My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Goy Gaffes

(Ok, so the assumption that these were NOT made by Jews is a leap, I know, but can't a girl hope?)

"A Star is (Not) Born"

Yes, technically a Star of David is two triangles intersecting, Bugsy - but not like this. And I think you can lay off the "poiple" icing now, too.

"The Teal Tornado"

As you can see, this traditionally-colored flaming whirlwind knocked the wording about and blew the second 'k' clean off. Of course, if for the sake of argument we called this a "menorah", then it's also missing a candle. The fact that the "candles" look like Christmas trees is just the icing on the, er, cookie. Mazel Tov!

And last but not least,

"The Religiously Confused"

How much you wanna bet this bakery has a bin of "Christmas Stars" in the back?

Thanks to Ebony W., Shanna M. and Frank R.!

« Winter Wonderland Sweets Continued | Main | Kwanzaa Will Not Be Spared »

Reader Comments (55)

oy vey

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that last cake made me laugh out loud! sigh !

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura ~Peach~

Did you notice that the first one with the star of david seems to be an upside down cupcake christmas tree?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKatie


December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJulianne

On cake #3 I'm thinking the person at the bakery thought, "I'm sick of all the 'Season's Greetings', 'Happy Holidays', 'Happy Hanukkah' euphemisms. I'm putting 'Merry Christmas' on all the cakes because that's what everyone is celebrating!"

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJohnnyB

Maybe the third one could be for a mixed-religious household. That's the excuse I'd use if I was the lazy and/or confused person who made it.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm not even Jewish and I'm offended. Nah, maybe just amused at what people will put on a cake to try to sell it.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Teal Tornado!! Hilarious! (It is a lovely color, though...)
I really got the feeling that someone had sneezed right between "HANU" and "KAh."
If so, it *could* just explain how the glimy-gloobery got there.
The little trees /whatnots were an attempt to make it represent an actual something-or-other, like a pedestal on which we have little green pinecones wearing hats. Or the Seven Dwarfs plus a new recruit.
I shouldn't come here before I've had my coffee.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Don't be too hard on the tornado decorator who left off the second K in "Hanukkah" - there's only one K in the Hebrew spelling, and the transliteration isn't universal. Plenty of other reasons to pick on that cake. :)

I'm guessing that last bakery neglected to stock up on "Happy Christmukkah" lettering...

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarcos

Actually, I don't notice anything wrong with the first. It's not lovely, but it's adequate.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichael

I love the teal tornado! And "Christmas Stars"! Although a cake like that could be used in my house as we're a bit confused... I made latkes for Christmas Eve dinner and we have a dreidel on our Christmas tree. :)

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

oy vey!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarieA

Actually, the whirlwind thing is called a Hanukkiah, after the holiday. A menorah is a seven branched candelabrum used to tell the days of the week. Also, a Hanukkiah needs nine branches, with one higher than the other eight. Just dropping some knowledge...

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJoe

My engineer husband is troubled by the cupcake star. He says its hard to mess up a triangle, and that it would have been so easy to arrange the cupcakes correctly...

Too funny.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

I guess that last cake is nice because it sort of includes both groups.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Really that thrid one was probably a Chrismakkuh cake inspired by Seth Cohen of The O.C. :) At least, thats the sotry I'd use if I was the one selling the cake.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessica B


Very cool knowledge- I never knew that. That said, are you sure you aren't giving the decorator too much credit...?

In other news, I like how the "Merry Christmas" looks stuck on there like an afterthought, heh.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOmm

What are the white spidery-legs looking things in the third picture?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJAMIE'S CREW

I'd much prefer 'Gentile' to 'Goy'== I've run across too many offensive uses of the latter.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJorn

I love your blog. It has brought me more joy than I can tell you; sometimes a good laugh can change everything. Thank you.

Blessings, Carolynn

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWillow Tree

I'm pretty impressed the Teal Tornado "bakery" seems to think it was good enough to deserve the display holder! LOL "Wow! That's a really good one! Maybe the best we've got!"

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKrissy

Goy is basically Gentile in Hebrew. Nothing more, nothing less.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jews for Jesus, the cake version.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The great thing about the third cake is the dual purpose -- you can pluck out the plastic things for the "other" holiday you are not celebrating. So much easier than trying to redo icing :)

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well...Jesus WAS a Jew, so that last cake could actually be right...sorta...

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrobyn

I love that you include all sorts of winter holiday cake madness. It's really refreshing to see someone who considers many holidays, even if kwanzaa cakes are really hard to find.

ps. what the heck is a Snotion (my verification word)? Is that like a snot station all mushed together?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

I think the 3rd cake is a very clever marketing ploy...anyone can buy it and just remove what they don't need...deviously clever, appeal to everyone.
These are funny!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwolfmom

I like the last one. I would totally buy that one, especially if I were invited to a Kwanzaa party I could bring it to.

Verification word is "unispe" as in UNIted SPEcial occasions.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAviatrix

Plenty of Christian/Jewish families would love that last cake but holy moly is that a hilarious mess. I suspect that the decorator did in fact have "Christmas stars" in the back and just stuck them on.

The unholy CCC has reared it's hideous head in the form of the malformed Star of David. Which really is not that hard. Come on. I'm not even Jewish and I'm annoyed at that one. It's just lazy decorating.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm thinking on cake #3 the "spider leg" things are papers to separate the slices, no?

The first one really scares me. Not only is it a CCC *runs from the room screaming* but it truly is very hard to mess up 2 triangles.


December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDebbi

The last cake could be for/by Messianic Jews, who accept Jesus was the Messiah and still keep their Jewish customs, like Chanukka, pesoch, and everything else. Cool religion, imho.

But still... TACKY CAKE!!!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRufus Opus

Ick...the whole lot of them. that a merman who is a ?

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Let me guess: the decorator of the "star of David" CCC failed geometry ...

Word verification: misiolob. What someone who had a lobotomy is missing.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

You missed Sandra Lee's Hanukkah cake, from the same episode as the Kwanzaa football cake. Oy vey indeed.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

I second that the "spider leg" things on cake #3 are papers to separate the slices. It's common for prefab cakes designed to be sold by the slice to have those, although the extra decoration on top baffles me.

Word verification: parch. What happens to your mouth when you eat stale cake.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteroddharmonic

Dear Mr. Politicians,
SACRILEGE! SACRILEGE! Somebody stop this politically correct #@$% People are getting religiously confused and it's NOT FUNNY! Okay, well, maybe it is, a little....... BUT IT'S STILL NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!!
A So Totally Not Crazy Person Who Is Not Addicted To This Blog Completely

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSport's Mom

YAY!!! Equal-opportunity cake wrecks! XD

I would so totally buy the Merry-Christmas-with-Jewish-stars cake, but then again I'm insane.

Word verification: precave. I would not be surprised if at least one of these wrecks caved in upon being touched.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorinn

Wait--I know who that last cake is marketing too. I have a couple friends who married each other despite religious differences. She is Christian, he is Jewish. This time of the year they celebrate both religious holidays, so this would be the perfect cake for them!

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterNipponElla

Store-bought cakes weren't really part of my chanukah experience - homemade sugar cookies decorated with pale blue sugar, were.

I'm Jewish and my husband isn't, but we would never buy that last cake for any reason. I'm happy just eating the Christmas cookies our friends give us :-)

- jen

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Forget the inscription. That last cake looks like a "Face Hugger" from Alien! "Merry Chrstmas....AAAAAAAGHH!!!"

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

You found some!! I think the one with Merry Christmas and the Stars of David would probably go over well in my blended family- I'm Jewish, hubby's not.

All I can really say is that at least none of them misspelled Hannukah, unless you count the "Merry Christmas." The menorah, though, was a huge glaring error.

December 27, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterterrib

Sooo... the decorator of the tornado took the word "branches" to heart. But forgot one! Soooo funny!!!!

WV- metro (seriously!)

December 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Oy. Oy. Oy.
~Amy B

December 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Why on Earth is the last "h" in "HANUKAh" lowercase when EVERY OTHER LETTER ON THE COOKIE IS UPPERCASE!?


December 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoug

Srictly speaking a menorah doesn't need the ninth candle, so that's not a problem with the cake.. many things ARE a problem, I'll admit, but that's not one of them

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake would have been great for me growing up -- My mom's Jewish, Father's Catholic, so we celebrated both holidays.

Reminds me of one year when my mom gave me a huge teddy bear for Chanukah -- it had "Merry Christmas" sewn on it. She got a lot of teasing from me about that.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHarley Quinn

Maybe the last cake is a chrismukkah cake!

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Pink Queen Albatross

If the last one is supposed to be a cake for both Christmas and Hanukkah, it's an absolute failure. I bet even my non-baking sister-in-law could do a better job. Whoever decorated that cake needs to be slapped 10x in a row.

December 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCalantha

I'm just writing to voice my approval of the "Hanukah" spelling. It's not exactly wrong, though it is uncommon.

By the way, since we grew up in a Jewish/Christian household, that last cake would have been spot on. But it is just plain weird.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCanaduck

Love the last one. It reminds me of a family/extended family reunion :)

WV: tryst. Seriously. As in my daily "tryst" with Cake Wrecks, some things just make sense.

December 30, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

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