My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Santa Gets the Shaft

We've already seen some flagrant Santa-abuse this year, but here's a Christmas count-down of some more ways the big guy gets no respect.

We start off with your no-frills decapitation (under dome), courtesy of Giovanna B.:

This isn't horrendously wrecky, but it looks exactly like the bleach-bottle Santa crafts my grandmother used to make, so I had to post it. Here, I found a picture of one over on Thrifty Fun for reference:

Next there's the beret-wearing, chin-melting, something-seriously-wrong-with-the-whiskers incarnation:

Huh - I've never seen a handlebar mustache grow all the way around the nose like that, Shelby B. You think it's a French thing?

And speaking of disturbing facial hair, it looks like Mrs. Claus needs to get her hormones checked:
Maybe she's born with it, Darla D. (Maybe it's Maybelline.)

Apparently Deon M.'s local decorator didn't get that new CCC Puzzle pan from Santa this year, and decided to lash out the only way s/he knew how:

Poor Santa. You'll thank him later, dear wreckerator; he's only saving you from yourself in the long run.

Suzanne G., this next little holiday vignette makes me feel a song coming on:

Here goes - y'all feel free to join in, now:

"Santa got run over by a snow plow,
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve,

You may say there's no such thing as Santa,

But once you see this stain you may believe."

"No respect! I get no respect around here! That's a lump of coal for you, Jen! And why the *%&! do I never get a proper nose, anyway? Is it so hard to give me a frickin' little nose?!? Huh? I just - I'm so - I can't even talk to you anymore! Geez. Somebody get me a hot cocoa."

I'd fetch that right away, Alden M.

« In So Many Words... | Main | The Tell-Tale Heart »

Reader Comments (61)

Is it my imagination or does that first wreck have "monster cake" on the tag? Very telling...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Kaye

And it looks like that second cake is a cupcake cake too! Oh the horror!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommentermooP

I had gotten away from that song this whole season. Never entered my head. Thanks, Jen! LOL. HAve a Merry Christmas!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

Hilarious! Thanks for a great big chuckle to start Christmas Eve.

Just missing the tire tracks...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngel

I thought the first one was a character from Futurama.

W.V. -

presogl: When a peeping tom presses his face against the window.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMissMary

That last one - looks like a angry Santa. Frightening!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJAMIE'S CREW

i think in CW5, santa is supposed to be making snow angels. i think it's kinda cute...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

Merry Christmas Jen! Thanks for always starting my day off with a laugh! :)

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterZitny Clan

the CCC Santa isn't soooo bad, at least he got a nose?!?

lol, these are great great great as always! Love it!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKat


No Christmas gifts will be opened at my house until I've had my morning laugh, so I hope you plan on posting early tomorrow. My family thanks you!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Oh my - that first Santa's been hittin' the 'nog hard and heavy for YEARS...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

The third one from the bottom needs tire tracks going over it to complete the road kill santa effect.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRoss

The first one looks like the head in a jar from the movie Silence of the Lambs! Love this site - always makes me laugh in the am!! Thanks!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These are SO funny! The "Santa got run over by a Snowplow" one made me laugh out loud, as well as the "Angry Santa" cookie telling you you're going to get a lump of coal!
(I'm gonna get in trouble laughing at these so much at work.)

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

is it bad that i actually kind of LIKE the last one? i would totally buy that. angry!santa rocks.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMia

I like how the tree is growing straight out to the side on the Santa got run over wreck... the plow wasn't happy with just taking Santa down, had to get that tree too!!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJolene

I swear, that one looks like Santa is on a luge.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterD.T. Kelly

Oh, this is very merry! But it makes me wonder about the potential trauma of bringing in these treats for young children. "OK, who wants a piece of Santa?"

Sounds like another one of those wrecktacular holiday movies that shouldn't be made.

Merry Wreckmas, Jen!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

Jen, I'm still waiting to hear your comments about why the majority of the Santas have major sunburn. Do you think it's a thinly veiled public message on the perils of skin cancer? Inquiring minds want to know...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

The Santa in the snow obviously fell off that Norelco electric razor he's been riding for 110 years.

Merry Christmas to all and to these cakes ... GOOD NIGHT!

Word verifcation: eentrevm. Um, yeah.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

"So, Clarice, what did you find in the storage shed? SANTA's head in a jar!? Hmmm, that can't be right..."

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGayle C

This is the best blog EVER! I love checking in daily just to see what you have to say. WV= realpho (as opposed to fakepho)

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentereilbeback

The last one is VERY scary!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Hrudowsky Family

Okay, I'm surprised no one else said it, that second one looks like a santa pig! Seriously looks like a pig with a santa hat, mustache and a white sluffly dress. That doesn't even look like a beard!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

the second one looks like those pig people things from dr who...........

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterO.K.

I'm still calculating how many metric tons of icing were used on the snowplow crimescene. for murder!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEl Comodoro

Ha, those are awesome. Love your site!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Lewis Family

"Maybe she's born with it - maybe it's maybelline!"
I spit my coffee out on that one!!! LMAO!!!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLynda

I believe Santa is being mugged in #5. "Stick-em up Fat Man."

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDave D-O-Double-G

I am guilty of selling a lot of those Roshco CCC molds to young mothers and also grandmothers. I am so ashamed.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKyle

Haha Santa still looks a little contagious today. Hilarious.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I just showed my 5 year old daughter the last cake and she said "why's he so mad" and then she said "I think he looks like the Grinch".

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentercheepette8

Oh my, that one santa is the color of pepto bismol. Looks like he has high blood pressure!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Bring me the head of Santa on a plate...

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary B

Haha, great cakes. The 3rd one is the most disturbing, it looks like Michael Jackson in a Santa suit.

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think that "Dead Santa in the Middle of the Road" is really doing a body surf down the icing hill.

o<\\\\\\\\];^) Jan the Gryphon

wv: humiats - feeling another song coming on

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermegryphon

My favorite part of the snow-plowed Santa scene? The tree sticking straight out the side of the icing hill. What was the decorator thinking (smoking) when he/she did that?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterApril

Thank you so much Jen for your blog! I never laugh so much as I do when I'm reading your comments on all these cake wrecks. Thank for making our Christmas a LOL one :)

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

Is Santa really a pig?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterj

When my three year old daughter saw that last santa wreck her response was "Oh my!". Santa sure is angry there isn't he?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReese

#3 reminded me of that B.C. comic trip where the blonde lady says, "I did wax my eyelashes a tad heavy."

Never mind the melting chin, that one looked like ALL the icing was about to start drip-dripping off!

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

The second one looks like Kirby standing on top of a cloud while wearing a Santa hat. I still can't explain the mustache, though

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCassykins

Those are so bad but I hope they are all from supermarket bakeries and not a professional bakery. What do we expect for cheapo, grab the grocery clerk and make them a decorator, cakes?

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdelaney55


December 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

OH MY FREAKING GOD! That first cake is identical to one I saw today at a local grocery store's bakery dept. Even down to the squashed hat in the plastic dome.

I kinda thot of it as Santa's Disembodied Head. LOL

I so wanted to take a pic of it but there were a ton of people around and I didnt want strange looks..LOL

There was a pretty scary looking black/dark green christmas tree one with purple and dark blue ornament dots. Darn I knew I should broke out the camera. LOL

December 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentervixen

The last Santa reminds me of the robot Santa Claus on Futurama who thinks everyone is bad and goes around killing people on Christmas.

I prefer my Santa's on the jolly side, thank you very much!

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEric

That last Santa looks like he's got some Jiffy Pop stuffed inside his hat. Ouch. No wonder he's angry.

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you for the smiles, gasps and giggles. I am up at 3am trying to thaw the frozen turkey. Ha. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year of Cake Wrecks!!! Wreck on!

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

Scary. Just plain scary.

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

Perhaps the decorators had a little too much Captain in their Eggnog? Yikes.
And the Crime Scene Santas? Where's the chalk lines?
~Amy B

December 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

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