Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct312008

Mum's the Word

Wow, I'm almost sad it's Halloween; I have oodles more Halloween Wrecks to share! (So take note, Wreckporters: get your Thanksgiving Wrecks submitted early.)

Let's see, we've covered pumpkins and ghosts and spiders, but I feel like something's missing from our Halloween line up...

OH! I know! This is:


Erm.

Hey, John R.? What'd you say this was again? A mummy? [checking photo again] With a red hair bow? Seriously? Wait - that's a cookie! Does that even count?

Hm, well, let's see what Amanda M. dug up for us.

Amanda thought this was some kind of spiderweb, but my Wreck radar is telling me it was supposed to be a mummy head. It's also alerting me to the fact that this is a dreaded CCC, so we'd best move on.

Ok, here we go: that's actually recognizable. Kudos, Annie D.; I bet you never thought this would be the best looking one, huh? Still, I include it as a base of reference for this next one:


Yep, Stephanie S. reports that this was actually labeled "Mummy Cake". As opposed to "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

And the award for "Least Effort Exerted in Making Overstocked Cakes into Halloween Cakes" goes to:


Like you, I thought that surely this design (found by Amy W.) was a one-store fluke. But then I got this from Jessica K.:

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Still, I don't think any of those Wrecks can compete with what Michael G. uncovered:

Words fail me. The stringy white stuff, the eyeballs, the two fingers...yep, I got nuthin'. Y'all will have to help me out here: what the heck is this? My best guess is a melted mummy, but I'm sure you guys can come up with something better.

« Sunday Sweets: Cupcakes! | Main | Andrew Zimmern Interview »

Reader Comments (127)

I love #3 if you're presenting it to someone who just had plastic surgery!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Ack! Those foil wrapped eyeballs freak me out. I just know someone is going to bit into one and have some tooth trauma...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

Kermit the Frog attacked by Killer Shaving Cream.
Seriously, when I was a kid,the big fear on Halloween was to be sprayed with Nair. So maybe it is Kermit sprayed with Nair...except frogs don't have hair...OK I give up.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShari

umm, Witch shaving gone bad?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCheryl

Wow - you know that the green thing (for lack of a better word) is truly awful when you didn't even mention that it's a CCC! Well, at least they managed in making it terrifying for Halloween?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNequam

The first Wreck reminds me of a commercial from a few years back where a smiling Mr. Clean appeared in various household surfaces and talked to housewives.

It was on TV. Really, it was.

*goes off to eat Halloween candy*

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

A mummy try to claw its way out of its wrappings?? (It managed to wriggle the hands up close to the face, while still under the bandages.)

Don't forget to note that it's a dreaded (and dreadful) CCC.

-Cindy-

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like the mutant crossbreed of a stormtrooper and a ninja turtle best. XD Cheer up, green guy, you're on Cake Wrecks!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKenya Starflight

That last one is Oscar the Grouch in a mummy costume. (Jeez anyone can see that!)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjeandavee

It's the sad, bandagey aftermath of Frankenstein's monster's clash with a mummy. The monster thought he was tough, and that his size would be enough, but the mummy and his ancient ways overpowered the monster. ;)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And to add insult to injury, the last one is a CCC as well!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKameron

THAT COOKIE TOTALLY LOOKS LIKE A OOPS! THAT WAS TURNED INTO A KIND OF CUTE MUMMY. I CAN'T CALL IT A WRECK.

...THAT NINJA TURTLISH THING, ON THE OTHER HAND, IS A WHOLE OTHER STORY...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertony a.k.a. isweatbutter

Those mummified stock cakes would have looked so much better if they put some effort into it! But seriously, a few strands of white and they call it a mummified cake? Lame!

Last one; looks like someone tried to defeat the mummy by unwrapping it?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKilroy!

The green "mummy" looks an awful lot like "Eddie" the mascot of the metal band Iron Maiden.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbrad

Well, obviously that last one is an alien that got TP'd, so now it's giving the decorator the finger - twice! And rightly os, I say :-)

Zita from Halifax

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The green thing is obviously Oscar the Grouch caught in a Spiderweb.

my name? Boo to Yoo

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it was supposed to be some sort of mummy. I didn't ask the baker because I was afraid they'd know I was going to send it to Cake Wrecks LOL

I went back to purchase it for my Halloween party tonight (at a different store) but sadly they didn't have any in stock.

I love that they added those fingers. Very creepy. I suppose it qualifies quite well as a Halloween cake (even though it's a CCC)!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM K Glass

The last cake - the horrid, smushed, green CCC - can only be one thing.

Yep.

It's the remnants of Slimer from Ghostbusters after a run in with the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man (or whatever the heck he was called.) The scary traumatized eyeballs, the splatter of white goo, yep, I can see it now...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBarb

Maybe that one should be called "Cake Decorator's First Day."

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Was that green one a ninja turtle or something?!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKirsten

I think I would call that last one "Frankenstein's Mummy" The fingers are replacing the bolts on his neck, of course.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkati

LOL! I'd say the last one is a mutant love child of a mummy and the wicked witch of the west. Great post as usual!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAthy

Clearly the last one is supposed to be a green snot monster. He's been splattered onto the cake as if picked and flung away, landing on the cake. The stringy white stuff? Maybe he's been sick!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlolanie

Hey!
I saw the green mummy slightly better done at the same place I found the rasta spiders (they were delicious BTW).

Is there some book that the stores have that they share called "Bad Cakes - how to decorate them?"

Tina

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSnup

I vote that it's some sort of mummy frankenstein monster...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaki

I think that last one is Cthulhu.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

The last one kind of looks like it maybe might could have been an attempt at a mummified Frankenstein's Monster. But, that's all I got. I have no explanation for the fingers.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSoggy Carrot

Oscar the Grouch caught in a spider's web and visibly terrified by the experience. Sad, really.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCiara

That last one looks like Slimer from Ghostbusters after he tried to go through the Marshmallow Puff man!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmber

Did anyone notice that the last one, the freaky green mummy was a CCC???

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGinny

It was only a matter of time before a Storm Trooper and a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle realised they were meant for each other.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMs Unreliable

I know exactly what that last ccc is. It's little Johnny (dressed as Frankenstein) who got into Dad's shaving cream again.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJill

I know what the last one is...

Ya know how Frogger goes "splat" when he gets run over because you're a dolt and misjudged while playing the game? Yeah, it's that; and the bulged eyes back up a flattened Frogger. But then, the local road commission came along and painted new lines on the road, but didn't bother to move the roadkill Frogger first. They just painted the lines over him.

The fingers.... yeah, those are of somebody from the Chinese restraunt in New York state that got shut down for serving roadkill. They were trying to pick up roadkill Frogger to serve him in the stir fry.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I think you're being a little harsh. After all, with #1, it really was nice for the decorator to let her 2-year-old experiment with frosting finger painting. It's kind of a warm fuzzy cake, what with all the family involvement in its creation.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterC. Beth

We just had a birthday party at work, and of course there was a hideous pumpkin CCC. I was sad that I have no camera to document it. Then I took a closer look. It wasn't actually cupcakes. IT WAS BROWNIES! It was a Brownie Cupcake Cake! And the brownies were stuck to the board with icing. So now I have a little cupcake-shaped brownie that has icing on the top and the bottom.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBlonde Savant

i think that's what you call a I'm-Supposed-To-Decorate-Twenty-Cakes-A-Day-And-This-Is-The-Last-One-And-I'm-Just-Going-To-Use-All-The-Leftover-Shit-That-I've-Been-Using-All-Day-Long cake.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohn

The CCC mummy looks like the E.T. cake from a while back!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I find the green eye/finger cake delightfully bizarre. I think he looks horrified at his finger situation. Did he just lose the others? Are they someone else's fingers... that landed on him? Is he confused because they just sprouted out of his side? The poor thing.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

wow...if you're trying to scare me on halloween you have definately succeeded!!! these have to be some of the most disturbing cakes we've seen all week...I had to cover my 2 year olds eyes!!!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

Maybe it's because I'm hungry and haven't eaten breakfast yet, but I actually LIKE all but the last three! Except what's the thing in the bottom right of the first cookie? It looks like a can of spray paint...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkate

Green Oobleck got into the halloween costume bucket? Maybe? Happy Halloween Cakewrecks!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

My 8 year old just walked up and said "Wow. That's a blob of a cake, isn't it?" (Referring to the last one.)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's a two fingered mutant green alien who's been silly stringed into wide eyed hysterics.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersarah

I think the last cake is a nuclear zombie!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiffster

Ugly or not, I want to eat that giant cookie. With a quart of milk and a ridiculously large napkin. If anything, it will put it out of its apparent misery.

Wait... someone used SugarVeil on that last one and made it look like THAT? I'd have thought that anyone with sugar veil would at least have talent. *Sigh*

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

{sniff} How appropriate! I just stayed up the last two nights until two stitching together bandages on a shirt (and hat & pants) to satisfy my daughter's requirement to be a mummy! (Please hold all bad planning & underestimating time commitments thoughts & comments. I spent every other half-hour kicking myself for same)

Anyway, these beauties have broken through my sleep-deprived haze (no small task) and have given me new hope (lessness) for Halloween! Thank you!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterharmzie

Hmm... I think it's someone's twin growing out of the web between that person's gangrenous index and middle fingers :)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterManggy

Hmm, I think maybe it's a rabid witch who is clawing her way out of her grave before she's choked to death (by what, I don't know. Maybe one of Rasta Spiders or something!)

(I hope this didn't post three times! I keep getting directed to enter a security code, even though I KNOW I typed it correctly each time!)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissy

The last one? So simple I can't believe you didn't see it right away. It is the deformed love child of the Mummy and Frankenstein's Monster.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>