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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Sunday
Jul132008

The Creepiness Continues


Not all Cake Wrecks are a result of poor construction, as you can see from this example. Some cake artists just seem to forget that, at the end of the day, their creation is meant to be eaten. Can you seriously imagine being told to slice up and serve this cake?

And baby shower cakes seem to be the worst offenders in this vein. People, try to think outside the box, will you? Just because the occasion has "baby" in the name doesn't mean the cake has to BE a baby, mmkay? You don't see bridal shower cakes made to look like the bride, do you? Oh, wait - scratch that example...

But getting back to this cake - I think the worst part is that the baby is staring at me. No, really - check out the right eye. [shudder] Dang, that would be spine-tingling even if it were a real baby, you know? (And can you imagine being the person who gets served that eye? Eeeek- I'm going to give myself nightmares.) Call me finicky, but I really can't eat anything that looks like its looking at me.

Still not creeped out? Then watch the video of this cake's construction. The final few seconds are the stuff horror flicks are made of ("The eye! It's opening! Aaauggh!!!).

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Reader Comments (131)

I just found your blog and I am laughing so hard! As one who has a hobby of cake decorating, I see a bunch of examples of "what NOT to do!"

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Jade, show me a cake that's not meant to be eaten, and I'll show you an utter waste of cake.

This cake is an abomination. The demon child must be destroyed! And eaten! Mmmmm...

August 20, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJim

The love child of E.T.?

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Also, the music in that video is so frenetic and ominous that it makes it seem like something TERRIBLE is about to happen - and it DID.

August 31, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterErica

This blog is awesome, LOL....I have been sharing some of the worse ones with my husband and when I showed him this one, he said, "Hmm...wonder if it's a red velvet cake?"

Reading the comments, I see he's not the first to ponder this, LOL....Just had to share. Great site!

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

That looks like Quato from Total Recall!!!

September 3, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. I could not imagine eating that. Does anyone else see that its like a deflated baby?

Looking through her portfolio I have to say it is pretty impressive, Id rather see her have a show than Charm City she definitely has much more talent. Sorry to all hte fans but a cake decorator that uses rice krispies as a short cut is not one to me.

September 8, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMorgan

It is very interesting but I can't decide who it resembles the most: Author Truman Capote, North Carolina Senator Jesse Helms or composer Paul Williams.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Snort... best caption ever... tears are flowing, I'm rolling... wooo... hilarious.

thanks :)

September 18, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJannick R. Chr.

I actually went to this person web site to look at her cakes. And while I have to admit she can spin a frosting bag. She does not seem to have a grasp of what looks normal, fake or out and out creepy. Her animals are strange looking some huge dinosaur with eyes that look like they are human eyes. Then what got me was a BMW car cake with Happy 30th to Michael on it. You have to see the two people standing next to the car. One looks like a pimp and the other male is half the size dressed in pink shoes and a pink sports jacket and nothing else. I gave that five Whisk's for being just freaky and in poor taste. As far as the baby cake goes, give me the knife, anyone care for a slice.
Cheers,
Melanie
~Chef in a Box~

September 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChefinaBox

This cake will give me nightmares.

September 29, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

If it was red velvet I would totally eat it! Mmm... red velvet. Totally fits, though. XD

November 2, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPersephone

It looks like the offspring of a highly ill-advised union between E.T. and Mother Teresa.

November 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCactus Wren

URGENT MESSAGE TO ALL CAKE DECORATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cake is not sculpture. Anything you make is going to be eaten (unless it is such a wreck that no one will touch it.) IF IT CREEPS YOU OUT TO THINK OF EATING IT, DON'T MAKE IT OUT OF CAKE!
(If eating that wouldn't creep you out, you are sick)

November 21, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That cake has Fat Bastard written all over it lol.

"I ATE A BABY!"

November 23, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValirae

What would Duff Goldman say...

November 28, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDanamite

This brought to mind the old Tom Petty music video "Don't Come Around Here No More" which had an Alice in Wonderland theme. At the end, Alice became a life-size cake and they ate her. Well...at least THAT was fantasy. This is just...ew.

Gina

November 30, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Awww I think it's gorgeous!

December 4, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I went to this site, the woman who made this cake actually won an award for it!

January 1, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I watched the video. This woman is a genius. It's too bad she hasn't learned to use her power for good instead of evil. And what's with the 8 layers of fondant and a cake solid enough to carve, I'm sure it was "tasty."

January 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~M

Open your mind, Quaid. Open your miiiiiiind. Open youuuur miiiiiiiiiind. Ooopen your miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind!

January 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMike Watson

Ewwwwww! Reminds me of those dolls that really look like live babies. Maybe I'm alittle extra touchy since I went to an infant funeral 3 weeks ago.

And that music! I know Flight of the Bumblebee is used for speed, but that version just makes the video even creepier...

January 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMilton

Does this remind anybody else of Benjamin Button?

January 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I just found the link of how it was made lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFx2hSkuWk8

February 4, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteryasmel

It looks like a 70 year old baby.... it's too creepy to eat

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it wrong that I really want to eat a baby cake? I'm going to have to find one, and get some friends to help me eat it.

Mm, delicious youth!

March 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Benjamin Button???

March 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

my god, that is terrifying!

Anyone else think it looks like E.T.?
o.0

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I couldn't eat a baby! it's way too realistic

March 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

The cake maker got an AWARD for the cake,I wonder if the judges actually ate a slice,or declared her a winner at the spot so they wouldn't have to slice it up.

April 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

this is god-awful. lol. very well put together, but if someone presented this cake to me at a babyshower, I would be horribly frightened...

Reminds me of something some stand-up comic said about a newborn once. "That's not a baby, that's a junkie!"

May 3, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOrbitalDiamonds

Oh my. Is it sort of a voodoo cake? I'm not sure what anyone would have against a baby this young, but it's either a voodoo cake or someone trying to quit cannibalism cold turkey.

And to Sara: "I call the soft spot"? really? EWW!!

May 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTeh Krazeez

I'm not eating that thing, it's been dead too long. Euw.

June 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ugh, this is solidly in the Uncanny Valley.

June 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Ignoring the obvious squick factor...
After that much fondant, you may as well switch your artistic medium to Sculpey; at least then you won't have the ramifications of it being edible! (Not that I consider that much lightly-sweet crayon wax to be edible anyway...)

Call me old fashioned, but I would think cakes would have to be at least 51% actual cake by weight to be eligible for competition.

June 29, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindsey

I love the cake, but I just couldnt cut into it. i'd feel like I was committing a murder!
Linda Wadsworth

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda Wadsworth

I just showed this picture to my hubby and he said "is that Benjamin Button?" Hahaha...

July 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hi! Sorry, I know this is an old post... you must get enough comments to moderate as it is... but I just wanted to say how much I looooooooooooove your blog!

July 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeggin

Ok this is a VERY cool job. That being said - what's with that frigging eye?!?!?! Freaks me right the heck out.....

August 8, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterB.A.

Gives a whole new twist to the saying of having a baby in the oven, don't it?

September 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What is the material this thing is made of? Plasticene? Silicone?
I'm trying to imagine what would be firm enough and plastic enough to sculpt in this way, but still edible. Something tells me it would be like biting into a big chunk of sealing wax.

October 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

What is the material this thing is made of? Plasticene? Silicone?
I'm trying to imagine what would be firm enough and plastic enough to sculpt in this way, but still edible. Something tells me it would be like biting into a big chunk of sealing wax.

October 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Augh! *twitch* THE CAKE IS A LIE!!! (Portal reference for the win!)

October 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatK

Wow, watching that video was the longest 3:15 of my life! I looked down at the time-counter thinking it had been at least eight minutes! Thanks for giving me a laugh today. I found your blog from the Merci Beaucoup website.

October 29, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternancikay

Its Benjamin Button!

October 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney P.

When I saw this video it reminded me of the poem "Dreadful" from "Where the Sidewalk Ends" by Shel Silverstein. The last stanza goes:

"Someone ate the baby.
What a frightful thing to eat!
Someone ate the baby
Though she wasn't very sweet.
It was a heartless thing to do.
The policemen haven't got a clue.
I simply can't imagine who
Would go and (burp) eat the baby."

I also think the decorator's talents are impressive, but I wouldn't want to slice or eat that cake. (But I feel a little bad about eating chocolate bunnies and lamb cakes.)

November 2, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSally

it would be SO ironic if that cake was Red Velvet-flavored...

December 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersarahstoletheworld

The baby looks dehydrated or extremely aged for some reason. It looks as if it has been too long out in the sun. Doesn't look very healthy... If appetizing.

January 26, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEllyYuki

I've got to stop looking at these baby shower cakes - your comments are making me laugh so hard I'm forgetting how to breathe.

February 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

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