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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Sep282012

Random Weekly Roundup

Every week or so I sort through all the new submissions you guys have sent in. It's pretty fun, flipping through a random assortment of horror and hilarity all at once like that, so today I thought I'd share some of the ones from our latest batch that especially gave me the giggles:

 

Captain America Flees the Evil Laptop of Doom:

"Look out! IT'S ABOUT TO REBOOT!!"

 (Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a laptop. It's a...um...briefcase? Of doom?)

 

Call me old fashioned, but I usually like my weddings and baby showers to at least get their own cakes:

Ooh, hey, do you think after they finished playing "dirty diaper," the bride threw it over her shoulder to a waiting crowd of toddlers? (Whoever catches it will be the next one potty-traaaained!)

 

And speaking of parties, it looks like the Greens did the Time Warp at this year's "runion":

Hey, maybe they know the Browns! (You know, Doc Brown? Back to the Future? Oh, never mind.)

 

This next one isn't so much a wreck as it is my new favorite baker: Wreckporter Jen ordered a cake, and when asked what she wanted on it, she just said, "Surprise me."

This is what she got:  

SURPRISE!

 

And finally, if you've ever wondered at what point your baker needs an intervention, this is that point:

That, my friends, is a donut.

A donut with an ice-cream cone filled with solid icing crammed on top of it.

It's basically a sticky, loneliness-laced call for help. 

Better eat it quick, before it gets too depressing.

 

Thanks to Michelle B., Kayla N., Carlton H., Jen J., and Rivit for the 'screams.

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Reader Comments (92)

Nipples = Best. Wreck. Ever.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelagh

I want to meet the baker who did the nipples cake. It's AWESOME!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzieQ

From Game Stop to Cake Shop, I pick you, Pika-chu!!! And your HUGE shiny red NIPPLES!!!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeni-poo

I predict a nipple bunker will be needed today.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I do believe the 3rd cake says "Greer." Which may or may not be their name. I hope they enjoyed their Runion anyway!

Oh and the doughnut is possibly the most awesome use of a completely obscene amount of frosting I've ever laid eyes on! It's kind of cute to be honest, but I can't imagine wanting to eat it.

Nipples = hilarious. That's what you get for leaving a wreckerator to his/her own devices! Haha!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

Oh my word. Nipples.... I can't stop laughing.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmelia P.

Ice cream donut cake: There. Now it looks better.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

Sung to “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star”

Twinkle, twinkle frosted star
Hard to tell what flotsam are
Laptop or briefcase of DOOM
Either makes the Captain Zoom
Twinkle, twinkle frosted star
Hard to tell what flotsam are

Wink, wink , wink at R & K
Couldn’t wait for wedding day
They combined their registries
That’s efficiency to me!
Wink, wink , wink at R & K
Couldn’t wait for wedding day

Worm hole, worm hole Family Greer
Traveled to another year
Maybe they’ll be back this year
If they are, just watch your rear*
Worm hole, worm hole Family Greer
Traveled to another year

Nipple, nipple Pikachu
What that baker did to you!
I’d avoid the Pokemon
Until you put something on
Nipple, nipple Pikachu
What that baker did to you!

Donut, donut cry for help
Baker whimpers, moans and yelps
Eat it fast, too sad to see
Get some insulin for me?
Donut, donut cry for help
Baker whimpers, moans and yelps

*I had NO idea what runion meant until today
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Runion

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

oh boy ... note to self, never tell a baker to surprise me :O

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCynthia

a-hahaha!! hahaaa!!! *gasping for air*

The Pikachu nipples are awesome. How many opportunities does a person get to type "Pikachu Nipples?" Entirely not enough.

Pikachu Nipples Pikachu Nipples Pikachu Nipples. There. I am sated. ...for now. >_>

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Hah! That pokemon nipple cake made me actually laugh. But quietly, because my husband is still sleeping.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkingshearte

I REALLY want that last one. An ice cream cone filled with icing? Does it get any better?

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJeanette

I'm crying. Nipples is my new favorite.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRose D.

I don't think I'd have ever come up with the nipples of someone said "Surprise me." Kudos to the baker!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

If I ever get so depressed that a giant donut covered in icing with an icecream cone on top full of more pure sugar positively glowing with e-numbers looks appetising, just shoot me!

I predict the 'nippes' baker will go far - sheer brilliance!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

I would probably buy the pikachu cake

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine M

I think the briefcase is the powerful MacGuffin from "The Avengers." So it's actually pretty apt, if oversized. And Cap shouldn't be running away from it.

Maybe the 1912 cake is just very well preserved.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClassic Steve

I know it's been said...but I want to be friends with the "nipple" baker...ALMOST as much as I want to be friends with the writers of this illustrious blog :)

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCCasey

"Nipples" made my day! It's a classic, right up there with the baby carrot jockeys. There are not enough snarky cakes in the world.

Meanwhile, it occurs to me that the misspelling issue has a deeper, more disturbing aspect to it. Because, when you think about it, the vocabulary required for cake inscriptions is really quite small. These Wreckers must write words like "Anniversary" several times a day. Which means that, even with all with that practice, they still screw it up. Jen, you should do a Letterman-style Top Ten Words A Decorator Should Know How To Spell post.

Also, now I want baby carrot jockeys with nipples!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShelby G.

Then again, maybe the Greer family has a single person with the surname "Runion", and they just wanted to acknowledge that...?

Oh wow, that is a real sugar cone on that Long John, isn't it?

I sing "cream", you sing "cream", we all sing "cream" for icing cream!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

The donut: It's the birthday cake for those that don't have time to sit down and eat both cake and ice cream - just combine the two!

...admittedly, if I weren't allergic to milk, I'd so eat that happily. Team Icing!!!!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterisabella

Of course they don't know the Browns. They weren't Browns in 1912. As clearly stated in BTF3, when Doc's family migrated to America, they were the von Brauns (possibly a subtle allusion to Vernher von Braun). His mother changed her name after the first World War to disassociate herself from Germany, a nation many despised at the time. Yes, I'm a dork. Don't be hatin'. :D

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAshley P

Ash was far too ashamed to continue his quest to become Pokemon Master.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Former CB

Ohhhh....that Pikachu cake will have me giggling at inappropriate times for the next couple of days.

And the laptop (or briefcase).....of DOOM!!!!! Beware the blue screen of death!!!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

Somehow I was picturing a Runion as a short marathon with everyone carrying, wearing, or otherwise being onion-bedecked. Trying to formulate that in a witty response, while scrolling down...
Nipples?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(sniff)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCybrczch

Usually when I check out this blog while eating, I do a quick glance to make sure I won't get grossed out. OK for today.

Unfortunately, when I got to the Nipples cake, I had a few bites of pear in my mouth. Thankfully, I avoided asphyxiation during my screams of hysterical laughter.

Oh, and then Sharyn had to post her song. And the link to the definition of "runion." My, that must be one happy, time-travelin' family!

And the donut with frosting: if depressed and ate this, you'd die of a sugar coma. Best way to go!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

The nipple cake? Disturbingly awesome!
The icing cream donut? That one makes my teeth hurt o_O
And Sharyn, you have done it again! "Nipple, nipple Pikachu" Bahahahahah

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

The "nipples" cake looks like a Dairy Queen ice cream cake.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLouise

The Pikachu cake makes me ridiculously happy :D

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMadTigerKitty

1. Is the Cap playing against the Laptop of DOOM on some sort of basketball court or baseball field? Clearly I need to watch Captain America and/or Avengers again, because I just don't get it. : - )

2. I must know what it says just to the left of "Randy & Kayla"! There's something written there....3Hl? Is that the time? 3:41? The date? 3-11?

3. I hope, Sharyn, that this Family Runion is in reference to the Greer's ancestor, the very large Norwegian lumberjack. The other definitions are just unappetizing.

4. My favorite part of this cake is the arrow!

5. What? I don't think Americans have a problem with portion size at all.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I'm with Jeanette and isabella. I totally want that donut (wonder if it comes in chocolate...with more sprinkles).

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterM. Dale

Nipples!

I laughed so hard my 3 year old said, "WHAT?"

I'm going to be giggling over that one for days.

Thank you, Jen, you just made my day.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAimee

I heart any baker who comes up with Pokemon nipples when told "surprise me". It's goofy and surreal and smart-alecky and fricking hilarious.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAnna Nimous

Nipples. Heh. Love it.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Ok - I'm jumping on the nipple band wagon. Sweet baby Jesus is that funny! I've put some weird things on cakes - most requested by customers - but never have I seen that. So much love. I want to know who made that cake so I can send them business haha!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLauren

Sharyn, excuse me if I don't make a lot of sense here, but... Oh my!... I can't even... words fail... Why did you suggest to my brain the idea of discovering what "runion" means?! I never would have thought to investigate that on my own, and now I can't un-know it. It does give a whole new aspect the the question of whether they know the Browns, though.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

Now I need to know, Jen; did you know what a runion was before this? Really, I can't think of many things that would be more of a surprise than Pikachu with bright red nipples on your cake, but I think the runion might do it!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

I almost peed my pants when I saw the surprise cake! I've not commented before...but this one couldn't go by without letting you know that a leather chair is hard to wash pee out of.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErika

Delurking to share this story which you may find amusing.

I'm a receptionist. I answer phones all day. I look at cake blogs in my down time. I had opened this post and was reading and surreptitiously snorting and giggling. The phone rang, and I picked it up just as I got to the pikachu cake....

Luckily, I was able to pretend I had a coughing fit so no one was insulted.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Thank you for the nipples cake! My in-laws are coming this weekend and I really needed a laugh. That did it! Totally inappropriate burst of giggles this weekend while I think of random, video game, nipple wearing characters. So needed.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRaven

Seriously. The picachu wreck made me laugh harder than I have in weeks.
...I work in the mid-East. From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU for that and GOD BLESS THAT BAKER.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJohn Daniel

The Nipples cake just got me busted at work. I really should stop visiting this site at work.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterExChef

O.M.G....hahahahahahahaha...Nipple Cake...hahahahahahahahahaha.... I. can't. breathe.
:::deep breath::: hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdhoosierswife

Who is the baker who did the nipples cake? I want to order a cake from there and say "surprise me" and see what I end up getting.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRosalie

Uh, Ashley P? You're among your fellow dork/nerd kind here. :-)

I love that Pokemon cake--Pikachu is so well-executed, yet *wrong* in such a...good way, I guess. I know that I want to be friends with that baker.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelindaB

Oh Sharyn, you make my Cakewrecks experience complete <3

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLis

The "Nipples" cake is among the funniest wrecks I've ever seen on cake wrecks. I'm a long time cake wrecks reader, so that's definitely saying something.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMark A

The only thing that would make the Pikachu cake better is if there were teeny tiny little piercings.

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSamMac

I think the ice cream donut should have been given out as a party favor at the combo baby shower/wedding party. It would make as much sense as having just one cake for both events.

The nipple cake is priceless. Hopefully, it wasn't for a kid's birthday party!

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJill

Ermahgerd! Nerples!!

PLEASE tell us who that baker is! He/she should get the award for Best Baker Ever. :-)

September 28, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterClaudia

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