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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct092008

What's Better Than a Hockey Wreck?


That's right: a FREE hockey Wreck.

Now, I know nothing about hockey. I would not even know this cake was hockey-related if the word 'hockey' wasn't on there. So I asked my hubby John, and he was only too happy to explain the whole game for me. And you know what? It's actually kind of interesting! So for the benefit of you other non-sports types, here's a quick rundown:

See, apparently they play this sport on ice - but they have to make sure the ice is really thick, or else their cleats will scuff it all up. The players wear lots of padding and helmets, and carry little butterfly nets on sticks with which to hit the ball around. The object of the game is to score a triple Hail Mary - which is just another name for a running slam dunk - and consists of knocking three other players down while simultaneously dunking the ball through one of the red rings. Players known as running backs try to kick the ball, but the other team's catchers use their heads and butterfly nets to deflect the ball away from their side's field goal. Any running backs who are able to push the other team's running backs out of the big circle in the middle get what's called a free throw, in which they're allowed to chuck the ball at the head of their least favorite player. If they miss, their team only scores a half-down, but if the ball hits the other player, they score a hole-in-one.

There was also some stuff about yard lines, birdies, and triple-axles, but I kind of zoned out at that point. Still, I think I just may have to check out a hockey game some day; John tells me every time the pitcher serves a kill-shot, the mascot serves hot chocolate. How cool is that?!?

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Reader Comments (133)

I think the best part about this cake is that it says "AHS Field Hockey" and "Great Season." While, that's a great sentiment for the field hockey team, this is an ice hockey rink. Field Hockey is played on a grass field and has an arc at either end of the field-- no ice or red circles.

Stellar.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbmadd

Calvinball!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

Wow, Jen. Your ability to grasp the complexities of hockey is almost as astonishing as that cake!!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

does that say "field hockey"? if it does, it's even funnier - the totally wrong kind of hockey!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinnea

I think the best part about this wreck is that the cake clearly says "field hockey" but they designed and ice hockey rink. Field hockey is played on what looks a lot like a soccer field. Fail.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

I just love how there's no charge - too funny!

Marianne
www.crochetbymommaj.etsy.com

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrochet by Momma J

OK, someone explain why this is a Wreck, please...

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

Isn't the biggest wreck of all that it says "FIELD Hockey" on the cake though it's clearly an ice rink?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCari

So great!! I love your site! I just wish I had found it sooner. My baby shower cake was NEON pink and bright purple (my friend who ordered it just said "pink" thinking that they would do a nice baby pink since it was obviously a shower cake) and it read [quote]"Congratulations" Mommy-to-Be [end quote](yes, it had quotation marks!). Plus, the neon pink baby booties (slippers, not real booties!) were a hoot too! If I had only known....I would have taken a better picture of it!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Waitaminute...does that say Field Hockey??? Are they playing on blue grass?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpyrajane

It looks like it say AHS Field Hockey... which would make this even more of a wreck. At first I thought, "That's weird, why would it be called AHS Field? Hockey is played in a rink." Then it dawned on me - this cake may have been intended for a field hockey team. Yikes!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEddie

Ah, that makes sense now! Could you explain American Football to me next?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Imaginary Reviewer

Does that say "AHS Field Hockey"? If so that's even more horrific.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I suspect that part of the reason it was free is because it looks like it's supposed to be a field hockey cake, not ice hockey, unless they have a lot of blue fields in that area!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

The best part about this, and probably why it's free... it's for a field hockey team, which as the name implies, is not played on ice at all, but on a... well, a field. The cake should have been green! (and the markings on the ground are all different, too, but... well, there's only so much you can expect from a free cake!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKredal

Since this is Field Hockey and not Ice Hockey, it's played in a field and not on ice. Otherwise, your definition was spot on.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSparty_Cyclone

Here in NY Field Hockey is a game played by girls... on a field. I could see them not charging for a Field Hockey cake that shows an ice rink, when it should have a field on it!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

It seems more like a water ballet arena or a dolphin training pool to me... "Jump through the hoops, Flipper! There's a good porpoise!"

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica Rabbit

That says FIELD hockey, which is played, well, in a field. On grass. Apparently the decorator didn't get the memo that there is more than one sort of hockey and missed the context clue of "Field". Next up: bowling on a shuffle board deck.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHatshepsut Saeed

Field hockey or ice hockey? I ask because I see the word "field" on the cake, yet the blue looks like it is supposed to be ice. Confusing! Definitely a wreck! ;)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

It says field hockey on it too....which is not played on ice. So unless they have been spray painting their field blue there's yet another problem with this disaster lol

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbentomama

Absolutely amazing! This "hockey" of which you speak is so dynamic. I might have to take a closer look as well.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLefty

I *think* this one is a cake for field hockey though... so no ice on that. I think the middle circle there says "AHS|FIELD" with the hockey part underneath. My daughter's on the high school field hockey team.. I've seen a lot of field hockey games.

It's a disaster any way you look at it.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermicala

I think I know why that particular cake was no charge. Ice hockey is played on ice.

But the "AHS FIELD Hockey" team probably played field hockey on a field... of grass (which normally isn't blue).

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKanka

I think all the stuff about ice may not be so applicable. It looks to me that the cake was supposed to celebrate a "great season" for "AHS Field Hockey" but the words were broken up even more strangely than normal. So rather than ice and triple Hail Marys, it probably involved grass and girls in long socks. (Of course, this would make the blue cake inexplicable, so...)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Wow. And I thought I almost had a grasp on hockey rules. The thing that cracks me up the most is the "no charge" post it note. I should hope they didn't charge for a field hocky field that's an ice hockey arena.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Thank you so much for the explanation of hockey! I'd been wondering about how it's played.

Field hockey=green grass not blue ice. Even this native Floridian knows THAT!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSue

After the comments, aren't you glad you weren't assigned this cake?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

If my friend Cece was a cake decorator, and she was asked to decorate a sports cake, this is exactly what that cake would look like. She is sportsually impaired. I'm guessing so was this particular decorator.

Good thing they didn't have to make one for horse racing. Can you just imagine how long it would take them to stuff those horses in those little race cars?

Bwahahaha!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Luckily the sarcasm of your misplaced sports descriptions was not lost on your readers. I'm glad they all explained the difference between field and ice hockey. Anyway, at least this cake was appropriately listed under "Misc Bakery". Good times.

Oh and Kansas girl... I'm up for Calvinball.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRambler

It's obviously field hockey played on blue Astroturf.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Your description of... whatever that was (jigglyball? anyone... bueller?) cracked me up! Classic!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You absolutely make me laugh every morning. Thank you1

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAbbie

As a Canadian, yes...home country of hockey - ICE hockey for those who require clarification (like the baker of this horror show)...I had to laugh and laugh and laugh...oh dear. Some sad folk out there.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLose That Girl

My high school is an AHS with a great field hockey team...

I sure hope this cake was for them. Their coach is a colorblind graphic designer. I'm sure he loved it!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShelli

I worked at a Dairy Queen once and some of the cakes I decorated should have been free. I would say this was a good start to a good cake, but then I would be lying.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhorriblelicenseplates

*wipes tears away* Thanks Jen. I'm sick and hurting pretty badly right now and your commentary on this cake is the first thing that really made me crack a smile in the past two days.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I don't know--field hockey, blue field...Does Boise State have a field hockey team?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDavid B

I guess the decorator really needed Sarah Palin there to explain hockey to him/her.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Seeker

Now, let's just wait a minute here! Maybe this AHS is in Kentucky and everyone knows about high quality Kentucky BLUEgrass. Or perhaps their school's pep band was known for playing bluegrass music during the games and they wanted to give them a tribute as well.

Ah, who am I kidding? They should have paid someone to take the cake out of store so no potential customers could see it! It's simply not enough for it to merely be free.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJRM

Ha ha ha! I didn't get it at first. You see, I am from Boise Idaho, and our football team plays on blue turf!! I just thought it was a really good field hockey team and they got to play on blue turf, too!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterShawna

That sounds like Calvinball!! Only with more rules.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatyBelle

The Boise State reference is FUNNNNNNY. Too bad there are probably only 5 people who read Cakewrecks who know that Boise State has a blue field.

I love this cake. Even without the whole field hockey debacle, the piping/lettering is simply not good enough to pay for. Not even close. And then when you're taking in the wreckitude of the piping and lettering.... you get to soak in the "oh crap it's field hockey" and it just gets wrecky all over again. Classic.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterToni Marie

Yikes! I never thought anyone would ever confuse field hockey (girls and sometimes boys beating the crap out of each other with wooden sticks to get a little round piece of rubber to the other end of the field) with ice hockey (boys and sometimes girls beating the crap out of each other with wooden sticks trying to get a little flat piece of rubber to the other end of the field)

go figure

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoetry Sue

I'm with kansas girl... Calvinball was the first thing to come to mind.

I'll be point guard. Who's pitching?

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Beyond the field hockey/ice hockey debate, did anyone else notice there are NO GOALS - how is anyone supposed to win?
Tracy
Go Gladiators!! (ECHL ICE hockey in Atlanta!)

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

The random placement of "Hockey" makes it Cake Wrecks art.

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

LOL! love the commentary and the explanation for us non-sporty types!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterVPIReiner

Wreck aside, I'm not sure I'd want to buy a cake from a bakery with a name that translates as "Rock Brothers."

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbriarmuse

oops little mistake, the hot chocolate is only served when no one scores. That's the best part!
BTW,you should publish a book. I'd buy it!

October 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnnimal

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