My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Get Me Holly Hobbie's Head on a Platter!

I guess its the camera angle, but every time I look at this cake I see a baby head wearing a giant bonnet. And yes, a body-less baby would be a little disquieting, but I think you could make the case that a Baby Burrito is just as bad. What's wrong with a Baby Burrito, you ask? Several things. Allow me to list them for you:

1) Ok, first off, check out the baby's expression. It's no easy feat to achieve a look that's both dead-eyed and horrified at the same time, but this baker just has those kind of skills.
2) Next, try to imagine the position the baby's body would have to be in to have his (it's supposed to be a boy - more on that in a minute) chin lying flat on the table and his body stretched out behind. Who needs that pesky spinal cord anyway, am I right?
3) Baby is packing some serious junk in the trunk: check out that badonk-a-donk rump*!
4) There are no arms. Which, come to think of it, might explain reason #1.

Part of why I love all your e-mail submissions, folks, is that I have the option of grilling you for more details. In this case, I had to ask for a little more explanation regarding the, er, display. Wrecks reader Katie explained that the blue & white blanket was added to, and I quote, "boy it up", since the general consensus was that the cake was too feminine. And that black thing? That's a duck whistle. Yeah. It was also added to be, and again I quote "another signifier of the male gender". Yeah - a duck whistle.

Katie C, your family rocks.

*My sincere apologies to all R&B artists, individuals under 25, and non-honky people in general for attempting to use "hip" slang. I promise it won't happen again.

« Drew's Birthday Wish | Main | By Show of Hands, Who Thinks We Should Call Child Protective Services? »

Reader Comments (60)

Reminds me of a cross between Baby Peach and Toad from Mario Kart...skeery stuff.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Do you watch SOUTH PARK? Remember the "Christina Aguilara Monster" from the Riddilin Episode? This reminded me of a green, cake-wrecked version of that....


June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVixenlyVenimous

OMG this is the funniest blog I have ever seen! Keep it up!

August 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarey

All I can think is that the baby's mouth looks like it would actually hold up the whistle, so you put it there and press down and the 'blanket' that conceals some sort of plastic dealy that squeaks. (Because hidden jetsam is more fun than the obvious kind.)

December 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I am new to this blog and thus reading all old entries...this one so far is the one that has caused me to laugh till tears are running down my face. I am trying to guess whether perhaps one of the parents is an alien and thus not familiar with human anatomy...? Also, that would explain the attempt to use a whistle to "boy it up." Huh? Do whistles=boys generally?
My final thought is that if the actual baby in question ever sees this picture years down the road, he won't really need to do talk therapy because he could just give the picture to therapist directly...and that will explain all....

January 26, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrascalmom

Is that the head from the baby butt cake lol. Ladies and gentleman we have a winner! x

October 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

I just found your site last week through a friend. I'm now a daily reader. Absolutely awesome! I know I'll get a laugh, or at least something to ponder, everyday.

November 7, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDocumentaries

I am a balloon,
fondant-wrapped, blankie-smothered,
and forced to whistle.

July 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

He has brown hair and thick black eyelashes? Who would put mascara on a baby boy, anyway?

August 1, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

Isn't it just a baby coming out of a stomach???!!!?!

August 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>