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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Jan052009

Why Football & Bridal Showers Don't Mix

The happy couple-to-be chose his (yes, his) favorite football team's colors for the bridal shower cake, resulting in...well, this:

I'm not sure which is worse: the color scheme or the smashed floral squid-like creature lurking on top, its rosy tendrils poised to snag any unsuspecting guest who strays too close. ("Oh, look, hon! They spelled it right and everythin...AAAUGGH! It's got me! Getitoffgetitoff -HELP!!!)

Despite my dizzying array of sports knowledge, I'm afraid I don't know which football team out there dresses in orange, purple, and pale puke green. Any ideas, Ashley W.?

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Reader Comments (113)

The Vikings are Purple and White; The Bears are Navy Blue and Orange. So Neither of those...

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If the roses were blue instead of purple, it would look like a Denver Broncos cake. Except, you know...hideous.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

I have no coherent thoughts on this cake. Can't put my finger on precisely why... but it makes me giggle uncontrollably!!

WV: hesse

"Get that cake away from me, you hesse!"

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Are you sure it's not supposed to be Cthulhu?

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As a Clemson alum I'm sad to see my poor Tigers colors depicted in such a horrible cake. Go Tigers!?

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yep, purple & orange + EXTREMELY tacky = Clemson Tater cake.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

My first thought was also that it must be the MN Vikings. Although I can't think of a single Vikings fan I know that would tolerate such an ugly cake.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn.L.Sweeney

Well it's funny how this cake is interpreted by different fans. It is possible that the wreckerator(and designer) is color blind but I am hoping that this is truely a misrepresentation of the intended design and colors and hope no one would request something this bad.

WV: Stawship - how this cake arrived on earth for all you trekies out there.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPenny

Got to be a clemson fan..... purple and orange....and well i can't explain the flower arrangement on the cake..I guess they didn't know when to stop.
Oh yea, a rose bud for aunt jane, oh and the next door neighbor's, daughter's, step child, oh yea and......

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Saw the colors, the sports theme and the "best wishes" and figured it was a "best wishes next year" for whatever team it represented. It looks rather morbid to me, and definately not something I would want to try to start a marriage out on a happy note with.

WV: younshes. As in "You-n-shes gonna exchange words over this one."

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjengersnap

Can you imagine what someone's mouth would look like after eating a piece of that?!?! You'd probably have to have your teeth sanded to remove the stains.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthepipers

That has Clemson written all over it.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRonnica

I think it's UVA, and that purple is supposed to be navy blue. The puke color is because everyone at UVA is a despicable drunkard.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPrivate Ivy

Private Ivy,

I was totally gonna reject your comment since it's a touch on the mean spirited side but than I thought, hey, if ya gotta insult somebody, do it with style!

I like to use "purveyor of bufoonery" or "dastardly scalawag."

john

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjohn (the hubby of Jen)

On my BlackBerry the icing colors are orange and blue. On my desktop the colors are orange and purple. Maybe I should power up my laptop for a tie-breaker.

I love maryjack at 11:26 going all hostile for Clemson colors. Boy, mention football on this site and you better up your life insurance policy.

OMG... word verification is "colur." I'm dyin if I'm lyin.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Jen, keep in mind that Clemson is in "Death Valley"....

and those are definitely Clemson colors....the green I think we can attribute to "artistic license".

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterReam O Rama

Most certainly a Clemson cake. Only a Clemson fan would have this much pride for a mediocre team. That's right... I said it.

Go Dawgs

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Spouse is a Clemson University grad, and if he saw that THING, he would weep. Purple and orange, yes. Sherbet and blueberry sorbet, no.

What a mess.

Word verification: boledess. A female boled.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

Those look like flower kabobs!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

YOU PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ONE THING: SHE ALLOWED IT TO HAPPEN!

RUN BRIDE RUN....

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckster

All I've gotta say is that whoever eats this is going to have some AMAAAAAZING colored poop..lol

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterspyderpenguin

It reminds me of the Springfield Meltdowns...

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Abbyness

It is most definitely purple and orange and it most definitely for Clemson.

That in no way, shape or form resembles Gators orange/blue - although I'd love to blame this atrocity on Florida, that's all South Carolina.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

My high school colors were orange and blue. *cringes at the memory*

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShanti

i can't see any green!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I can't be the only person who sees an egg beset by streams of purple sperm here...

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichaela

I don't have an opinion on which team the cake represents, but I have to confess that I once carved a Denver Broncos jack-o-lantern.

Word verification: yashir. "I want sprinkles." "Yashir."

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteroddharmonic

It's gotta be a Clemson cake. It's way too tacky to belong to anybody else! And can I just say how excited I am that a Clem$#% (it's a curse in my house) fan ended up with a Cake Wreck on their table?!?
Go Gamecocks! THE University of South Carolina

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

John, I am a UVA alum and we do not consider it an insult to be called a despicable drunkard. It is actually a compliment, and entirely accurate. Private Ivy and I have probably sung "The Good Old Song" together... ;o)

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWahoowa

Totally the Denver Broncos, based on all the "If God's not a Bronco's fan, why are sunsets orange?" bumper stickers displaying the 'blue' mountains at sunset; and my confidence that the greenish color is that of our state tree- the Colorado Blue Spruce- which is of course visible during sunsets.... if you're standing right next to some, with a flashlight.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy.mangos

It kinda looks purple and gold to me. I'm thinking LSU?
Kitti from Baton Rouge, LA

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKitti

no way that's the purple and gold of the vikes, joyce. poor call!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow! Rose kabobs on a cake!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

Looks orange and blue to me... I'd say broncos... and denverites are crazy enough to do something like that! (Spoken by a true denverite)

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScooter

Is that what happens with a UT guy and TCU girl get together....and have a baby that goes to Baylor? Although the bridal shower is a bit early to be havin babies, or am I just old fashioned?

btw- I love cake prostitutes!

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie M.

I want the approximately 5x5" "rose piece" in the center.

MMMMMMMMMM.

I will close my eyes so I don't have to see the color. Then I will smile at everyone with my blue or purple teeth.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

Ummm purple and gold would be the Vikings. Blue and orange would be the Broncos. Purple and orange? No clue.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

ROTFLMAO at the Gators guess. Maybe it is not a wreck, I must say that such an ugly cake is perfect for the Gators :)

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfuzzandfuzzlet

OKAY, TO SETTLE THE FIASCO:

The colors are purple and orange! I submitted this cake, and the colors are most definitely purple and orange.

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAshley W.

Is anyone else getting dizzy staring into that flowery sunburst?

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDistressful Damsel

I found an orange at the bottom of a Christmas fruit basket. I thought the cake was a tribute to rotten oranges everywhere. Eww..I can almost smell that moldy overripe orange stench.

wvotd bayan..."we'll increasing your dose of litin. You'll soon be resisting the urge to clash icing and table cloth colours in a few days."

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Ick Purple and Orange only mean one thing in SC and that is Clemson. As a Carolina fan, I find these colors to be absolutely hidious. :)

January 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

Geez, I would have thought this was a Halloween cake, really. Orange, purple and green are the classic Joker combination.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVellum

Purple and Gold? Clemson College, University of Washington...

Ugly!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered Commenter~E

I'm willing to bet it's Clemson! Orange and Purple, and the fans are nuts.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

Arrrrrrrrrrrgh. Looks so... offputting. I don't think i'd want to eat it.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMad Izatie

Definitely Clemson.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Now that is a cake that should have been submitted to your flu/virus challenge.

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's Clemson -- my hometown!

January 6, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hey. The purple and gold that the UW Huskys use look good together. Not like this Kraft macaroni and cheese too-much-cheese-powder orange and almost electric blue "purple."

January 7, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

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