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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul162009

Hello, Kitty?

Hello Kitty is the epitome of all things cute, to an almost nauseating degree:

However, put her in the hands of these bakers and she becomes a puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem:


This next one is deceptively nice, other than the RSS-icon hair bow...

...but then you realize that massive domed face is ALL icing, slathered onto a...a....[swallowing] CUPCAKE CAKE!! [blood-curdling scream]

I think this next baker tried to make a Hello Kitty vampire, but since HK has no mouth it turned out a little...odd.

Transplanted walrus tusks, or dangling fingers? I suppose either works on the cracked black background. Oh, and maybe this is just me, but I find that a vampire who waves totally loses all "cool" credibility. Seriously. Can you picture Dracula waving? Of course not. It's just not dignified.

Now, if you want a creepy Hello Kitty done right, you do what Bonefinder did:

Zombie Hello Kitty - excellent!

And lastly, Julie M. found out the hard way that her local bakery either has no idea who Hello Kitty is, or believes she is Porky Pig's sister:

Yes, that's really supposed to be Hello Kitty. Wow.

Hey Ayana W., Holly U., Kelly H., and Matthew Z., what do you get when you combine Hello Kitty & Darth Vader?

Answer: Something that horrifies every Star Wars fan in existence:


Everyone can relax; it's Photoshopped. For legitimate HK insanity, though, check out Hello Kitty Hell. It's funny stuff, although I'd be lying if I said I didn't think a lot of the stuff on there is adorable. (Look at these water bottles and tell me they're not just the cutest - go on.)

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Reader Comments (120)

The Zombie Kitty cake is pretty terrific.

Does that last cake's inscription read, "Yoo shore doo have a purty mouth"??

For some reason, Vampire Kitty is oddly appealing. I'd have wanted the fangs a tad more pointy, but still....

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Wow.
I can hardly keep a straight face when passing a neighbor's car with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Now I better cross to the other side of the street when I pass it because I'll be cracking up imagining one of these plastered on her hood.

Word verification: tyllu, as in I tyllu some of these don't look a thing like Hello Kitty.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Love the zombie....

Wonder how you screw it up. SHe is basically a circle with two triangles at 10 and 2 (like your driving hands ppl) a yellow circle nose...black dot eyes and some whiskers....how do you screw that up? SRSLY?

Okay...so I love the Hello Vader!

Um......btw....I saw a very KEWL looking biker in full atire (female) on a Harley....looking tough with all her tats and she went past and I saw a HELLO KITTY BACKPACK on her back. Just not right, I almost wrecked and died.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

Zombie Hello Kitty is awesome. I've always said that if I were gonna kill an adorable cartoon... well you know the rest.

myolderbrothes.blogspot.com

That Darth Vader is stinkin' hilarious.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

That last one... kitty is bleeding from the mouth? Meow!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

HK zombie cake ftw! That was excellent.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Zombie Hello Kitty = awesome cake! Why can't the others look as good as that one?

And "puff-faced gerbil with a glandular problem" made my morning.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfaradayflux

WV: bustswar.... I ordered a Hello Kitty cake bustswar at the wreckorator when I saw the finished product.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

I think the pig one confused Hello Kitty with Miss Piggy.
Btw, there is a hilarious site called kittyhell that I love. It's a blog by a guy whose wife is a HK fanatic.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelle

How did you add the "Digg This" widget to your blog?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

The bottled water in the female torso shapped bottles is kinda creepy. Of course the outfits on the labels are cute as can be. But drinking water out of headless female forms is a little too creepy for me.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

In the one with the hair box that you say looks like an RSS fee logo for some reason I see nothing but the word "God". Maybe they are trying to elevate the status of "Hello Kitty"

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAaron'sMommy

That zombie kitty is awesome!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter:::b r a n d i:::

And you didn't post the Hello Kitty wedding cake????

http://www.kittyhell.com/2008/01/12/hello-kitty-wedding-cake/

WV:Fally - When someone gets a "Fail" for spelling "Fail"

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Are you sure that first one wasn't supposed to be Ms. PacMan?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The blank stare! THE BLANK STARE! So emotionless and cold!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter*MagPie*

It almost looks like "Helio Kitty" on that headstone...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, I do kinda like the vampire one. It's not really that bad.......

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterct114

Marshmellow Hello Kitty kind of looks like JigglyPuff (you know... the stay puft marshmellow man version of a pokemon?)

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

It is a travesty for such ugliness to be put out there in the world! Psht!

I have worshiped the zombie HK cake for years now, but have yet to get one! I did get the tattoo though...it even made the pages of the Hello Kitty Hell blog! YAY ME!!!!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter'Cuz I Felt Like It!

WHEN WILL THE CCC MADNESS END????

Crazy, just crazy I tell ya.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci

When I saw that the second one was a CCC (blech!), my teeth started hurting from all of that icing that is domed up on them - the icing to cake ratio must be 100:1!

The vampire one would have been cuter if the teeth were smaller and didn't look like bleeding fingers... I kind of like the cracked black background - you think Dracula would have a pretty background!?!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Awwww...totally cute. Hello Kitty doesn't get obnoxious for me, like all the other TM's eventually do...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBelle Epoque

I think the zombie kitty is done very nicely....not really a wreck as far as technique goes. Thanks for the daily laughs Jen!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCake Believe

Not only is the second one a CCC, The ones in the corners (A CCC shouldn't have corners anyway) are on their side...That's just such a terrible idea. Do people not realize this when they are making them, or ordering them?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKris

OMG, I no longer feel bad about the less-than-steady piping job I did on the Hello Kitty cake I made for my daughter's birthday. Upon melting the chocolate to make the lines, I realized I didn't have a suitable attachment for my piping bag. I improvised by using a medicine syringe (without a needle). All things considered, I think my cake turned out really well. Wish I had some pictures online.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Here is the link for the REAL AND ORIGINAL ZOMBIE CAKE: http://www.flickr.com/photos/debbiedoescakesnet/2659373222/in/set-72157613990914599/

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I will never understand the obsession with Hello Kitty...particularly with girls who are over the age of ten.

Those cakes are pretty hilarious.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I dunno, the water bottles aren't TOO bad.

On the other hand there are these:
http://www.kittyhell.com/2007/12/26/hello-kitty-contacts/

which are so wrong on so many levels

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEvalis

For Hello Kitty cupcakes done right (not the dreaded CCC!) check out: http://justjennrecipes.com/hello-kitty-fondant-how-to/2009/07/07/

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hello Kitty, what have they done to you??!!!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Dood! I want the zombie Hello Kitty as my next birthday cake. Alas, since I bake my own cakes and have NO talent whatsoever for decorating, I guess I'll just have to dream.

The rest of these are total nightmares...especially the Porky Pig one.

BTW, Hello Kitty weddings are popular in Asia. I've seen video evidence on YouTube, and it scares me.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTwistie

The graveyard, dead HK makes me laugh.
~Amy B.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

that zombie one is amazing, I am not going to lie.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan the Muse

like Vader's head didn't already look like a penis...

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

@anonymous at 11:31
What is your problem? Why all the hate?
How rude.

Jen, you don't have to post "mean spirited remarks" like that.

Excellent post! Bizarre, HK should be so easy.

Alex

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Did you know that in Japan (the home of Hello Kitty) you can purchase a Hello Kitty vibrator?

Wrap your mind around that one.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarji

The HK water bottles were cute, but I really liked the HK taser gun. Now I want a CCC in the shape of a HK taser gun. With fangs. Yeah.

And anyway, everyone knows Batz Maru rulz.

wv: creake - that could mean so many things here!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterYvonne Rathbone

Absolutely dying with laughter over Hello Vadar. Absolutely Hysterical!!! Thanks so much for that laugh.

I love the Zombie Hello Kitty. Very well done. Perfect balance of creepy and cute. I'm sure it made someone's Halloween.

Mutant Puffed-Face Gerbil had me in stitches too. If you hadn't told me what it was, I would have never guessed.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I really like the vampire one (I have a thing for vampires!) The zombie is amazing and I almost fell out of my chair at the HK Darth Vadar. I know it is PS, but the sad thing is that I can actually see someone doing that!

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLLM5326

Luke, I am your....gay uncle?

And I totally love the Hello Zombie. Fantastical.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergrimperspective

The Zombie Hello Kitty Looks like Frankenstein's Monster. The rest of them just look insane. And how do you NOT know who Hello Kitty is?

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust Me,Pilgrim

As a Kitty-chan fan (people say it makes me very easy to shop for *g*), I just cringe while laughing at these. I'm not really sure why it's so difficult; I once received a homemade HK cake and it was adorable. =)

Zombie!Kitty is great! Very clever. Makes up for the horror of Petunia Pig and the crusted over frosting dome horror of the CCC (patooi!) And I'm not even TOUCHING the vampire!Kitty. I've seen it done but this example is quite wreckalicious!

Someone once forwarded me the Hello Vader pic, and the filename was NNNNOOOOOO.jpg XD

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa (& Billy)

You know, that vampire kitty looks kind of like a Hello Kitty headcrab zombie. http://blogplog.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/zombie.jpg

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

The Zombie cake is fantastic.
The others made me die a little inside.

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG.H.

i've met hello kitty vader in person at a con. it is most undoubtedly a real thing.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergina

HAHAHA! TEE-HE! OH MY!
How funny!
That made my day!
~Lucia

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLucia

I LOVE this site. I found out about it from Bakerella's blog and I am in love. My hubby too, so there's no jealousy.

Thanks for making my (our) day (s).

BTW: I'm currently taking the Wilton cake decorating classes and I'm applying myself to my studies since I do NOT want to be featured here unless is on the SS section.

July 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRosie

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