My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen

Valentine's Variety

Because hearts and roses and bears are SO last week, here are some... interesting... alternatives.

For the cat lover: a neon pink, vaguely feline amorphous blob, sporting what I can only assume is some kind of euphemism:

"I'm 'purrin' for you"? Do I want to know, Gabrielle H.?
(And Victoria, Anna, & Benjamin!)

For the Star Wars fan: a cake showing Admiral Ackbar's softer side:

"Don't believe him, Haley B.; it's a trap!"

And for you non-Star Wars geeks, this is Admiral Ackbar:

For the H.P. Lovecraft fan: a Valentine's Cthulhu:

What's a Cthulhu, you ask? Eh, wellll, it's a kind of gigantic hideous tentacled thing, known to be the epitome of evil and horror. And as you can see from Melissa O.'s photo, it also comes in plush!

Speaking of plush...

I don't know what this is, Aliza E., but I think I want one. Whether I would hug it and squeeze it and call it George or actually ingest it, though, is anyone's guess.

And here's a Valentine's treat for the...uh...emotionally constipated?

That's it, Ted S., let it allll out.

Well, it's no fungus cake, but it'll do: I'm skipping breakfast.

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Reader Comments (138)

Love the Bugs Bunny reference in your post. That pink thing is quite cuddly!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

Heh, I think the first cake cake was suppose to be 'I'm purrfect for you', but someone stepped back, took a good look, and couldn't bring themselves to go through with it.

The third one looks it's suppose to be butterfly that started out as a snowman drawn by a four year old with a love for green crayons...uhm, yeah, let's go with that.

I like the shag rug monster or the koosh ball monster cake, whatever it is.

I'm sure the original cake design the new hire was trying to copy looked lovely, but there's no excuse for a turd butterfly. Good lord, get a plastic knife and do a little 'plastic surgery' before you put that thing out in front of the public eye.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

The pink fuzzy thing reminded me of something off some TV show aimed at the under 5 group.
The last one was just gross, and part of the reason I'm slightly Anti-Valentines.

Do you have any with hearts and skulls? LOL
~Amy B

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

While it's not a cake - yet - this Cthulhu would be much easier to translate to cakedom. Perhaps with cupcakes.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMJS

Well, it's obvious to me that the pink furry one was made for Breast Cancer Awareness. Even Cookie Monster will turn pink for a good cause.

The others ... yikes.

By the way, I've always wondered: How do you pronounce Cthulhu?

Word verification: plonagra. These decorators should be sent over plonagra falls in a barrel.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScritzy

I don't know, the love bug cake (the pink, hairy one w/ cookies in its mouth) is kind of cute. I would buy it...

...though I'm also heavily medicated at the moment. Perhaps they should put "do not shop for cakes" on this bottle too.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNipponElla

Um, these cakes definitely DO NOT make the feel the love...

But I am showing some love on my blog! In honor of Valentine's Day, I did a post ( blogs that I *love* and you're on that list! Thanks for keeping me laughing!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Awww cumon I kinda like the pink fuzy one. Although I'd probably keep it as a pet rather than eat it.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDani

ummmm, I'm not a doctor but by the looks of that "poo" someone should get themselves checked out!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristy Bishop

I think the pink one is Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter, from MST3K:

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Jo looks like...oh no forget it! Awful! And the octopus? Nothing says I love you like an octopus cupcake cake!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthezeninyou

I love the Cthulhu cake and the fuzzy pink monster! To me those aren't's just that they're targeted to a specific customer base. ;)

That is not dead which does eternal lie, and with strange eons, even death may die.

As for the rest: Oh dear. :/

Was Admiral Ackbar intended to be a teddy bear or a white monkey?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

Hmmmm...I thought the Admiral Ackbar was a Dancing Bear, as favoured by Grateful Dead fans. (I called them Dead Bears until hubby fussed at me.)

That buTURDfly looks a lot like the hairball our cat gacked up this morning.

WV: ressept - how some wreckorator might hose up Aretha's anthem..."R*E*S*S*E*P*T..."

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterp jane

I Love Baby Quilts! said... Wow, that decorator really nailed Admiral Ackbar!

Too bad that's not what they were going for. ;)

Also, am I a bad person for thinking of that last cake as a "bu-turd-fly"?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjackie31337

Add my vote for "tribble" :)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGaladriel

I think #4 is a love bug. Very cute. I want to squeeze it. And the butterfly cake does not inspire fuzzy feelings

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterToriisen

Wasn't that Lenny in "Of Mice and Men" that said "I will hug him and squeeze him and call him George"?

They should have written on the poo cake, so everyone would know that it was supposed to be about deep love and adoration. Something like "I am devoted to poo" or maybe "I am poossionate about you".

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterStuffCooksWant

I say "cuh-thoo-loo". But I'm from Alabama, and we're notorious for our "interesting" pronounciations.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMissCritta

For how to pronounce Cthulhu (or what it is, for those who don't know):
In short, it's from an alien language and no human has the vocal apparatus to render it accurately. Anyway, it's likely you wouldn't want to render it accurately. It would probably just make you go insane or something. Dead Cthulhu waits, dreaming, and trust me, you do NOT want to wake him up.

Cthulhu was once described as "the green, sticky spawn of the stars." I'm pretty sure that's what this wreck was going for. They sure got green and sticky.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC

Oh, my god. A Cthulhu cake - where can I get one?! And do they come in Nyharlothotep?

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterShelley

The pink fuzzy cake looks like one of the puffles from "Club Penguin."

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristine

That pink fuzzy thing looks like it would
A: tickle.
and B: warm my footies.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeagan

"It's a trap!!"

Made my day. :)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlex


February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSandi

It's horrible. I am such a 3rd grader when it comes to cake wrecks. The poo cakes make me laugh hysterically every single time.

The close-up was an especially nice touch.

And I think that the fuzzy red thing definitely looks like a baby Gossamer.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I wuvs the pink one even if it does resemble fuzzy slippers eating valentine cookies.

The other, ick.

The turd cake looks like a G.I. emergency resulting from a ruptured hemorrhoid.

wv: G. I. emergencies as detailed on the turd cake can be avoided with regular use of Regolo, a high fiber supplement.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

I thing the pink fuzzy monster is a "weepul". These are fuzzy balls with big paper feet and googely eyes. They are typically given out as prizes for magazine drives at schools. When I was in school, students would earn anywhere between 1 and 50 of these depending on how many magazines they sold. The bottoms of the feet were adhesive so they stuck to everything. Thanks for the memory!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The butterfly can double as both pollinator and fertilizer! Fly about, pollinate and fall into the soil as fertilizer...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPuanani

Having a new puppy who leaves us "presents" everywhere, I don't think I'll be eating anything that looks like your last creation entry today!

Blog crawlin' today, and will mention your fun place in my Findings Report tomorrow to my good readers/followers. :)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAngie Ledbetter

Oh wow Mel - Thanks for the fun flashback to the early 80's. I had forgotten about weepuls. I had those things stuck everywhere: notebooks, lockers, desks, etc.
I really want the pink fuzzy cake now!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNashvilleJen

The pink fuzzy thing looks like cookie monster! Maybe his girlfriend?? eating those yummy heart cookies lol..

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal

I think the cute fuzzy thing is a Love Bug!!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTanner

OMG - the pink cat *does* look like ChooChooBear. Must send a link to Randy!

The green Cthulu I think...maybe...might be a frog? *shudders* Just what I want to eat on my cake, an amphibian. It's as bad as Admiral Ackbar.

As for the fuzzy thing, I thought it looked like one of the monstors on PacMan!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJodith

I am sure that others have posted this by now, but the pink fuzzy one is clearly a tribble. And I'm so sad that your inner geek girl did not see it.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTalula

Wow, I must be pretty twisted; my first glance at the one you've labeled as a Star Wars cake, all I saw was a vulva with a baby albino sloth coming out!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChelly

Was anyone else disappointed the first one didn't say "I'm purrin FUR you."

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJuliet

The other day we were all hoping to see the "blue poo" photo that resulted from eating the heinously blue cake...well, after seeing the Cthulhu cake, I think I can fill in the blanks!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo-Anne

The pink thing is totally Nummymuffincoocolbutter (from MST3k), as has already been mentioned. I'm sure it tastes just divine. Perhaps Nummy is a kind of Schmoo...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNeb

The pink fluffy thing is either a "love bug" or a chuzzle. I vote for chuzzles - only because they are cute a squeak when you squeeze them. Chuzzle is a game, but you can also get little tiny stuffed ones, and, yes, they do squeak!

see chuzzles here:


February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought the cat blob cake said "I'm purrrving on you"...

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdarkshines

I can't believe nobody has mentioned Fry-Guy as a possibility for what the pink fluffy cake resembles. Or maybe a fry-gal considering the color? Surely there are people on here who remember the crazy McDonald's characters from the 80's! Either way, cute cake but it makes my teeth hurt thinking about eating it!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKelly H.

With the last one, is that a butterfly? Haha! =D

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Tribbles don't have eyes! I vote for a pink Pacman critter or a fuzzy footstool.

The Cthuhlu ccc -- of course he's happy. just guess eating what all that green ichor will do to you.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

My daughters reply to the "butterfly" was What a crappy butterfly! LOL I love her sense of humor!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterClarissa

My not-quite-2-year-old daughter saw the "butterfly" cake and immediately shouted out, "Baby poop!" Of course she also insists that a photo of sheep jumping over a log in a certain animal board book is in fact poop. That book is just ruined for her.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

I want to take Admiral Ackbar's "Mini Me" home. IT'S SO FRIGGIN' CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not that I have like an alien obsession or anything

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSophie

My first thought was that thing looks more like the Hoth Wampa than Admiral Ackbar. See for youself.

Irregardless, it's a trap!

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWayne

I see a chocolate's just say that me an' MG are gettin' in the Holiday Spirit ifanyaknowwaddimean. ;)

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSophia Nightengale

Nothing says, "I Love You" like a cthulhu.

February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

thank you SO MUCH for the laughs!!


February 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarcel

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