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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Dec092008

Artistic License

I've been getting requests for more "missed marks" Wrecks. Your wish = my command. Well, when it's something I was going to do anyway, that is.

Here's what Jennifer S. wanted for her sister-in-law's baby shower:


So you know this is going to be good, right? [snicker] Here's how I imagine the conversation in the bakery went:

"So Lee, you gonna need a tracing for that cake design?"
[scoffing] "Puh-lease! Me? Don't you remember how I took that art class in night school last fall? I'm golden! Pass me the airbrush, will ya?"
"Wow, are you sure? It looks pretty complicated..."
"Only to the untrained eye, my friend. Now stand back and let the master work."

15 minutes later:
[staring]"Gosh, Lee, I don't know..."
"Yeah, it's a little bare in the corners, huh? I better add some roses. Let's see, what color goes best with purple, orange, and yellow?"
"Maybe a light pur..."
[interrupting] "OH! I know: teal!"

(Note: The crazy names and question marks were actually requested, since the baby's name was still undisclosed. I'm guessing the damaged area was a result of Jennifer doing a face-plant after fainting in disgust at the sight of it. Am I right, Jen?)

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Reader Comments (146)

Love the spaceship theme. I never would have thought of that for a baby shower. I guess I'm just not that creative.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Is it just me, or is that cake design out of focus? But then, I have the same problem with my high definition TV... without hi-def eyes, what's the point?

********

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December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Based on how fuzzy the design looks, my guess is that the 'oops' on the bottom was done by the decorator trying to get in close to do the detail work on those teal roses. When you see the original, you just KNEW a wreck was on the way. The mind reels at the possibilities. Would Dr. Seuss find it amusing or insulting?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This is horrible!!! What are they thinking honestly when they had over a monstrosity like this to a paying customer!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Moffitt

oh my wow ummm. Yeah Im sure somewhere those colors really go together and Im sure if you squint really hard and tilt your head to the left ok well maybe the right. hmmm I think I can kind of see the resemblance to the picture.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersweettc

I can't stop staring at the purple snail, it's got me in a trance....

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterusda

Spew-coffee-on-my-keyboard-pee-my-pants-snort-out-loud-funny as hell!

This is my absolute favorite wreck!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJustfrosting

It looks like a snail shaped alien space craft transporting a baby.

Yikes.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

this one cracks me up! it looks like geese pulling an alien in a spaceship. hilarious!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheresthediehl

aww cute! baby first snail ride!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterutaduta

Now, expecting a design like that to be translated by a grocery store deli/bakery worker is asking for trouble!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

That is such a complicated design - I'd never go into a bakery and ask for that. She was just asking for a cake-wreck when she chose that picture.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

Holy moly, even in the home decorating department that would be a big fat fail.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

It looks like a spaceship! Holy Moley, your baby is coming from outer space!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKT

It looks like a spaceship.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

That's pretty Wreck-tastic! Although, part of me wonders if the people ordering complicated cakes like this from a grocery store bakery aren't setting themselves up for a Wreck-tastrophe. Walmart bakery does not equal Mike's Amazing Cakes.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Hmm...we always assumed that alien technology would be better, but this cake seems to imply that their flying saucers are actually pulled by teams of space-birds.

I'm not the only one seeing a flying saucer with an alien in it, am I?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Nothing says "Welcome to the World" like an alien in a strange spacecraft powered by pterodactyls.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

*complete silence*

No words can express the horror I felt when I saw this.

I had a similar experience 7 years ago (way pre-CW) and had a family friend copy a picture of bears on clouds. It was no way close and I promptly hauled to my nearest grocer for a replacement. Gosh, now I wish I took a picture of it!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlli

i think the poor kid looks like flubber but in yellow.

:-\

also i think think the " ropes" are the best part. the way they curl around the....necks of the.....

welll you know what i mean.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWakeGrace

terrifying.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'm mesmerized....in a sick and twisted sort of way!
www.doodlebunz.com/blog

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDoodleBunz/DB Impressions

Add me to "I see a fuzzy purple snail" group. Oh boy.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

Good grief!!!

You know there is a printer you can buy and use eatible ink. If you have no talent, at least get the right tools!!! I can't believe that they let that go out of the store.

Validation word regearr.... my point exactly!!!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryanicka

Ummmm...this is a Dr. Suess reference.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The horrors! Such shame.

...I am referring, of course, to the potential baby names. FritzPatrick? McTovish? Benton???

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Has the cake decorator never heard of the edible rice paper??? Print the picture on the rice paper and stick it on the cake. Grrr it looks like a spaceship!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

Aw, c'mon, if you're not paying a gazillion dollars for a professional baker, you have no business requesting such a complicated design.

And, on the other hand, if you're not a professional baker who can command a gazillion dollars with your artistry & skill, you have no business accepting such an assignment. This decorator doesn't even have the ability to write levelly. What a waste of frosting.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

YOUCH!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

Holy hell..that is pretty awful! I, for one, would not have taken that order. I wonder if the bakery purchased thee rights to reproduce a copyrighted image..oh well, never mind..that doesn't even come close to a reproduction of a licensed image...Oh, come on you decorators!! You need to know when to say "NO we can't do that!!"

word verification.first time...
eggrump
they deserve a thrown egg-to-the-rump for that monstrosity!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Ow. Ow ow ow ow ow

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Lovely. My favorite thing about this cake has got to be the baby-alien's eyes and smile. (It looks like it's actually made by stray spatters from the purple alien airship.) Anyone else see this?

I think the baby-alien is looking to the left at its alien space-monitor (that orange square that's meant to be *choke* a flower), and smiling to itself over its evil plan.

New reader... I just found this blog the other day. I've already read the entire thing, though. Snarking, or reading someone else snarking (not to mention seeing other people FAIL so badly), really relieves stress.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLady √Čowyn

Missed Marks may be my favorite category! Is it just me, or by not leaving some white space for the baby's diaper... have we all witnessed the first naked-babyblob/purple-snail flight? No amount of blue flowers and poor penmanship can detract from this historic occasion. This looks like a job for an edible image-transfer.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHottpants

I believe the original picture is from Dr. Suess. The cake is from hell.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

the initial design was a bit much for a cake, wouldn't you say?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

The real question is, what name did that poor baby end up with?

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrianna

I'd like to point out that purple, green and gold are the Mardi Gras colors. Not that that helps the cake any. :D

It's a damned shame to see Dr. Seuss abused that way.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEight Lives Left

Poor Dr. Seuss...little did he know something of his would be used to...umm...signal the mothership's return to earth? I really don't know what to say about that cake other than "wow".

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Poor Dr. Seuss! I hope the baby didn't end up being an alien...

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMari

Do people really PAY for these cakes?? I'm pretty sure I would refuse to. Of course, then you don't have the fantastic picture and story for Cake Wrecks...

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

I totally agree - no business taking such a complicated design to a regular bakery, nor did the decorator have any business agreeing to this one....

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDea

Oh girl...what in the world is that? Hehe...

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJamie

I guess I'm the only one who thinks the designer did a rather decent job with it, for being by hand. A printing would have made more sense/looked the best, but it's a good attempt at a complicated drawing.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteretothepi

"Has the cake decorator never heard of the edible rice paper??? Print the picture on the rice paper and stick it on the cake."
Beth - I couldn't agree with you more. I have a feeling that is what the customer expected them to do. You see it in grocery stores all the time.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

haha priceless.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why would the bakery agree to copy this design in the first place? Its one thing to request black and white kittens or a baby with balloons, but to ask for an exact Dr. Seuss image if they don't don't have a license right for it...well who knows what you're going to get. There's a reason for those books of screen prints at Dairy Queen and plastic bits that you can order from Deco Pak. People own those images and you pay a fee to use them.

Or maybe that's why its a blurry after image, but the bakery should have explained that's what they would do if that's all the closer they would do...

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKPP

Its sad to think that Seuss could be insulted so badly!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGabrielle

Someone else said it...legally you can't put a copyrighted image on a cake and sell it. THese bakers would be better off refusing to do it for legal reasons rather than their inablility to reproduce the image effictively. Sooooooo....what's the best thing for a baker to do? Either refuse the order....or do something unrecognizable and when the people who ordered it come to pick it up, give them a big wink.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Scottish/Irish Alien babies arriving in a spaceship pulled by strange yellow birds...

Gotta love it!

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

I personally think that the cake requester, being a fan of this blog, asked Walmart to make something complicated on purpose, just to get a wreck to send in. I just don't think she ever expected this level of wreckiness.

By the way, I just know they went with FritzPatrick. I can just feel it in my bones.

December 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

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