My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

A Barry Booty-full Cake

I've often said I want to be just like Dave Barry, only with ovaries. And as much as that statement may disturb my husband, the sentiment remains: DB is one of those writers who inspires stalker-like affection from yours truly. So, when Wreckporter Joyce W. alerted me to Dave's latest blog entry containing - oh yes - a cake, I put away my telephoto zoom lenses and super-spy microphones to do a little happy dance. Because this isn't just any cake: it's a wreckalicious confection rife with pun possibilities - or in other words, my favorite kind.

Behold the Behind!

According to Dave, this was for his son's birthday. According to this cake, Dave's son is something of an 'A' man, if ya knowuddamean. (And if not, don't ask.) Dave's readers seem to share my penchant for puns, too: the comments include cracks (oh! that one was unintentional!) about butt-cream frosting and speculation over whether the cake was Duncan Hiney, Betty Cracker, or perhaps purchased at Derriere Queen.

Personally, I'm kind of curious about the librarian heels, Monica Lewinsky hair, and anatomically impossible angle of the right ankle. I mean, I know strippers are supposed to be flexible, but rotating a knee cap 180 degrees? That's gotta be a rare talent.

What say you, readers? Do we give the buns a bum rap, or is all well that ends well in the end?

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Reader Comments (113)

Now that's classy!!

There really is no accounting for good taste!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Wade's

I can't comment on the cake because all I can think about is Dave Barry has a blog?!!

But I think Drum said it best in Steel Magnolias, "There's nothin' like a good piece of ass"

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I'm still wondering about the strange bulge in the left thigh...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterad

If you're like me, with bad knees, you can do that with your feet. Of course, bad knees keep me from doing all those other stripper things, but cest la vie!

I'm wondering what a GOOD stripper cake would look like. Until I see that, I'll have to say that this ain't too bad.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlex

Um... if he's an "A" man... I see no strap or other indicator that she's wearing anything to cover "B".

And yes, flexibility (of ankles or other areas) is a must in scantily clad, butt cake models!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeilingM

I share the joy and laughter of Cake Wrecks with my kids, so: No, I don't like this post.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlois

I stand behind this cake 100%! If you ass me, some people will rear their ugly heads and butt in with their own crack comments. It bums me out to no end, as I am a big fanny of your site.

Oh, and think the cake is spank-tacular. Thanks for sharing.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterM K Glass

Am I the only one fairly impressed by the shading of the frosting to mimic shadows that would be created by the natural form of a body? I wonder if the decorator is one of those Hollywood special effects people. Hmm.

And I cringed when you said this was for Dave's son and then I realized that his son might actually be of age and not, oh, say... four.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

ick. I hope he gave the crack to his worst enemy.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterthe rabbi's wife

OH MY FREAKIN HECK!!!--It looks just like my mom!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJustfrosting

I particularly like the oddly angled arm disappearing into the mass of crazy bouffant hair - unless she's a hunchback and severely deformed!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwantkitty2008

I think she needs to have the huge tumor on her right shoulder/back of her head looked at.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That really is a bizzare angle for the foot. There's no way it can do that. And yes, it's wrecktastic!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

As is the norm for A-men, the face is so unimportant that it's reduced to dots for the eyes. Of course the bum is the focal point and you shouldn't be paying attention to her broken right ankle.

I am, I will admit, somewhat impressed that the sculptor attempted perspective, with her top half fading away into the distance.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOphelia

I personally love the swirls on the ....mirror? Oy.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterla-princesa-di

I say, "ew". And, "scary"!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGage Herrmann

Where did her knees go? It looks like her calves go almost all the way up her leg and then straight into her thigh... Yikes!

And I would hate to have been the model for this one... Would I be happy or sad about it? She's just not proportional...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterkiminthekitchen

Maybe the model for the cake was double-jointed? At any rate, if I had to have a piece (excuse me), I'd want it from the back or shoulder..or something.
No matter how hard I try, that just doesn't sound right!
~Amy B

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well, I am trying to get a leg up on this one, and I calf to say, she's a bit wonky.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNatalie

Her calf and thigh are one, and she has no knees. If she's a stripper, it's to supplement her Medicaid.

That's for his son? How old is his son? Is this another "Happy 14th Birthday" repeat?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSolaMommy

I don't want to rump-le anyone's feathers, butt this could get a little hairy and asinine. It's just a great reminder to take life with a little tongue in cheek. I can't believe I just wrote that. Deb

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertrash talk

Naughty cakes make me a little nauseous since I witnessed my father-in-law being forced to lick the icing off a boob cake on his fiftieth birthday. Poor, gentle man...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJane

Hahaha....I've been a little behind in reading and what do I come back to?? The Great Behind!! What a sight to see!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKirstyB

Next time I'm hankering for a piece of a** I'll know where to go. Fann-tastic!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

oh my! I just hope his son is at least 18!!!!!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOlga

That girl's also got a rather painful wedgie there... ouch...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKenya Starflight

I thought it was Betty Boot!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChezza

I am hoping his son is old enough for a cake like this.

Maybe her ankle is broken???

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyla Waldron

Wow. I hadn't even noticed the right foot until you said something. That's just freaky!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael it just the angle, or does it look like Dora the Explorer on top, and J-Lo on the bottom?'s wrecky.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

All caboose jokes aside...did anyone notice that she has cankles? At least on her right ankle.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterawriterswindow

I think my biggest concern would be the green, foggy swirls eminating from this poor cake woman... what on earth did she have for lunch? And will it impact the taste of the cake??


October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

As scarry as the hair is, the leg this is actualy quite easy. Any woman in my family can do it...then again, we're all kinda freeks...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTorra

For the record, as a librarian, I do wear sensible heels. But not usually with just a g-string... at least at work. HA! That cake is just... well, I'm not even sure which part I'd like to eat, if at all.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWinona


You've 'cracked' me up again.
I'm assuming ( ha!! ASSuming.. very punny) that Dave's son is an adult?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmi

Unlike a lot of cakes here, you can at least tell what its TRYING to be, and its still a lot better than creepy super realistic babies :/

I'd have to say let it slide.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDana

Is there a cake decorating school you go to where you learn how to ice thongs? Truly amazing buttercream cheeks!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

Oh dear. Not to mention that even the more "normal" leg is missing the femur! It goes directly from calf to booty. Awkward.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Of all the comments, the one most obvious to me would be asking if someone would "like a piece of a**."

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Ohhh this one had me cackling like a fool! HAHAHAHA!

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbbie

OMG! That is the best - the comments you shared in the post are hilarious! Betty Cracker, Duncan Hiney.....ROFLMAO.

So, if I forward you a pic of a cake wreck can I remain anonymous?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJAMIE'S CREW

... HOW old is this son? O_O

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjen shikami

Does this mean that cutting it was a pain in the ass?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

i think my favorite (and possible most distrubing) part is that she is spewing yellow swirls pig pen style...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just can't help thinking it looks like Holly Hobby: the stripper years...

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Accoring to a 1999 Bio of Dave Barry, Rob had recently gotten his drivers license. It is safe to say that the son is at least 25.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKrysta

Is it just me.. or does she look like a 70's stripper doing the "gettin jiggy with it" dance?

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*Michelle

Woo, they mentioned your blog on Mark & Mercedes this morning in Vegas. The station is Mix 94.1 and the reason was Mercedes ordered a cake for a friend that did not turn out the way it was ordered. ;) I tried to call the blog in but was told several other people had already called it. So you are famous in Vegas.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTeagan Blackthorne

I've tagged you as a favorite blog. If you haven't already been tagged a million times and you'd like to play along, here are the rules.
Thank you so much for the biggest laughs I've had a in a long time. You are a genius comic writer.

October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa Holland

Don't know if you are already aware of this but you are featured on the Very Short List email newsletter today! I subscribe to this newsletter and I was thrilled to see how very cool they think your blog is. Here see for yourself:


October 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

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