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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr122010

Don't Toy With Me, Man

It probably started innocently enough.

"Hey, let's add a little stuffed rattle to this design, as a free bonus!'"

"We all know how much babies like cake!"

Now, despite the fact that this design requires no decorating skills whatsoever, it does have the fatal flaw of being a cupcake cake. [hawww ptooiee!] Which means, more often than not, you're going to get something like this instead:

"What the heck is it?"

"Who cares? Look, a free baby rattle!'

So, they nixed the CCCs and started putting the little stuffed toys on mini-cakes:

The vicious Venus Monkey Trapcake snares another victim.

Then they really started to mess with us.

1) Just how big is this cake?

2) Conversely, how tiny is that stuffed lamb?

3) Whichever it is, did the Wreckerator really think that lamb effectively "filled the space?"

4) Why put a baby's stuffed animal on an engagement cake, anyway? It has nothing do to with the design! It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.
(Ok, that last bit could be wishful thinking on my part.)

Of course, just when you think a little stuffed lamb might be appropriate, like on a baby shower cake, they go and do this:

That is solid icing, y'all. "Suprise!" indeed.

(Yes, I know "suprise" is spelled wrong.)


But getting back to the stuffed animals: like goldfish, these things are growing to fill their containers:

Sensible? Sanitary? Sane?
Good questions, all.

But perhaps the most important question of all is: When future generations look back on the day the "fake fur fiber fad" began, will this be one of Wikipedia's illustrations?

"With its high levels of sugar, fat, and 'colon-cleansing synthetic fiber', the Plush & Flush Diet soon became an overnight sensation in the U.S."

Bill B., Caryn C., Becky, Lisa Z., Kristen F., Allie C., & Emily B., more on point (ballerina pun ftw!), when do they start plopping Xbox 360's on these things, with little icing borders? "That'll be $467.39, please. Oh, and if you want games, then you have to buy the cupcakes separate."

- Related Wreckage: Phony

« Once in a Lifetime Wrecks | Main | Sunday Sweets: Hope Springs Eternal »

Reader Comments (120)

Ooh! Stuffed animals on a cake? Now, that just gross! But still funny! :)

-Jenniffer
http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenniffer

Wow how funny..They were just so thoughtful in how they just threw the stuffed friends right on top on the cake!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

Seriously? That last one looks like it's a funeral for the stuffed bear to me.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

This may be the grossest thing (to me) that Jen has yet showed us. Try to clean the animal? ick. fur in your icing? ick.

Does it look to anyone else that the last toy died on the cake?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

How do they get all that icing off the fur???? Yuck!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterjaysmom

insane... so maybe it could work if done reallllly well, bu these not so much!

and the first cake, is actually kind of cute, in a wrekkie kind of way, though it's missing it's left ear.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

That's nasty. You have to wash the stuffed animal as soon as you get it.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDon't Click My Link

I... Why? The stuffed animal would have to be washed to get all the icing off before you could play with it. And they're never the same after a cycle in the washer and dryer--the fur gets all matted and blah. Give me a cake and a stuffed animal BESIDE it...

WV: reavise. "You didn't listen the first time, so I will reavise you to NOT PUT SOFT TOYS ON A CAKE"

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

I think the "solid icing" lamb is actually a molded rice krispie treat that has been decorated.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVivian

The tiny lamb cake is a baby shower kit. It is possible that those are the parents names. If it's on a full sheet cake, it could look that small. nevertheless, the wreckerator could have done a better job filling the excess space.

Also, major ew that they put the fuzzy bears on the cake. We NEVER do that at my store. (Yeah, I'm a store decorator but I'm proud to say this blog has made me better...fear perhaps?) The bears come with plastic trays for them to sit on but when you put the lid on the cake and force them to fall over, what's the freaking point?!?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshleigh

That last one looks like a teddy bear funeral! Yes, let's eat the casket and the deceased!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

"It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him."

This is why I start my mornings with this website. Thank you.

Also, the first cake, while requiring no decorating skill whatsoever, is still missing one ear. Bummer.

I wonder what is under the label on the "Suprise" cake. One would assume "girl," but maybe it's something much more shocking and that's the "suprise"?

Good "stuff" (har dee har har). Happy Monday!

--kate

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last one could be titled "Funeral for a Bear". I can't imagine trying to clean the icing out of animal plush, or being the least bit tempted to eat the piece of cake upon which the fuzzy thing rested!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Is it just me or does that icing lamb look like it got run over?

I've been keeping on eye on my local Safeway. They've started selling CCC's. None of them have been wrecks yet (mostly just imitating sheet cakes), but someday there'll be something hideous in there and I'll have my camera at the ready.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Gravekeeper

Plastic figures are one thing, but who in their right mind would want a stuffed animal...especially on buttercream! Freaks

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZach

Did any one else notice that cake #1 is missing an ear??- Emily

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterEmily

all I can think of is how do you get the icing off of the stufty?

...and I don't know where that Stufty has been!

~E

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErin

I really want to know what is written under the label of the Suprise! cake. "Suprise! Boy/______" It's a new fill in the blank game...

-Jenn

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

Suprise!
Boy/Girl

I love that one!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterA J

They're idiots!! The cakes are supposed to look like this

http://kuddablekakes.com/estore/store.php?Birthday-pg1-cid8.html

And anyone with a brain would let the customer put the stuffed animal on themselves.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"Plush & Flush Diet"! Love it!

Seriously, who wants to deal with icing on stuffed animal fur? or fur on icing? hairball!

"here, baby, just suck that right off. we'll put you in the tub when you're done cleaning your wittle icing covered bear/monkey/lamb."

Meanwhile, bear #1, while the least offensive looking, is missing an ear. How did THAT happen? it's flotsam! was the kit incomplete? did it fall on the floor?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Are we sure that Rosette is actually the sheet cake recipient's name and not a request for, well, rosettes?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNYCGirl

It's like the cake was being wheeled past and the little guy just hopped on Bruce Willis style, riding it out to freedom while the building exploded around him.

"Yippee-ki-yay, mother-wrecker!"

^..^

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

That is just gross. Who would want to eat a furry cake?!

I have to admit that first bear is a little bit cute though.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Doesn't every kid want a dead-teddy-on-a-pink-cake for his/her birthday?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The big one who is growing to fill his container? (Number 6) He won't be growing for long; there's a gun pointed right at him.

The fill-in-the blank boy/___ one reminds me of "Match Game '76".
(Google that one, for the young folks here.)

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterVickie Parker

Boy/Girl/Whathaveyou?

What's wrong with "Baby Jones" if they don't know which one, or if it's one of each, "Jones Babies"? I'm sure everyone has heard by shower time if it's twins...

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Some of your postings are funny; some just leave you scratching your head. I just don't get it - why would anyone put a stuffed animal on a cake? Wouldn't the fur get into everything, not to mention washing the icing out of the animal? Or maybe, since baby's put everything into their mouths anyway, this is a like one of those dog toys that you put treats in. It will keep the child busy for a long time sucking the icing off while the parents contemplate how did their lives come to this - the highlight of the weekend is a baby's birthday party.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Pedobear strikes again?

And who doesn't love washing a stuffed animal covered in gooey icing? A gift with a fun chore attached, and good preparation for what this kid's going to have you doing in no time too!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The stuffed animal cakes are a little like the "live fish" cakes. Just wrong on several levels. I'm afraid of what "cake decorating kit" suppliers will come up with next. I tried to think of something really clever to say here, but came up with big, fat nothing.

Oh, and people need to lighten up and "get the joke." We all know what the cakes are "supposed" to look like. That's what makes them wrecks. See?

WV: ringsa - "Ringsa 'round the lamb-y, pocket full 'o frosting/fur clumps..."
Yeah, I know it doesn't rhyme. It's still early.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarcy W.

I'm with Jennifer. I want to know what's after the slash on the "Suprise" cake. Yikes.

WV: smetic - to believe that smet can make a difference; antonym: anti-smetic.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJillyBiehn

Ewwww, stuffed animal fur and frosting is NOT a good combination.

I thought the first CCC was actually pretty cute, aside from the missing ear.

Also, I agree with Ashleigh - the cake for Rosette & Tom is a baby shower cake. Check out the ribbon around the sides of the cake.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

Just how I like my stuffed animals...sticky and crusty. Ew.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

In regards to the first picture, my favorite cartoon always was "poo bear!"

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremilysandlin

Oh yeah, please put a furry toy on top of my icing. That would be a wonderful "supise"

The last cake is way more of a dead teddy bear funeral than a birthday cake. Way to celebrate.

And Jen, your Bruce Willis/lamb reference cracked me up!

WV: comena- the bear is not dead, he is just in an icing comena

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterknitorpurl

while viewing this at my side, my 4 year old daughter broke out into spontaneous song..."Its a wonderful toy...no its not...but its a cute little toy...no its not." What does THAT tell you!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJ. P.

Thinking about the icing squished into the faux fur makes me cringe.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter~* Aria *~

All the plastic accessories in the world cannot help that second "cake" to look like a bear! And I just love the last cake...when in doubt drop a big ol' teddy bear on it. You won't have any trouble getting frosting out of the fur!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterflying gargoyle

I know it's missing an ear, but the first one is still the cutest CCC I've ever seen.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

Poor little Princess Ballerina Bear was frozen in time after she ate the wicked witch's apple. Perhaps one day her knight in furry armor will come to save her and break the spell.

http://cupcakevigilante.blogspot.com

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcake Vigilante

Imagine what would happen if a baby did get the cake and ate the toy!

HILARIOUS as always, thanx!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterScarlett Robyn

I might be wrong but the cake with the tiny lamb may be a double wreck. Rosette is an odd name, maybe it was supposed to be congratulations and a rosette & Tom. With a tiny lamb as it's Easter.

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterZoe

That last bear looks laid out for a funeral pier. Dearly departed...

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

On the first two, the real concern is the *placement* of the rattle...

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRob W.

That second pic brings to life a scary reality...

OCTOBEAR!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbobolium

The cake with the little lambie is perhaps both an engagement cake---and an explanation for the engagement. "yes, well...we have a, ah, tiny lamkins ah, in the oven." Clearly first timers; NEVER take home a THROAT-SIZED toy.

WV: dogg. Is that big icing creature really a frightened lamb or just a stunned poodle dogg?

Terrell

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNiteBabyNurse

Fur in my frosting. Sticky frosting on my new stuffed animal. Whose dumb idea was this!?

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJohn and Sarah Sperry

Perfect for leaving little synthetic hairs on the icing!

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJovi

Yuck.. that's like putting a used hair brush on a cake. (Tell me no one has done that.. please)

April 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterIndia Drummond

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