John here with a wrecky collage of cakes which are “near and dear” to my heart: sports cakes.
I like to think one of the reasons Jen was first attracted to me (besides my devastating, Kiefer-Sutherland-before-he-got-too-skinny-on-24 good looks*, of course) is my natural affinity for sports. Sure, I don't like to watch them much, or talk about them, or really play any, but I am way more knowledgeable on the subject than Jen is. (Granted, Jen thinks 4D chess deserves its own Olympic category, so that's not saying much, but still...)
Anyway, I've been asked to shed a little testosterone-fueled light on some of these here basketball cakes. Here goes.
The first thing to know is that the ball is round. Like so:
This baker solved the round problem with a classic "spinning rug of poo on a bed of scrapple" approach:
(Oh, and this is probably a good place to mention that it’s never a good idea to change tips and/or Wreckerators mid-cake. Nobody likes mismatched balls.)
Next we have the ever popular basketball-flower-with-an-obligatory-face cake:
And if so, what kind of occasion calls for a nauseous basketball, anyway?
At least this last one looks happy, if a bit demented.
So in conclusion, sports are an inspiring blah blah blah full of life lessons blah blah blah, funny joke that showcases my wit and charm... blah blah.
Jessica S., Hallie S., Tara M., Erin K., and Ann Marie W., try to contain yourselves, please; I'm happily married**.
- Related Wreckage: Have a Ball!
* Jen wrote that, not me. (I would have gone with a Matt Damon/Brad Pitt mash-up.)
**And by "happily" I mean "ecstatically overjoyed with every passing day" - er, did I get that right, Sweetie?