"Now let's kick it over to our newest Wrecks correspondent Violet, who is currently on location at her sister Ruby's third birthday party. Violet?"
"As you can see, there is airbrushing, hearts, garland, blobbular "rosebuds", and green leaves growing UP the "waterfall" - not to mention the fact that you have to clear off all the toys before you can even cut the thing! And don't get me started on those three '3' candles - I may only be 10 months old, but even I know that math doesn't add up."
"Wow, Violet, isn't that kind of harsh? I mean, the colors are pretty."
"Pretty? Pretty?!? Obviously you aren't seeing the matching Princess plates, napkins, cups, giftwrap... Do you see this hat I'm wearing, Jen?"
"No, it's a representation of the blatant over-commercialization that is running rampant in our society, that's what it is. Would you like to hear my dissertation on the breaking down of social conventions by the media barons?"
"Oh, look at the time! Sorry Violet, but we need to wrap this up."
"No problem; time for my nap anyway. Hey, Mom! Guess who needs a fresh diaper? Eh? Hey, what is that? Oh heck no, I am NOT wearing a Princess themed diaper! No, absolutely not! You're making a mockery of my beliefs, woman! Get that away from me!"
"That was Violet, my youngest Wreckporter, folks!"
Cassie F. (aka Mom), don't worry; she'll love that hat by the time she turns 3.