My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

The Tell-Tale Heart

It's impossible to say how this idea first entered the decorator's brain...

But now it will haunt us both day and night.

This cake makes a mockery of my horror, Chris L. It's also really icky. Tell me, do all University of Texas cakes look like week-old medical specimens?

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Reader Comments (147)

Texas Longhorn huh? Would it be the sweetbreads of said longhorn perhaps?


Laura H.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This reminds me of the time I saw two banana slugs nestled together in a garden...they looked remarkably like this, only slimier. Neither the slugs nor this wreck make me want any cake!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIris

I assume and Aggie did this.....

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That looks like poo on a string to me. Gross. Is it really a TX Longhorns logo?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

Um...I must not be up on my college mascots. Even though you identified it as a longhorn, I still couldn't tell what it was. That is one bad cake!!!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandee

Wow. What a horror show. And what a great idea for a blog! I'm hooked!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Are you sure that's not a tongue?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

It's a Match Day congratulatory cake that does double duty for budding ob/gyns and coroners!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Happy Transplant!

Good Luck in the Cath Lab!

or, might be good for a final break up...

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpharmgirl

Well, when I first saw the picture, and hadn't read the commentary....I thought it was an old dried up version of a va-jay-jay.

Second glance, a rotten uterus with fallopian tubes.

"Congrats on your hysterectomy"?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

It's not even an anatomically correct heart.

unless that's the pulmonary circuit. but who would want that? that's boring. the systemic circuit is way more interesting.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

It looks more like a botched hysterectomy to me...

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersleepsong

Holy cow! Not in a million years would I have guessed a texas longhorn! Never, ever, ever!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal Copeland

Oh, come on! This is a perfect "t.u." cake, right Aggies?!
Saw 'em off!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

OMG, I thought it was a giant's poo, but yes I can see how it looks like a uterus. Still made me exclaim out loud when the page first opened.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, is that really supposed to be a longhorn? I actually thought maybe it was a horrible rendition of a heart. Like, "Congratulations on surviving your open-heart surgery; here's a pound of frosting to speed your recovery." I mean, shouldn't there be eyes or something if it's a steer?

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercadylee

I saw the longhorn right away (and I'm not a sports person), but that doesn't mean I *wasn't* disturbed by its close resemblance to a uterus.

I'm also of the opinion that it shouldn't look as though as though they placed a decapitated steer's head there, letting it slowly decay. It's an interestingly literal way of doing the cake, but perhaps not best for sales.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The first thing I thought was "pouch front g-string", you know, the kind male strippers wear.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

My boyfriend looked at it and was like um....cooch on a string? Here I was wondering why anyone would interpret a dog who's had too much peanut butter in icing. If they wanted it be a UT cake..couldn't they have like air brushed it burned orange? It'd be slightly more recognizable.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie M.

Ew, ew and triple ew!!! :( Totally gross, whatever it's supposed to be.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My first thought was University of Texas (my sister-in-laws will be proud) but I thought BeeVo (sp?) was alive not dead and rotting.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

It's a uterus...or a heart..or poo with I need therapy

wvotd nanish.."when I'm spouting off wisdom from my grandmother, I'm being "nanish".

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Well, they saw fit to put the thing in a plastic container; that says a lot. About WHAT, I don't know.
I noticed that this particular cake hasn't a price sticker on it...(!)
I noticed as well that it almost seems to be settled into some sort of dark-colored bin.
One might hazard a guess that the receptacle *could* be one of those used for, say, refuse, and what-have-you...that sort of thing.
I could be wrong.

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Yea! As a native Austinite (except for my four..ok 5 yrs in CS) and an Aggie, i think this is Bevo with his horns sawed off!! And his face mutilated. But really, we keep things weird here...our bakers are usually stoned, so I wouldn't put it past them to make an organ looking bevo!

December 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous


December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPuanani

Why would anyone need a strangulated vulva cake with horns?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZoltar Panaflex

I'm surprised so many people saw horns on this thing. My first thought was it was a double pile of poop with churros coming out the sides! Very unappealing to view, and almost stomach-turning to think of actually consuming such a disgusting looking pile of icing. *ick*

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKris

Wow, whatever it is, it looks wrong. They should cut it up real quick before anyone sees!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScrapsies

Yep, it's a uterus.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie,

I sort of guessed what it was supposed to be, though I didn't associate it with a mascot (I don't watch football). I thought it was maybe a skull...

...a deformed, bashed-in skull.

Obviously, that's what killed it. A severe head/face injury.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRamblingDreamer

Um...I saw something else in the design, but won't say.
Come on! Even an Aggie could do better, right? LOL
~Amy B

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

I have to give the decorator credit for trying...... But there is no way that I would have let that cake leave my sight for anything in the world. I would have promptly redone it!!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It looks like a huge set of *you know whats* underneath a thong to me! Yuck!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTonia

Blarch. I think i threw up in my mouth a little bit.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMandi

Nah. Not the teasip's mascot Bevo. He's oh-so-easy to draw, and he's always 2-D.

This is clearly a seasonal cake. It illustrates the Grinch's heart AFTER it grew three sizes.

Y'all must not have that Christmas spirit yet!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeigh

Am I the only one who thought 'Oompa Loompa Dance Belt'? I guess so...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHillary

My 7 yr old walked behind me, did a double take and then whispered in my ear "Mom? Why did someone make a cake with balls on it? That's just gross!"

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbarbj

Wow, that's terrible! Tell me that didn't come from a bakery in Austin and if so, which one do I need to avoid?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKristina

So this is what happens when you put sooners and aggies in the same cake decorating room.

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I don't even get it! What IS that???? It's so so sooo . . random! Ahh cake wrecks, you never fail to entertain me.

December 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNick

is it for a gynaecologist's graduation party?

December 26, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbryn

Just saw this abomination on

Somebody was nice enough to share the horror. Hilarity ensued!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJustice

That's the best looking longhorn I've seen. Let's face it, they're all very ugly in burnt orange.

Boomer Sooner!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

ummm... that's definitely a wandering uterus.. 'hysterical' in every way

January 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargi

I'm pretty sure that this is a celebration cake for someone who has just had a hysterectomy.

January 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara R.

Heart? As a med student I'm more convinced it looks like a uterus from the typical body donator - soaked in formalin for at least 3 months.
Thinking of it, that brown stuff around that thing do look a little like small intestine...

July 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterscap3goat

I like that it looks disgusting because I hate the Texas Longhorns. I'm an Aggie :) Can you do an Aggie cake??

July 1, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterPB&Chutney

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