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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct312008

Mum's the Word

Wow, I'm almost sad it's Halloween; I have oodles more Halloween Wrecks to share! (So take note, Wreckporters: get your Thanksgiving Wrecks submitted early.)

Let's see, we've covered pumpkins and ghosts and spiders, but I feel like something's missing from our Halloween line up...

OH! I know! This is:


Erm.

Hey, John R.? What'd you say this was again? A mummy? [checking photo again] With a red hair bow? Seriously? Wait - that's a cookie! Does that even count?

Hm, well, let's see what Amanda M. dug up for us.

Amanda thought this was some kind of spiderweb, but my Wreck radar is telling me it was supposed to be a mummy head. It's also alerting me to the fact that this is a dreaded CCC, so we'd best move on.

Ok, here we go: that's actually recognizable. Kudos, Annie D.; I bet you never thought this would be the best looking one, huh? Still, I include it as a base of reference for this next one:


Yep, Stephanie S. reports that this was actually labeled "Mummy Cake". As opposed to "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake".

And the award for "Least Effort Exerted in Making Overstocked Cakes into Halloween Cakes" goes to:


Like you, I thought that surely this design (found by Amy W.) was a one-store fluke. But then I got this from Jessica K.:

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Still, I don't think any of those Wrecks can compete with what Michael G. uncovered:

Words fail me. The stringy white stuff, the eyeballs, the two fingers...yep, I got nuthin'. Y'all will have to help me out here: what the heck is this? My best guess is a melted mummy, but I'm sure you guys can come up with something better.

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Reader Comments (127)

The second one reminds me of Dark Heart from the Care Bears movie!! Wow. I don't even have kids I can blame that knowledge on. Oh well!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

I believe the smiley face mummy cake #2 has its sides covered in halloween quins, not nuts. I'm not sure which is weirder.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarl

The last one is the result of Slimer taking on the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal Chick

Since when do mummies have yellow smiling happy faces?
~Amy B.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

a mutant lettuce facing a worm attack ?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertravelingchicken

Kermit the Frog lands face-first in a spider web... where two green slugs have already been caught. And the poor slugs are screaming for their little slimy lives (hence their big gaping mouths). Kermit is so horrified his eyes bug out. It all makes perfect sense, people. (Given the spider cakes we saw the other day, I'd be terrified, too).

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHolly

I think the Incredible Hulk finally got so mad he exploded in that last one!

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com
http://crochetbymommaj.blogspot.com/

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

I actually thought, "You know, that kinda looks like a TMNT and a storm trooper" before I read your caption. I don't know if that scares me or makes me proud.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoy

I'm pretty sure the last one is Our Noodly Savior, the http://www.venganza.org/" REL="nofollow">Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Or maybe it's supposed to represent an explosion at a factory that makes shaving cream and guacamole. Either one, really.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterarensb

What's really scary is that I think #3 is actually a left over Easter egg cake base! Looks like they found a spare box of them in the back corner of the freezer.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

You always put the best thing in the last. *mad giggle*

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShadow Shaivya

Think the TMNT/Stormtrooper is actually an attempt to recreate Jonathan The Zombie of youtube fame, who, when asked what he thinks about zombies, replied, "I like turtles!"

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ectoplasm covered in silly string.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRox

Oh my golly, your blog is so much fun! Thank you! :)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy©

These seriously made me laugh out loud. Too funny. I think that last one might have been Frankenstein losing control of the silly string can.
-Summer

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLilBit

I thought the first one was a cat...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTori H.

Here's my critique:

1) Looks like a smear of black mold icing on a giant cookie. Not appetizing or remotely buyable.

2) Melted marshmallow pile

3) Finally a cake with style - even if it's one only a mummy could love. (hehehe)

4) Oscar the Grouch?

5 & 6) Bandaged smiley face cakes? Not Halloweeny at all.

7) Green face with run away Crest toothpaste accents.

Number three is the hands down winner for best wreck - unless of course we are voting for the worst wreck. Then it's a six-way tie.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

my 5 year old son suggested that green thing is a "buggy man" while my 4 year old daughter suggests that it is a "birthday cake bat" (she's currently a bit obsessed with bats).

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commentererin

The green thing under the mummy-smileys could very well be the "Flying Spahetti Monster".

http://www.venganza.org/

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRamen

Sinking swamp creton reaching for... a web of Cool Whip rope?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSnigger Fam

Wow -- I made it on Cake Wrecks! I'm so excited! I can't believe they made the smiley mummy face at other stores, too! I will never shop the bakery section in the same way again. I will always have my camera phone at the ready now!!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlabdogs42

I can't tell you how dissapointed I am in my local grocery. Every week I scan the cake shelves for a wreck and I get nothing. I did find those dreadlocked muppet spiders but they all looked more cute than wreck. *sigh* At least I know I can count on you to get me my daily cup o' wreck.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMy Ice Cream Diary

It's the Wicked Witch of the West, bandaged up after her whole Dorthy-induced 'I'm melting!' episode. She had a Chinese finger trap on at the time of said melting, keeping just those two fingers dry (and whole). The eyes are new; tinfoil transplants, maybe?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy.mangos

2 fingers... that should be for tequila, not cake.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I was about to type that I kind of like the last one, but then I remembered that this is supposed to be presented as something one would EAT. So I kind of like the last one as artwork, but I would have to pretend I'd just come from the dentist or something if someone offered me any part of it.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

The last thing is obviously a zombie mummy.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNeb

My little girl thinks the smiley faces walked through a spiderweb.
She has no idea what the last one is. And why does it have 2 different colored eyes? and so many other why's?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDani

I can't believe I have to correct you on this, but it's pronounced "Wreck-dar."

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat

I think I know what the last one is... A partially regurgitated alien mummy. And it's a dreaded CCC to boot :)

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTara MacDonald

hm.... interesting for the lack of a better word.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSavvy Mode SG

Maybe those aren't fingers in that last one. Maybe they're mandibles.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpepperjackcandy

The last one is the remains of the wicked witch of the west after she melted.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLatitude

I know what #7 is!


Freaking AWFUL!

Happy Halloween. Thanks for the laugh!~ I am encouraged that even my worst cake ever is better than these!!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMaire

Oh come on you had 2 chances for awesome puns. You could have used the term "Wreck-dar" and "what the wreck?". Still, I don't know how these cake Wreckorators can sleep at night.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKrazyKapnKarl

Ack! The smiley face mummies are everywhere! And they're surrounded by nuts!

Wielding cameras, no less.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwarren

My first thought on the "Ticked-Off Cross-Breed of a Storm-Trooper and a Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtle Cake" was: Angry Cabbage?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterConglomerateBeauty

It's a puddle of toxic goo! Actually,that may have been what the puddle looked like after the Wicked Witch of the West melted....

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelesa

the last one looks like Kermit coming out of a not-so top-notch ER after making one joke too many about Miss Piggy's weight

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterphillygirl64

the last one is OBVIOUSLY an alien who got in a silly string fight.

*mutters* shaving cream? hah...shaving cream is fluffier.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaneen

Oh, I don't know how I could love Cake Wrecks more. Please, please never leave us--I've held too many jobs in bakeries with ugly cakes to be denied this blog.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin @ Sprouted

Maybe the smiley face mummies are from Wal*Mart, the logo and all?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina M

My 7 year old said Frankenstein (well, the monster, really for the book geeks out there) covered in bandages. I just said "yuck!"

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

I asked my 5 year-old about the first one, "What does that look like?" He said, "A blueberry pie!"
I too, noticed that the last one is a CCC.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlawnajo

That last one: Oscar the Grouch having a shaving cream accident (due to the unfortunate loss of all but 2 fingers).

The smiley face mummy cake? That's just bizarre.

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Winner, Brad! I think that is Eddie from Iron Maiden!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one, the green thing, is so incredibly obvious!! It is the Wicket Witch of the West from the Wizard of Oz just as she was almost all melted. Remember: "I'm melting! I'm melting", and she was green, right? That has to be it...

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGaston

That last mummy is so jealous of the good looking mummy that he's gone all green as he flips him the double-bird.

Pissed off storm trooper/ninja turtle crossbreed... classic!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

The 4th one down actually looks like an attempt at the Iron Maiden mascot, "Eddie," who's sort of a mummified dude...those look like his eyes...but those "bandaged" smiley faces are soooooo bad!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNorma

My goodness.
...
I have nothing to say to that.
Wow.
-Deb
PS: My verification was "inthe!" We have achieved real words!!!

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! Ummm, let's see: A possessed lime covered with maggots? Or a toilet-papered green jello monster?

October 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

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