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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Apr202012

Cake Wrecks Gets the Munchies

"Dude! Did you know that today is, like, International Pot Day?"

"Whoa, righteous! But...I thought that was every day."

"Well, sure, for hoopy froods like us, but today it's, like, totally legal and stuff!"*

"No way!"

"Way!"

"Dude. Wait'll we tell the boss."

 

[Later]

 

"Ok, check it: The mighty Zorro, being stalked by a giant Mars rock, faces off against the evil Christmas present of Doom!"

"Da... na... naaaah!"

 

"Awwwwesome. And look: It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...Pooperman!"

"Haha! Naasty!" [high-fiving]

"Uh-oh, dude... I think I got some food coloring up my no...

AAAAAPLOOOIEEE!!"

"Oops. Aw, man... that's not right.

[looking at cake]

We should name it."

"Ooh, I got this! Wait. Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwaitwait. We should call it...um...

"What were we talking about?"

 

"Chad! Todd! How are those animal cakes coming back there? We've got a cupcake cake quota to fill!"

"Uh...We'll get right on it, Mr. Nerfburgler!"

[whispering] "Dude. I just realized: Mr. Nerfburgler's name...IS MR. NERFBURGLER."

"BWAHHAHAHAHAA!"

[Four hours later]

"Ok. Check it out. I made a giraffe:"

"Gnarly."

 

"And here's my totally righteous seagull!"

"Compadré, you inspire me."

 

"And, dude, how do you like my two-headed Decepticon?"

[gasping] "With the laser-guided scorpion tail and optional water-mode inflatables?!"

"OF COURSE."

"I am, like, SO not worthy."

"Ah, but that's nothing, my good dude. Are you ready for the best cake OF. ALL. TIME?!

 

"Preeeeesenting: Donatello, of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

"After a Shredder shredding, of course"

"Whoa!"

"Yeah!"

"Whoa!"

"Yeah!"

[pause]

"Dude, I am seriously jonesing for some snackage. What say we make some cupcakes for the display case now?"

"So with you, dude."

 

Thanks to Jacquie B., Moriah V., Amber, Sarah L., Adrienne K., Tracy M., Casey L., and Caryol B., who all know that it is definitely NOT legal to do drugs today or any day, and that most of what we post here on Cake Wrecks probably was NOT made by stoners. Which, if you think about it, is actually a lot MORE disturbing.

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Reader Comments (114)

So I am reading this post and giggling through the whole thing. Until I got to the Mountain Dew and Dorito cupcakes.
*pause*

That's going to haunt me all day.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Dude, like, AWEsome!

I cannot believe I heard that whole post in absolute 'dude speak'. You have totally, like, corrupted me. You've got the rhythm, the vibe, the toast.

Smoke on, Jen!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDi

I don't know about Donatello; I think that might be Puff the Magic Dragon.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

totally awesome dialogue, dude!

I was like, totally depressed this morning, so like, way thanks for the chuckle!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterjojo

What Fluffy Cow said.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterliz

They may not have been stoned when they made those cakes, but I bet they may have eaten one or two of the Dew/Dorito cupcakes beforehand. That's a combination that'll fry some brain cells for sure.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJade

Child's Nessie drawing
comes alive, smiles, flicks her tail,
and takes her first whizz.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Giraffe mislabelled.
It's an armadillo with
processed "cheese" slices.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Check it. S can rock
some serious chocolate 'fro.
R and T envy.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

That would explain so much about some of those cakes...

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Gooey Kablooie
on cake three. Repeat: gooey
clean-up on cake three.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.
There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

So, I guess that would explain these cakes.
1. Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the Christmas present when it saw Zorro was, "Oh no, not again."
2. Before Slartibartfast discovered the joy of making fjords, he always marked planets he made with a simple Letter S.
3. Pan Galactic Vomit Blaster
4. Another fine product brought to you by the Nutrimatic cake dispenser -- it's almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a giraffe.
5. Actually, this is a Hooloovoo -- a hyperintelligent shade of the color blue.
6. A rare picture of the elusive nerfburgler.
7. A Vogon, after pulling a poetry writing all-nighter.
8. The cupcake equivalent of Vogon poetry. On no account should you eat one.

I know I should have done this in Stoner-speak, but I'm not very good at it. Fortunately, I live right outside of Boulder, so I should hear a lot of it today.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Zorro! Behind you!
The Invisible Swordsman
And his Rock O' Mars!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

There are some really odd people in the world. I think I'll stay home today...

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCC

Righteous seagull takes
vows of poverty, silence.
Chastity? No prob.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

In my mind the whole post sounded like Keanu Reeves in "Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure"

"Be excellent to each other and..."

Cake on DUDES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterScifimom

I am scared for mankind

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPaula B

It was really funny up till the Mountain Dew Dorrito cupcakes. Then it was just gag city. WTF people. How high do you have to be before you think THAT'S a good idea? blarf!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

Leg demarcation
over-rated. Don't despair,
Mutant green bear rug.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

Anyone else notice, the " giraffe" is competing with Pooperman?

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

I. laughed. so. hard.

Thank you. (Today and everyday.)

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatrina

Endless combos here!
Red Bull and Mustard Pretzels?
Root Beer and Wrigley's?

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

You know, I showed the last one to a couple of guys at work, and they all want to try the mountain dew and Doritos cupcakes. What can I say? I work with computer geeks and white hat hackers! ...I've been told that, yes, this shall be our company food for it is Mountain Dew, Doritos, and cupcakes!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsabella

Only fair to have a "pot" day, since recently there were two "pan" days....

@Sharyn....lol...as always....
@haiku joy....workin' overtime today! thanks...

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermel

Look what you did, you sent Haiku Joy into overload!
I was chuckling away until the last cupcakes too, and just thinking,' ooh they look ni.........'.then I saw the word Dorito. You'd have to be on some serious self-medication to think that was a good idea.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarolineB

Dude-speak totally
rocks my world. Dude cakes? Brother,
you're wrecking my buzz....

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

How appropriate that you would write this post on 4/20 (which is also my birthday!)

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBirthday Girl

@ Sharyn - LOVE the Hitchhiker's take on this!
@ scifimom - YES! I knew the voice in my head was familiar! Thanks ;)

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBubbe

Is it wrong that I want to try the Mountain Dew & Dorito cupcake now?

And also, Haiku Joy, you slay me! :)

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H

For me the voiceover was a toss between Keanu and Alex in "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" and Ashton and Sean in "Dude, Where's My Car?"...

I kept expecting the Chinese Food Lady to put in an appearance. "And THEEEEEENNNNNN?"

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

the sad part is that the Dew/Dorito cupcakes are in a display case with a sign that makes me think they're from one of the "gourmet cupcake" shops that are all the rage now. Plus they probably cost $4-$6 apiece! Just goes to show that there's no accounting for taste (or lack thereof).

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Sharyn's H2G2 ftw!!

I would totally try a Doritos & Mountain Dew cupcake.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertoasty

Hello everybodeeeeeeeee! Yes, it is I, *Sup*-er Grover! Protector of small children and bunny rabbits! Today, I shall be playing my faaaaaaavor-ite character, The Hunchback of Notre Dame (emphasis on the HUNCH)!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

Thank you Haiku Joy for the bonus haiku. Joy!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Haiku Joy on a roll
But are you sure that's not a
Roadkill iguana?

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternepetacataria

I heard Bill & Ted the whole way through! Excellent verbiage, Jen!

Smoke on...but don't inhale.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

I can hardly wait to see what you're going to do for Towel day now! Cos EVERY hoopy Frood knows where his or her towel is at any time.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJamie JO

@mel -- I can't BELIEVE you made that pun -- and am SO jealous I didn't think of it first. Bravo!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I think maybe the seagull looks at least as much like Grover.... Whoops. I see SuzieQ beat me to it.

I'm sure my closest neighbor in the cube farm was wondering what I was laughing at, but became concerned at the gagging noises when I hit the last ones. You did that on purpose, didn't you?

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelissa

I did not realize the voice in my head as I read this post was Bill and Ted until I got to the third "dude." When I was a kid, I though the movies were awesome, but now, watching them as an adult, I wonder if they were on pot the whole time, or maybe the producers were.

And, Sharyn, YES!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim C

@Sharyn: I much prefer Hitchhiker's Guide-speak to dude-speak.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEssJayTee

It's like you're in my head!
First with the lovely HHGG reference. high five.
Second with all the "Dude". I say "dude" way to much to not be a surfer. But I work with surfers, so it's okay.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterredd

Oh My Gaaaawwwd, I like totally heard Jeff Spicolli in my head!
HaikuJoy - you make it look so easy. Sharyn - brava for the "Hitchhiker's" take.
And just how stoned do you have to be to think Mountain Dew & Doritos should be on a cupcake?

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbmbagain803

Happy Birthday, Birthday Girl! And as repulsed as I am by the Mt. Dew and Dorito cupcakes, I now have to go home and make one just to see how it tastes. Next culinary project: The Alka Seltzer/Pepto cupcake, rolled in aspirin.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRamey

What is wrong with these people? No, really.

Zorro, in the lush rainforests of the frozen Mars tundra, battling the gang of evil Christmas presents.

A poo swirl in an avalanche.

I think I see a pink/red seahorse. Also, ew.

I think the giraffe's head exploded.

It's a purple chicken. I definitely see a drumstick in there. I think the neck is still attached on the left there. But this chicken has a shark fin on top and Grover's head where his other drumstick should be.

Is that some kind of mutant rubber ducky Hydra? A life raft? Is it someone wearing a yellow airline floatation device due to a water "landing"? I know the airlines are struggling financially, but is it really wise to have a five year old make your in flight safety video?

How do you know it's Donatello without his purple mask or his, uh, staff thingy? (It's a technical term)

They made all those cupcakes with just one Dorito? Now that is talent, people.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Today is my Birthday...I just hope I don't get a cake that looks like any of these!

I remember several years ago asking my then 17 yr old nephew if he knew what day it was. "Oh yea", he says. I'm waiting for "Happy Birthday Aunt Marion!" Instead I get "It's pot smoking day!" First time I had ever that! Rock on dudes!

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarion

Your use of hoopy frood is why I read this blog, the end.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertalula0658

Dude!
Totally awesome post today. It was RIGHTEOUS! You so like, NAILED it!
Way!

Thanks Jen - you make me laugh so much! <3

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkrunchifrog

@ GrnEyes6, speaking my koine.

Which, by the bye, is a Word of the Day.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@ Sharyn,

Phreeow! I'm such a strag; never could I have written such a hoopy comment as yours. You certainly know where your towel is.

April 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

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