 8 legs (or arms if that's your preferred term).

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not Mr. Snuffleupagus...Cthulu.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cake #2 - Agree with earlier posts -- Dear Snuffy has been eaten by Cthulu or The Swamp Creature. What would really make it a ick-tastic would be to change the colors to 'camo' or decomp. green & brown. Then I'd buy it & serve it up at my sci-fi halloween party as a Klingon petit-four (?)

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

If it were the icing balls in the last one that had 4 limbs instead of the ant cookies, they would have made awesome soot balls! (From the movie Spirited Away.)

But then there's still the black icing... which is disgusting. Even if someone made soot balls on purpose and were really cute, I still couldn't eat one. Black is a horrible color for icing. How much food coloring do they have to use to make it BLACK and not grey?

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeli

If those were solid icing, I would be going for them first.

And I think the two front thingies on the one you said had 10 legs are supposed to be antennae.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJanus

I think the spiders in the last pic are complete with pedipalps. Those help spiders sense objects and aid in prey capture and feeding. They're part of the mouth, and not legs.
Just FYI. :o) (I have a tarantula btw)

The first 'spider' is so sad looking, and the demonic snufflupagus? Ugh. LOL

~Amy B

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think 2 of the legs on the last post were supposed to be part of the mouth, mandibles or something like that

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKirchy

8 is not hard... 8 is easy. Right after 7. 8 is great!

These people have jobs????

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Eight legs, people, EIGHT LEGS! Isn't that one of the first things we learn as children? Octogons and spiders - EIGHT.
I'd say that they haven't been watching Sesame Street, except that one Snuffy-like cake begs to differ.
Is it wrong that after reading this post, I'm craving cake?

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think the one you say is like Snuffy is more like Man-Thing.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndy Lester

what's up with all these cake decorators forgetting that spiders are arachnids and thus have 8 legs?

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbriana

I TOTALLY thought it was Snuffy.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLindsay Blattel

O M G Must. Breathe. I'm holding my sides from the Snuffy one.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Okay, you got me. That CCC is awful. It's only missing tire tracks.

Giant road kill spider.

What's he so damn happy about?:-)

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercupcakefan

The spiders with 10 legs must have nicked them from the 6 legged spiders!

I LOVE this blog! My pal and I laughed ourselves into sore bellies on Monday night looking at all the cake wrecks. Must have been why I slept so well that night. Thanks!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPeggy

It's not Mr. Snuffleupagus, I think it's Cousin Itt from the Addams Family!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this blog is crack for the soul.
Did the Walmart spiderball on the left have 8 1/2 legs? It's hard to tell. But, EEEEEK inded!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

Squashed ants on target boards - right on! I think you found the perfect description.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

Snuffleupaguss cake looks more like Cthulhu to me! Oh and by the way Cthulhu For President!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulieZS

Holy cheez, that Spiderupagus is one nightmarish-lookin' creation. And you just know that the icing is the cheap kind you buy in a can at grocery stores; that spider no doubt has a clayey, flakey texture and enough sugar to burn the roof of your mouth off. Urgle.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScrivvet

The last ones remind me of the Soot Sprites in Spirited Away. Kinda cute in a not-spidery kind of way...

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarahSilent

When in doubt, find out...
If you don't know what something looks like but want to draw (or make icing pictures of) it, then get a reference picture first!

I figure the first cake only has 6 legs because cupcake-legs are just too fat. I also can accept the idea that the last cake has 10-legged spiders because 2 legs are supposed to be palps. But those cookies? No excuse.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

These are definitely more wreck-taculous than yesterday's spiders. The Snuffy spider is creeping me out! Yesterday an example of an unintentionally good version of a muppet character; this one is definitely an unintentionally bad version of a muppet!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

The second one scares me o.o

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterksaldria

To the anonymous poster who replied to sciencegirl:

Yes, octopi do have eight appendages, hence the name. However, squid, which is what sciencegirl was referring to, have ten: eight arms and two tentacles.

-phantomcranefly from livejournal (on a school computer so I can't log in)

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It amazes me that it is so difficult to count to 8 for so many people...

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlilianril

Or maybe the extra legs on the spider on the left are a failed attempt to represent the tibial hooks male tarantulas have on their front legs to restrain the female's fangs during mating.

Because we know most grocery store bakery artists arachnologists by education.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarin (AntiM)

I'm very disturbed by the Devil Spawn-Snuffy cake.

And Hillary @9:33am is right -- Wal-Mart, that's a tick cake. That ain't no spider!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna McCarthy

The Snuffleupagus spider actually looks more like Cthulu...

um... lol, like a lot of other people said.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdakota

I thought the second one looked like Davy Jones from POTC.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterholly


I actually get to correct you guys for once.


Actual spelling: Cthulhu


October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn (the hubby of Jen)

Oh Lord. Another ROTFLMAO entry. Squashed ants, yep. I C that 2 ! And I think I might be a little too old to know Snuffleupagus (sp?), but I definitely see Cousin It as did several other (I presume) Boomers did. I'm not sure about Cthulhu either, but I'll take your fan base word for it! I'll have to Wiki that one. I agree with the replete tick observation too. Yuck.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaryO

Not snuffleupeguss...Cthulu!!!

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDaeni

Actually for Halloween there is an official Disney trading pin of a zombied Mickey, with creepy eyes and all.

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

Any kid who has seen a tarantula can tell you that the spider that appears to have ten legs actually has 8 legs plus in the front it has 2...ummm...don't know the actual word for them but when I was a kid we called them spider weenies. (though those are rather long ones...)

October 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermisa

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>