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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Saturday
May312008

When Brides Have No Budget (Or Taste)


Obviously someone needed to rein in this woman during the wedding planning. What kind of ego does it require to commission a life-sized replica of yourself in cake? But what really baffles me is this: the details are exact right down to the hair clip, so what the heck is UP with that tacky red rick-rack down the skirt of the cake? "Sure, we hand-painted a matching bodice-design, copied the make-up and hairstyle, and have identical veils - but then we thought this giant rick-rack would add just the right extra touch!" ?!?

Obviously Bridezilla shares my opinion: she's eying that red trim with murder in her eyes.

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Reader Comments (228)

No, no--the BEST part is the GINORMOUS bosom. In fact, I would guess that the shower cake above belongs to the bride featured here.

June 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

OMG!!! This is SO ridiculous it's hard to believe it real! But there it is, for the whole word to see. Poor poor man that married her...

June 14, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlicia & Grant

I completely agree with the question of ego size. Additionally, what gets me is the cutting-the-cake aspect. I mean, at some point, it just HAS to stop. My suggestion is somewhere around the bouquet.

July 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChris

OMG! This is a Bridezilla at their worst! And they look like such a happy couple.....

the red 'rick-rack' is actually the cable powering the speaker and mechanical mouth parts.

July 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I just wish I could have seen the meeting in which that request was made. The pastry chef had to have been speechless. Or amused. Or at the bare minimum they had to have had a fleeting thought that the bride must be joking.

July 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSteph

Yeah, that one made me laugh out loud too. I saw an update somewhere, wish I could remember where, that said it took the bride's family something like four months to finish eating all the cake leftover from that reception. My thought was, again, "Ewwww...who keeps eating the same cake for four months? Gross!"

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGlenna

Hmm, do you suppose they cut off the head and stuck it in the freezer for the 1st year anniversary! Can you imagine seeing THAT every time you go for the fish sticks! HILARIOUS!

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Gives a whole new meaning to "Eat me". Holy cow, this is funny.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This happened out of a bakery in Dallas. It was proudly on the news featuring the baker for about a week, with live coverage at the wedding.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's "rein." Comes from horses, not kings.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oops - thanks for the spelling correction. You all are really keeping me on my grammatical toes.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Also, the necklace is different.

The whole thing is still horrifying, though. :)

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJena the yarn harpy

There's an interview with the bride from a Texas TV station:
http://cbs11tv.com/video/?id=22400@ktvt.dayport.com&cid=7

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfenrislorsrai

This is simply hilarious! I would argue about the no budget thing, though--this must have cost a fortune! From the picture alone, though, it looks like maybe this wasn't the bride's idea. She looks a little freaked out at the idea of cutting into her own skirt. I would too.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

I think when they said 'no budget' they meant the bride wasn't on a budget, i.e. the sky's the limit.

Never Never a good idea TM.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I actually think that the cake is better looking than the bride....

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered Commentershinejewelry

The rickrack is so you can tell the difference between them because the baker is JUST THAT DAMN GOOD.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSorcha

Cynthia: it was DEFINITELY the bride's idea. Apparently it was her childhood dream!

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwillowfae

Does this cake make me look fat?

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentereggvip

Makes the Pop Tart I'm eating right now look downright boring.

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristian

Wow I think the cake looks better than the bride!

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermrsdoxtater

Actually, she was overjoyed with the cake. It was definitely her idea, and a childhood dream ever since she saw a similar themed cake as a child in Nigeria.

(Just summarizing from the video link.) :)

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I'm guessing they added the red rick-rack to distinguish between Bridezilla and her dessert replica. That way, there are no unfortunate misunderstandings...although looking at the daggers flying out of that woman's eyes, I think it would be doing the groom a favor:-P

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You would expect the bride to be a nightmare, but in the video she seems so sweet. My guess here is that it's something cultural (she's from Nigeria) that doesn't translate well.

Thought it was a nightmare when I saw it, then I saw the video of the bride - now I think, ok, weird, but ok.

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The red mark going down the cake is so that people can tell the difference between the cake and the bride even when drunk. Can you imagine the groom dancing with the cake accidentally and having the whole thing fall all over him during the wedding?

To be fair, that would give him his "just desserts". HA HA HA HA HA HA! PUN!

(And yes, I am aware that the actual phrase is "just deserts", with just one S. This is a pun.)

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMauro

The red line is the breakway. I'm certain there's someone inside who's going to jump out. Maybe a stripper.

I figured this woman was from either Ghana or Nigeria, where effigies are pretty common, even in cake. A number of West African groups have effigies as a major part of their cultural heritage. You guys are being a little harsh -- this may be a question of cultural difference.

July 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterQuezz

From the look on the bride's face, I'm thinking she's none too pleased about the fact that her wedding cake is ashy. And that her "ginormous" rack (well said, Heidi) is balanced out with an equally ginormous budonkudonk.

Then same could be said about the cake.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSeoul Brother

Thank you, Quezz. A lot of American customs probably look pretty tacky and tasteless to outsiders as well. Pretty cruel to judge her (and her marriage, geez, Alicia, was that necessary?) based on a cake.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Unfortunately, as Miss Manners has often pointed out, mixing traditions from disparate cultures rarely works out as well as hoped. It's not insensitive to note how odd this cake appears to our eyes.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPowers

I Googled - according to the article she'd also wanted a cake copy of the husband as well, but apparently there wasn't time. Would it look less odd or more so if they'd got both?

Even if it's a cultural thing, it's pretty strange to the eyes of the culture in which she is currently living.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I recall reading about this on another board. I believe that the bust is actually clay and was made by an artist for this purpose. Only the dress is cake.

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanyeln

I remeber the local coverage this bride got as well. Maybe the red zig zag fabric was placed there to hide damage...

July 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRATSAWGOD

From a previous anonymous comment: "A lot of American customs probably look pretty tacky and tasteless to outsiders as well."

Well, yeah...and to a lot of insiders too.

August 1, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

No one feels any sympathy for the groom in all this? Good God Almighty he needs prayer vigils held for him every hour of the day being married to this sociopath bride.

August 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteransomble

The groom looks really happy. He's got wife, and clone wife, and... OMG clone wife has got a knife!

August 3, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

I think the Groom ordered it. He is so pleased. She is wondering.. What did I get myself into..!

August 7, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"the red 'rick-rack' is actually the cable powering the speaker and mechanical mouth parts."

You mean it TALKS, too?

Wow! The groom can have his cake... and eat her (the bride), too!

August 9, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSisters

This cake is not all cake. The bust of the bride is actually made of Polymer clay and was made by a polymer doll artist. I know, because I am on a list serve called Dollmakers and she is one of the dollmakers. She has a web site where she shows the process she used to make this cake TOPPER of Polymer clay. http://www.weddingsculptures.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=17&Itemid=2

August 11, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSAVanVleck

Looking at it, I think her dress has that same red strip. Cake bride shows us her right side, bridezilla shows us her left side. I'd bet my last cupcake that if she (zilla) did a 180 we'd see gingham!

August 12, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterInkwasbetter

My husband: "The cake is prettier than the actual bride..."

heehee!

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAllison

The red zig zag is so you can tell the cake from the bride, cause it's SO HARD TO DO.

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteriwasateenagedrugaddict

Oh, bless her heart... that's just so weird! lol

August 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

After a previous poster mentioned that the bride is from Nigeria, and wanted this cake because of one she had seen as a kid, this made a lot more sense. There is a strong tradition of interesting coffins in Ghana (nearby country)http://sociolingo.wordpress.com/2007/03/10/ghana-bizarre-coffins/. Such strong artistic expression probably doesn't stop at national borders, and isn't contained to just funerary stuff. It seems entirely plausible that big events would call for "big expressions". Still kinda odd, though.

-Mander

August 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMander

I seem to recall an episode of Star Trek: TNG where there were life sized cakes...

maybe it came to her in a dream.

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTRT

Customary issues aside, I think the way she's looking at the cake while holding that knife is pretty disturbing...

August 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The bride was incensed to find out that the email was a fake and she wasn't going to get the $25 bazillion dollars afterall.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteranonymous

Maybe the expression on the bride's face is unhappy because she overheard someone making a rude comment about her dream cake.

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What //I// love about it is the huge soda-can tab dangling from the cakified statuette's neck. Did anyone else notice that??

August 19, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlanarockz

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