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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Nov132008

Face Time On CW

This is so exciting, everyone: I had no idea there were Doctor Who fans in the Walmart bakery! Check this out:


How cool is that, huh? It's totally Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen!

[crickets chirping]

What?

[Pin dropping. Loudly.]

What's with all the blank looks? Are you guys telling me you don't know who Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen is? Really?

Oh.

Well, here, she looks like this:

See, she's a human from the future, and she's had so much plastic surgery that there's nothing left but her face. Get it? (Really, I don't see how you guys survive without this kind of quality programming in your lives.)

Ok, now go look at that "cake" again, and tell me it's not her. Go on.

Hm? Oh. Yeah, I guess you do have a point: she doesn't have eyebrows. Or a nose. Or weird purply hair tufts. Or antennae. But if that's not supposed to be Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen, then I'm going to go out on a limb here and say maybe the Walmart in question should consider employee drug screening. Not that I'm implying anything by that, of course - nosirree.

Thomas R., you thought it was her, too - right?

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Reader Comments (237)

Also resembles the puffy faced dream lady from Eraserhead. She freaks me out.

Sorry if someone else already mentioned this.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSra

And for a low low price of $19.48 you too can have a face cake! Who's face? Who cares!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I'm not sure which is scarier... the CCC that resembles a face very vaguely.... or the creepiest television character I can imagine. I don't watch TV, but that plotline and frightening image doesn't give me much motivation to do so. Yikes!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRob

This is my new favorite blog. Seriously.

What in holy heck *is* that?!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercgogis

Wow.

That is awful.

Who would buy that? I'm not even sure what it's trying to be.

-Kate

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Hahaha! I know who she is but then I live in the UK and it's compulsory to watch Doctor Who here! :)

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlittermillie

wha...wh...WHY WAS THIS EVEN MADE?!?!?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEmmers

I think the purple puff thingy's are supposed to be sunglasses, LOL!
I think you were right about the drug testing!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKitti

Was it supposed to look like Cassandra or is it something else?

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara

There... there... there are just no words for that... thing

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie Cassady

That is very scary in its own right, but what is even more horrifying is that someone thinks that...thing...is worth $19.48.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Ha, I thought you were going to say it was the Face of Boe!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterames

I think the name of this blog ought to be cup-cake wrecks. Not that I'm complaining.....they crack me up! Keep them coming! : )

Take the hint all you cake decorators out there, CCC's are a disaster waiting to happen.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

My first thought was that it was meant to be Will Farrels' character "Mugatu" from the Zoolander movie - I wonder if Wal-mart was trying to challenge you to a "cake-off" LOL.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChuck

No, I totally saw Cassandra before you even said Dr. Who!! Tooooo funny! Love the blog - keep it comin!!!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanita

The terribly sad thing? WalMart DOES drug screen EVERY applicant/employee - even my 65 yo mother! (when she was 65 and employed at Walmart)

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathleen

the first cake looks like spiderus from 'miss spiders sunny patch' Kinda creepy.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*dies laughing* It's TOTALLY Cassandra!!!!!!! Oh My God!!!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrazy Raven Productions

It totally looks like her! Hmmm... I wonder what the TARDIS would look like rendered in cupcakes...

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMel

I'm sorry, but WHAT. THE. FRACK. I mean, I follow the disturbing psychology that prompts baby and pregnant belly cakes, but this is just ... weird.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

Thats about the only Doctor Who episode I'v actually seen so i got the refrence at least.Still trying to figure out how to make that dalek cake...

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter84

This has become one of my favorite blogs EVER. Thanks for makin gme laugh until I cry on a regular basis!

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHLJ

I think maybe that purple stuff is sunglasses.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPoultrygeist

I saw that as soon as I saw the cake...I didn't remember Cassandra's name, but I instantly thought 'isn't that that stretched-out-skin lady from Dr. Who?'.

It kind of creeped me out when you saw the same.

~ Emily

PS: Long time reader, first time poster. LOVE this blog (and under neat that write 'it is awesome' :) )

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPirka

Ya know...I just took another glance, and it kinda looks like John Travolta in Hairspray.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

Looks to me like a reject from Pee Wee's Playhouse.

"What's the secret word, cakie?"

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

she's actually *the last* human ever.

i definitely liked her best in the doctor's body, admiring the smokin hottness that is david tennant... mmmmmm... cassandra knows where it's at.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Hmm, to me it looks a bit more like the Face of Boe...

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKristi

Totally saw it.

November 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Looks kinda like Spiderus from Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends

<.< >.> <.< >.> <.< >.>

Don't ask how I know that

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Sweet baby Jesus, that's disturbing! That was more traumatic than the time I walked into a school assembly with my skirt tucked into my pantyhose.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

I need this CCC to go with my Cassandra "Action" figure I got this past summer!

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLadyMom

I love Dr Who and know exactly what you are talking about :)

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I don't think I've ever been more thankful that the Wal-marts here don't have bakeries.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDakota

GENIUS !!

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterhammo

I'm a Dr Who fan, so I knew who that was immediately.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRiver

You Americans are way behind on your Doctor Who episodes! *Thinks back several years*

I'm gonna miss DT as the Doctor.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMantolwen

Dr Who? I thought it was Paris Hilton with rollers and a facial mask.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Holy crud, it DOES look like her! And I remember that chick... or what's left of her. (Not a huge Who fan, but I saw several episodes of it at a sci-fi convention a few years back.)

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKenya Starflight

My five year old likes to look at the cake wrecks with me each day. She wanted me to inform everyone that its actually a really bad looking sheep cake. (LOL)

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCerulean

Hmmm...sad thing is, Wal-Mart does have a drug screening program.

I really, really, really, really want to know what they were going for.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWild Child

Sorry, Wreckmistress. You have this one wrong. This is high art. I'm serious. Compare it to Picasso's minimalist period. This is great stuff. I'd have this at a party. Not for the kids though: they wouldn't get it.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMetalNoir

Hey, can the submitter tell us what this was originally supposed to be? Was there a photo they tried to replicate of something? Hilarious either way.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara

The first thing it reminded me of was the famous cover art for the Great Gatsby - the woman's face.

Except with no tear, and some crazy... horns?

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlyssa

Hooray for Whoovians! :D

This post made my (and my Who-loving friends) day!

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMer

that is totally Cassandra. I'm glad that you like quality programming too.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Hahahaha! I looked at that picture and thought. That's not just a face. I know that face.

Then you mentioned Dr. Who and that was totally it. Great stuff.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGidgidonihah

As soon as I saw "Doctor Who" I immediately started debating whether it was Cassandra or the Face of Boe.

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

I can absolutely see the resemblance now, though at first glance I thought 'Cool! The face of Boe! ... should be greener.' : )

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLutra

It took my hubby about a millisecond to say, "Hey! It's Cassandra!"

November 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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