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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov112008

Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo

What is it with monkey cupcake cakes? Bad enough that it's a cupcake cake, but then to try and make a monkey out of it? (Heh: "make a monkey out of it". I guess that's not so hard, eh? Eh?) Asking for a cute monkey CCC seems destined to failure, if you ask me.

Case in point: here's what reader Alexis P. wanted for her son Caden's 1st birthday:


Which is sort of cute, but not really; the swirl cupcakes make it look like Mr. Monkey has see-through arms and legs. That isn't the Wreck, though...

This is:


Yikes.

I can't decide if this is a monkey at a stick-up who just soiled himself (an unfortunate effect of not outlining the "tail"), or if he's another steamroller victim. Or, given that expression, I suppose he could be on some Amazon torture rack - I mean, those arms and legs are rather long...

But wait! There's more!

Aren't you curious what the birthday boy thought of his cake? Because fortunately for us Alexis captured little Caden's reaction for posterity:

Ah, I can almost hear the little shrieks of terror from here. Kinda reminds me of my own family gatherings...

Think of it this way, Alexis: without experiences like this, what will Caden talk about later in therapy? Oh, and Caden, there's always our young Wreckporter's intern program for next year.

NOTE: I've been getting some complaints about the proliferation of CCCs here on Cake Wrecks - which is kind of like complaining about all the sick people in hospitals, if you think about it. Still, I'll do my best to space them out between "real" cakes for y'all. Remember, though: if we let these silent menaces go unmentioned, bakeries might start thinking they're acceptable! We can't have that, now can we?

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Reader Comments (104)

Becky- a CCC is a CupCake Cake. Took me a few to realize that one.

Also, just what was the decorator thinking?!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCatherine

That first cake was hideous in the first place - she deserved what she got for ordering what was already a wreck! Of course - the second one is beyond words...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

But, Jen, CCC's are just so *wrong* ...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

New reader here -- I love this blog! I read the whole thing yesterday.

As someone who just made her first casserole at age 29 and who cannot bake at all, I understand the necessity of the CCC. However, how freaking difficult would it be to cut some of the cupcakes so the entire CCC has a better shape? Surely someone wouldn't mind (or would prefer, even) half a cup cake?

It just seems like if you're going to go through the trouble of frosting 30 cupcakes, you'd want the end result to be semi-satisfactory.

Anyway, great blog, thanks. I love the Super Mario cakes!!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelody

Ya know I gotta quit reading you at work.. all this silent laughter is going to make my eyeballs pop out...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHoni

Caden? I'm surprised the bakery didn't write "Jaden" or "Aiden" or "Braeden" or some other variation of that name.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The second CCC looks like a veterinary school specimen in a primate anatomy class.

Or a drug company clinical trials victim.

Either way don't let PETA see those CCCs!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCaliGirl9

Keep talkin' about the CCC's--they are truly butt-ugly "cakes"!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

Thanks Jen for showing my CCC wreck. Poor Caden has recovered but now has pictures in his 1st year scrapbook that will help with those therapy sessions. Many more items to come, maybe the pink bunny costume for Easter might have been a bad idea … HMMM

What I thought would be a cute easy cake turned into something very scary. The fun part was when you took the cupcakes off it looked like a legless monkey that pooped. Thankfully it was very tasty and the older kids thought it was hilarious.

Note for next year Wal-Mart not the best decorating place, but hey it’s a kids birthday and the cake usually goes so fast they don’t even look at it.

Thanks Anonymous for thinking I deserved it :).

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlexis

I just don't get CCCs...I mean, really people, is it actually that difficult to cut a cake???

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Since I discovered your blog, just a mere couple of weeks ago, I have been working on a new theory. Now I think I have it. Frosting should be a controlled substance. It's obvious that careless handling and consumption of it warps the brains of otherwise normal (or so we hope) people, and destroys their ability to determine what is cute and what is horrendous. Just say No to fondant!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDeborah Godin

I feel it is completely necessary that I comment in defense of the decorator- there is a huge complication with cupcake cakes that people overlook. When a customer orders a CCC, they are already taking risks, but most people who order CCCs are uncompromising tyrants! they want a specific number of cupcakes on the cake, no more, no less! heaven forbid they have to pay for an extra three cupcakes so that the monkey they just "have to have" can have a proper tail, or that a few extra cupcakes be made separate from the cake so the monkey's head isn't disproportionately huge... I think the fault behind most if not all CCC wrecks is that of the person ordering, not the person creating.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Please please don't stop posting the CCC!!! They are some of the FUNNIEST things we have ever seen! I LOVE SEEING ALLLLLL the cake wrecks!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ya know.... I'm really starting to wonder about the general mental health of the "decorators" who churn out these awful creations.

How mentally unstable does one have to be to not realize that most of these cake concepts are FAR beyond her abilities?

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Just for the record, I believe the hands, feet, face, and yes, the chest and little poof of hair are plastic lay-ons. The rest is frosting on CC's. So see what happens when you don't have the **alls to tell a customer that you can't offer then the exact cake that they have found somewhere on the internet. Sometimes, some of the wrecks, are because a customer can't take NO for an answer. Now...as for CCC, I hate to make them but once again some customers will not take NO for an answer.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

EFFECT, Jen, not affect. (Pet peeve.) Affect is an emotion, like affection. Effect is a result; as in something effective getting good results.

As for the monkey CCC: WHY?!

It's just not that hard to do a monkey as a single cake. Turns out way cuter too. I say this from personal experience!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhollyml

No wonder the poor child is crying, I might too! If you're going to make a CCC at least make it a decent one.

Julie
http://www.cakesandkids.com" REL="nofollow">http://www.cakesandkids.com

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

HAHAHAHAHAHA that poor monkey looks like it escaped from the Monkey asylum. Poor, Poor Caden,this could warp him for life. I don't think a visit to the zoo anytime soon would be in order.
Adele

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAdele

Poor kid ... scarred for life ...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

First of all I wouldn't pay for such a thing. Being a mommy of two little girls and a lover a cakes myself I don't feel the CCC is a bad concept but just poorly done usually. I have seen several that you wouldn't know were CCC's. I think a pull apart cake is a great idea during birthday's with children under five. I agree however with this sites fodant strike. It is crap..but I have come across a recipe for candy clay that is a great substitution and easier to work with than fondant as well it compliments buttercream instead just using buttercream as glue.

I think the biggest travesty in the cake industry are the prefab gingerbread houses that taste and look like crap. I can at least stomach something if it tastes good but if it neither looks appetizing or tastes like it should...please take it off the market!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mistress of Cakes

It looks like a an awful insect of some kind...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJon

I'm with Caden.. this terrified me and I'm 44.. he'll be scarred for life.. totally therapy bound!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly

Mistress of Cakes -- Could you provide a link to the candy clay recipe you like?

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ugh - these are nasty!

I just yesterday ordered cakes for my twins 1st birthday - and spelled every word and made sure the order-taker didn't write anything like "underneath" on it, I didn't want any confusion!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*~*Lis*~*

At least the tail (poop, stick, flotsam) isn't made of cupcakes, so some unfortunate guest doesn't have to eat from "there"...

CCC are just sad. But so wrecktasticly fun to witness!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermrs. q.

I, for one, totally agree with you. CCCs are the new digital photography; everyone thinks they too can be a professional. They are a disgrace to the real bakers out there.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

I thought the original was kinda cute, actually, but the wannabe was just awful. Pooping himself indeed.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

I just can't understand why regular cupcakes aren't enough for people who want hassle free cake goodness? Why smush them together and decorate as one? I think we can all appreciate the simplicity of the CC (cupcake). But it's the third C that will get you everytime...

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSari

I second every word of greeneggsandsam's post. Jen, your blog totally rocks as is. Your commentary (and posters' comments) make entries **HILARIOUS!!!**
Not just LOL, or LMAO, or LOFL-blahblahblah, but tears-inducing, hilarious.
Keep fighting the good fight against CCCs, Jen!

And about today's CCC...did anyone else see a tortured monkey salad? Correction, tortured monkey, who soiled himself, salad?

Poooooor Caden! But thanks for contributing - your mom has started you on the right track early.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterblade girl

I hate monkeys...all of them...cake or otherwise. I don't know why because I never got a ccc monkey cake for my birthday ever.

I think the second monkey is angry because he's crapped himself and doesn't have hands to throw the crap with.

But I do hate monkeys.

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHavocec

I love seeing the cake wrecks.
I love seeing the ccc wrecks.
I love seeing the Sunday eye candy.
I love you.

Word Verification: gootain.
Must try to somehow include gootain in conversation tomorrow....

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Dude! They didn't even put cupcakes in the tail! Just the frosting directly onto the cake board - how cheap!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKookaburra

Oh the nightmares!

And who cares if it's cupcakes?!
A wreck's a wreck!

Bring 'em on!

November 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlly

Jen,
I'm with all the commenters who say: LET HER BLOG IN PEACE, ON HER OWN BLOG !!

You do such a terrific job, with all of your screamingly funny commentary....don't change one thing!
And keep the CCC coming---they're a hootfest.


P.S. And you may have noticed I didn't say anything about the affect/effect issue.....

You see, I wasn't really affected by it. Its only effect, obviously, was to rile up others, who may have quirky affectations about such things as proper word usage. Yeesh.

Luckily, I have nothing but affection for you, and wouldn't dream of affecting your psyche with the effects of a pointless tirade about effectual use of language.

Oh well.....my affect is unchanged. I am still going to blithely go about my blog reading, singing a merry tune.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

"Monkey See, Monkey Doo-doo" has to be one of your funniest titles yet!

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheartafire

I love this blog. It just makes my day.....and I don't care what kind of "cake" it is. They are ALL funny!

Jane from Australia

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I have to weigh in on the side of those who want you to cut down on the number of CCCs in the blog. Not because I like them or anything, but because there's no challenge. CCCs are automatically bad, so it's not as horrid when they're wrecked. Real cakes are much more fun to see destroyed.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterViktor

I'm sorry but you post whatever-the-h#ll you want to on YOUR blog. No one HAS to read it. Tell the whiners to get a life.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterholly

I can't wrap my mind around CCC supporters. I just can't.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMisha

Oh look at the cute little fuzzy monkey buttcheeks. ROFL!!!

Love your blog!!! Don't change a thing.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJill

ccc stand for CupCake Cakes...

the moneys tail looks like poop...

i have seen some awesome cupcake cakes... but this really is sad, if i made that i would have turned around and tried again and done a better job how can you even sell such a ccc? sad...

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpitchersbakery

People are complaining about too many Cupcake-cake wrecks?

You actually get complaints about what you choose to post in your OWN blog??????? Wow. And then you try to be accomodating (kudos on that). You're much nicer than I.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGobsmacked

I can not stop laughing.

That is the most messed up monkey face ever.

Wow.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJaime

I love how there's no clear delineation between the arms and legs coming out of the torso -- it's just one big amorphous monkey blob.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryousuckatcraigslist

Thanks for fixing the grammar, Jen. I feel much better.

I have no problem with cupcakes alone - they serve the purpose. They are handy when taking somewhere for kids because no utensils are needed. It's the idea that someone, somewhere decided that it made sense to clump a bunch of little individual paper wrapped cakes together to make a monstrosity that puzzles me. If you want cupcakes, have cupcakes. Want cake? Get cake? This is apparently for those spoiled brats who want their cake and their cupcakes too?

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWomen on the Verge

i thought the "original" was barf-a-licious as well. I'm with you, Jen, a ban on all CCCs! (in the baking world, not on this site) although, i suppose if CCCs cease to exist, that might thin your submission pile a bit, eh?

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

The "better" top monkey's tail almost looks like an umbilical cord. Maybe if they'd made room to put the tail to the side it would look better.

November 12, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrookie bebe

Best. Headline. Ever.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNotABaker

Question: if the decorator had to draw the tail in icing on the board without cupcakes anyway, why did he bother to make it look like the tops of cupcakes? did he think he would "fool" somebody? why not just draw a tail?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Jeez, I showed this to my daughter who found it hysterical beyond words and now wants this cake for her 6th birthday. It's the poop that did it. Now where am I ever going to find one to re-create this monkey monstrosity with poo for her?

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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