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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Jun272008

I'll Take My Chances

Either this is the new "Russian Roulette" event in a Competitive Eating Competition, or someone is trying to tell the cake-lover in their life to start prioritizing. If said cake-lover is anything like me, however, he or she would be reading the word "Poison" with 3 bon bons already stuffed in her cheeks, chipmunk style.

And lest you think the odds are 1 in 6, like I initially did, look again. There are actually bon-bons ringing the whole cake, so your odds are more like 1 in 30. Well, assuming you only eat one, of course, which we all know would be against the laws of nature.

Aside from the possible poisoning attempt, this cake also breaks the laws of good taste by employing a sporadic color palette, sickly-looking yellow "flowers" (I use the term loosely), and a general over-use of the star tip: it looks like someone decorated the whole thing with a Redi-Whip can. Also, if we're to assume those red things are berries (see, John? I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt!), why are most of them centered on the "leaves"?

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Reader Comments (30)

Those "creepy yellow" flowers? I'm thinking they're pasta. Nothing says love like death and noodles.

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

While I suspect they mean one of the many Bon Bons on the cake is poisoned, I chose to read it as: "One Bon Bon is poison" so you must eat many!"

July 22, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe a song lyric? http://www.amazon.com/Bon-Bon-Love-Token-Allyson-Shaw/dp/0974822914

I think it's pretty! And I love the handwriting! I would totally hesitate to eat it, tho.

July 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaurie

Yea, I'm with laurie on this one. The cake overall is a tragedy, but I really like the handwriting!

July 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Vinny

As an amateur baker/cake decorator who JUST started out selling my stuff, I'm SO glad to see that even if I screw up, it CAN'T be as bad as some of these!!!

LOVE the blog!!!!

July 25, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMegan

Maybe it was Christmas and those are holly berries......Maybe?

July 27, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

While my first thought is to agree with anonymous, that the idea is not to eat only one bonbon...

...I also have this notion that they served this cake at one of those Dinner and a Murder parties.

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterIndigo

A cake worthy of (movie-verse) Wednesday Addams ;)

July 28, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteremiofbrie

While the multi-colored icing rosettes were a bad choice, I think the cake idea and wording is hilarious. I plan to copy the idea at some point for a birthday cake for a family member w/ a good sense of humor & a sweet tooth for bon bons. :-)

July 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

That cake looks absolutely delicious. You fools who are making fun of it because of some malformed flowers, you're just leaving more for me!

August 6, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The comments on this cake made me cry I was laughing so hard I could not talk. And yes, I would be that person eating the Bon-Bons too late to realize they were poison. Great writting. I laughed for 30minutes

August 14, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersjd

The old joke goes like this:

A woman who did not like to have people stealing bon bons from her candy dish put a sign on it that read "One Bon Bon is poison" to deter thieves.

The next day, the sign had been changed to "Two Bon Bons are poison"

August 15, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh good lord, I find the cake while not exactly attractive somehow deliciously wicked, in a non-literal sense (having not tasted it myself). I'd love a cake with a wicked sense of humor.

August 16, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

I love this handwriting, though. The best I've seen on any of them as I peruse your blog. I've had to label it "time burglar" as it is wasting much productive time.

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJustin

I would put Poison Control on Speed Dial and then eat them all anyway.
I actually find that cake hilarious and besides the slightly disturbing message, a very acceptable dessert :D I think you might be over-criticising this one.

August 24, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJacquie

Would love to know the true story behind the cake. I also love the handwriting

August 26, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Fran probably had this cake made up for her birthday at the office and included this clever little inscription to deter some of the cake hogs so that they wouldn't eat it all before she got a piece. It was a pretty good trick too, because those aren't even bon bons. Those are Cream Puffs.

August 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterelesa

I kinda want this cake for my next birthday...

September 13, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeanna

At least the handwriting is nice ... Yikes.

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

I think it'd be better if it said "one bon-bon isn't poision" then you really help dieters *snicker*

September 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

When I first read it, I read "poison" as "poisson". It made the whole thing that much more ridiculous and confusing. I want someone to put that many cream puffs on my birthday cake!

November 8, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjj

It's ok, I was planning on leaving one. *grin*

November 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

Laurie said...

Maybe a song lyric? http://www.amazon.com/Bon-Bon-Love-Token-Allyson-Shaw/dp/0974822914

my friend wrote that book! how odd to find a reference to it here.

November 29, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterbutcherbaby

I feel like I ought to wait till nobody's looking, then add "Now there are two" to the message. (You know the old joke?)

December 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it possibly was supposed to be "One Bon Bon Per Person"?

Just a guess.

Rocky

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I was wondering about the words being a reference. I couldn't find the contents of the Allyson Shaw book Bon Bon Love Token.

What I did find is lyrics to a song by Swedish group A Camp:
"Who told you love is the alpha and omega?
And that your heart will lead you to the only one?
It`s a curse, it`s the hammer that will break you,
It`s a poison hidden in a bon bon."

Are the friends of a heartbroken recipient encouraging her to try again using the sweetest medicine known?

The video is available on youtube, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUVMpluF7kQ

January 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Actually, the cake itself is not horrendous and I adore the dark humour behind the inscription. I'm sure it must be a theme cake for a party--I know my daughter had me make a cake for her eighteenth birthday that said "Cake or Death?" on it in a reference to an Eddie Izzard sketch.

February 9, 2009 | Unregistered Commentergonnabecanuck

"Nothing says love like death and noodles."

I think this is the best comment on the entire page. I'm still laughing. Thank you, Laura!

October 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Maybe it was supposed to say, "One Bonbon is Passion."

November 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKloud

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