My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Chappy Chanukah

Carly e-mailed yesterday to chastise my current completely-Christmas collection of carnage. She asked that I share some equal-opportunity Wreckage for my Jewish homies to "enjoy."

Now, I can only work with what I'm given, so please don't take my excessive postings of Santa and Frosty and Poo-dolph as any kind of religious bias. Believe me, I will snicker equally at Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and even Winter Solstice Wreckage if given the chance.

Trouble is, those holidays just don't score many cakes. Still, let's see what we've got in the ol' Wrecks files, shall we?

[shuffle shuffle shuffle]

Ok, here's something: how about a little clashing blue icing, plastic flotsam, and an "ak"?:

I would make a crack about the KKK hiding out in "Hanukkak," but I think that might be construed as bad taste.

Still, could be worse, right? Can you imagine what would happen if a Wreckerator tried to draw the menorah or Star of David or dreidel?

Nah, me neither. But that's ok: I have examples. Heehee!

Here we have some (Ninja) Stars of David:

Yep, that's the trouble with tracing. Still, if you think of this as a Jewish Ninja's celebration cake, then it's actually pretty darn cool. (See, they're off to the side because they're in motion. Eh?)
(And yes, I double-checked: it's professional.)

Unfortunately I couldn't find a good dreidel Wreck - but I think this "Menorah" more than makes up for it:

Time to light the alien ribcage!

So to all my Jewish readers: Happy Hanukkah! Please send more Wrecks.

And in the meantime, I think people of all nations and beliefs can come together, get along, and enjoy spectacles like this:

"Who's laughing now, fat boy?!?"

Speaking of ninjas, Seisen, Jennifer, Beth C., & Jenna W., have you seen the ninja nursery John & I painted for our friends? Granted, it has nothing to do with cakes, but I get the feeling this is the right demographic for that sort of thing.

- Related Wreckage: Goy Gaffes

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Reader Comments (128)


December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterttiwedlj

Alien ribcage! That made me giggle.
It's that time of year when the aliens light their enemys' ribcage.
So festive!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it just me, or do those reindeer heads on the cupcakes strongly resemble Shrek??

I've decided I just don't want to know......

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichelleP

Yikes. I shudder to think what "professionals" come up with for Kwanzaa.

Hmmm, sounds like a scouting mission to me!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNikki

The alien rib cage made my day!

Wow, great job on that nursery! Maybe my husband will finally come around to the thought of having children if I allow a ninja nursery. If it looks like one you did this would be one compromise I wouldn't be ashamed to make.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnne

*snickers* Alien ribcage... nice one. :P

Great job on the nursery! :)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Jewish Ninja? Kobayashi! (Random sprite comic reference.)

Those cupcakes scare me for some reason though.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Blue poo. Huh.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

Ah, Chanukah, that special time of year when we eat latkes, spin the dreidel, and throw the ninja Star of David!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFanboy Wife

If you hadn't told me that was a Menorah, I would have sworn it was a rib cage and part of a spine.

Ninja Nursery: Great paint job. But do you really think pictures of hired assassins are appropriate for a nursery room?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Love the alien ribcage. I thought my husband was going to explode with laughter.

Honestly, though, I think it's just about impossible to beat last year's "Star of Irving".

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLady Anne

I like to think that the Santas and reindeer are all bundled up in their blue snuggies.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, I have never seen cupcakes with more frosting than cake! I've seen a really high ratio of frosting to cake, like 40%/60%, but i've never seen the percentage tip in favor of the frosting!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

Wow! Someone made a cake representing the ribcage building here in Utrecht! Awesome!

Oh, wait ...

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteroranjeflamingo

I don't know what is so funny about the last picture. Santa and his reindeer are bundled up in Snuggies. Last years hot gift.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAl, Wendy, Max, and Lil

...and this is what happens when Santa makes a wrong turn and ends up in a swamp somewhere sinking in quicksand. Blue quicksand, I might add.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

WTF gray icing and plastic heads. WTF.

I'm not a pro, so if I somehow screw up and wreck my solstice cake (not likely anyway lol) you don't get to laugh at me. neener.

Honestly, it'll probably just have holly icing decorations on the borders, a wreath in the middle, and "Happy Yule." I might make the icing peppermint flavored. No Spasto-Claus, Scary the Snowman, etc. I always thought that stuff was cheesy.

Your happy-clappy neo-pagan food loving friend,

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

BTW, just for the record, the plastic flotsam on the first one is printed backwards. The letters are mirror images of what they should be.


December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteryberry

The unfortunate color choice for the 'flame tips' on the menorah candles made my gutter mind think of something else..... more likely to be used in the adult film industry.........
gak, I'm awful!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterM

By the way, Jewish ninjas exist. Technically, I was one this year for Halloween. I'm wearing a yarmulke, you just can't see it. Right. Uh. Yeah.

/shameless plug for an AWEsome costume.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJeremy

OMG that ninja nursery is the CUTEST THING EVER!

Next, I want to see a PINK little girl version!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

OMG! That Ninja nursery ROCKS!

I loved the *alien ribcage*, thanks for the giggles this morning

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That third cake--the 'ribcage' cake, looks way too phallic for me. LOL

~Amy B-H

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

This blog is seriously hilarious! And I am in total envy of that nursery... I think I want to re-do my son's room!

And no, I don't think having hired assassins on the wall of a nursery is any more strange than having beasts that could maul you... aka - lions, tigers and bears... or, so help me, classic Pooh Bear (RETCH!)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Oh that nursery is completely fan-freakin-tastic! Love it. Come do mine next? Oh wait, I don't have a'll do my bedroom right? ;) Keep the wrecky goodness coming!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

Bwahahaha! The throwing stars of David!

Thanks for the equal opportunity for mocking as everyone attempts to find cakes suitable for celebrating this month-- we're all in it together, after all! Happy Hanukkak!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

At first my boyfriend and I thought the dreidel on the first cake was a cannon.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

"I have a little dreidel, I made it out of...misprinted plastic flotsam?"

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OMG, I loooooove your Ninja nursery! Do you have a blog for the things you've painted? (And I totally think Ninjas are appropriate for a nursery, not every nursery has to be teddy bears and hearts.)
Great post too, The alien ribcage really cracked me up!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenni

Cake 3--I was picturing a fence post or multi-armed creature, angel (like the German Christkind?) or something opening up for an embrace.

But lighting up an alien ribcage? HILARIOUS! Bravo!

Plus, the Jewish stars are red instead of blue. duh. and how strange--rudolph and santa look so peaceful drowning in their "hannukkah blue" icing whirlpools. Or maybe their at a spa getting ready for the big day wrapped up in nice, engulfing towels.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

also, the plastic fltsam in picture 1 is backwards- the letters are reversed.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

It's times like these that I wish Muslims decorated their cakes. Unfortunately, you can't tell the cakes (or any of the food) is a wreck.. until you taste it. :O

Also, LMAO @ the rib cage. How could that person think that's acceptable?!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

*snicker* Alien ribcage - priceless! My mother who is only semi-pro (used to long time ago in a galaxy far-far-away make pro cakes) could do a better job on menorahs and dreidels, and she's not even Jewish!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! In the last wreck it looks like the reindeer in the front has leaned over to crack a *toot* and splattered blue poo all over the santa behind him!!! AH HA HA HA! =)

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

If you're going to have Hanukkah cake wrecks, where is Sandra Lee's Star of Hanukkah cake. Not only is it a wreck, it's not even kosher.

Oh, and don't forget she made a Kwanzaa cake too, and the video for that is floating around on youtube.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStefanie

Thanks for posting some Chanukah wrecks!
I'd love to see more, if this gets them rolling in, especially since the holiday begins tomorrow night.
I was hoping you'd post something!!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterG6

This seems so much worse than wrecking Santa, in part because the occasion is so much more closely tied to a particular religion. Santa seems so much more secular, it doesn't feel nearly so painful. (Well, it does, but for different reasons, anyway.)

Once in a while, I see a Christmas card or something trying out a religious tie-in, depicting Santa paying homage at the manger of the infant Jesus. And all I ever can think about is how he seems severely overdressed.

I am waiting for a cake version of this.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Alien ribcage made my day.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

@oranjeflamingo--WTF? is that a chiroparactor's office or something? great pic. good reference. thanks for sharing! maybe the cake is for a Chiropractor Christma party.

I can't imagine anyone mistaking that ribcage for a menorah. except the wreckerator of course.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoanne

That is a really disgusting amount of frosting on those cupcakes.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatherine

@ Miranda with the pagan solstice cake--make sure you use poiple icing!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

@M--OMG! it's definitely a multi-phallus robotic dildo in the adult film [insert appropriate title here], capable of satisfying many at the same time....*shudders in horror*

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The nursery is outstanding! Great job!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The menorah cake image reminds me of an old fantasy/mythology movie (can't remember the name), where the bronze, multi-armed statue comes to life to attack the hero. This is sort of an abstracted version. Didn't the decorator even look at a picture before attempting the image?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKim

LOL - I was thinking the same thing when I saw the alien ribcage.

RE: Nursery- I wondered how a ninja theme was going to work, but it is beautiful. Coolest. nursery. ever.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblueiguana

I wonder if straight-jacketed Santa says a lot about the baker's emotional state, all without words.

Because Christmas = Wonder?

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I say you in People! Way to go!

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLollipoplin

OMG. *eureka moment* I had no idea that hannukkah is celebrated by aliens. the evidence is all here. the alien ribcage menorah, the weaponry (maybe it's an alternative to lasers unless the menorah suggests that too). PLUS, by saying Happy HannukkAK reminds me of the "Mars Attacks!" move where the aliens speak by saying "Ack Ack Ack!"

So, "Happy" HannukkAK! Ithink....

WV putdult: A really bad miniature golf player.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That menorah looks more like they were trying to replicate this:

But even then, it's done poorly.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

If you google "Sandra Lee Kwaanza cake," you will see it described as an edible hate crime.

Here is a list of her top ten worst cakes I found:

Should be some kind of Ig Nobel prize for her, because they'll make you laugh, then make you think...

Oh, wait, those are usually given to people who at least do some research about what they're doing.

December 10, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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