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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Feb172009

The End of Sweetness

Ok, last Vday post. Honest.

(Until the next one, that is. Heheheh.)

Not that I can be certain these were really meant for Valentine's, of course. I mean, it's not like they give us many clues...


I would ask for guesses, but my heart's just not in it. Besides, even though geography was never my strong point, even I can see it's obviously the state of Texas. Right, Cori W.?

The gril lives!

Good to know, Shauna L.


Wow. It never ceases to amaze me: the amount of time, effort, and talent poured in to these CCCs. Don't you agree, Ann S.?

Well, I have a guess as to what this is supposed to be, Sherin G., but I'm not going to spoil the fun for everyone else. Go on now, guys: what is it?

[humming Jeopardy theme]

And while we're guessing, any ideas on this one from Marisa W.?

"I tell ya, 'E' gets all the love. She's all, 'Look at me, I'm the most commonly used vowel! Ooh, la-ti-da!' Yeah. Insufferable little show-off."

Then Kay found these, which are actually wrong... for being spelled right. There's a first!

See, they have a bee (sort of; that's one scary specimen), so they could have written "Bee Mine". But did they? No, of course not. I bet there's a cake out there somewhere with a sheep on it and the inscription "I love you", too. [shaking head] C'mon, decorators: get with the punny program!

Oh, and in case you forgot what we were celebrating:


Say, this could lead to a whole new holiday icon! I'm picturing Cupid, only stitched together from spare parts. Alyssa & Clark, do you concur?

« For Me? | Main | It's a Form of Flattery. Honest. »

Reader Comments (149)

ok. So I'm the only one whose first thought of Cake #1 was; Kitty's been eating the table decorations again.

'Be Mime'? Step on it again. I don't think it was clear enough.

WV: Smerspo -- smer.spo.tobee.smantics

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

I think #1 would be the perfect cruel breakup cake. It says at the top of its voice, "You are SO not worth the effort!"

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFreedomFirst

I was thinking the one we're supposed to guess actually says "SWAK" (sealed with a kiss) even though it looks like "SWAT". And then maybe it's a CCC of lips?

Maybe?? I'm trying real hard here, but it's a stretch no matter what we call it.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that first, um, heart... put an eye and a beak on it and it could pass for a chicken.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

"To all my grils" must suggest a dyslexic polyamorous relationship?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah K

The first one is obvioulsy a liver. Maybe it's for a holiday for recovering alchoholics "Be kind to your liver day." Or transplant recipients.

But absolutely a liver.

Word verification:tinglyz - those cakes made me feel tinglyz all over.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

haven't you heard of the valentines day chicken that lays the egg the easter bunny is hatched from? c'mon, get with the program people

word verification: rehypear- to come back after eating all the frosting

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercatlady

Perhaps maybe just maybe it ISN'T a wreck...but one specially made up as a joke?

At work I heard people referring to February 13th as "Valen-stine's" Day.....more commonly known as "Mistress Day".

Because apparently there are enough cheating B@strds out there that spend the day BEFORE valentine's day out with their mistresses/wh0res...so they are free to spend actual valentine's day with their wife/girlfriend.

Couldn't find an actual like to confirm the valen-stine because too many people incorrectly spell valentine to get a valid result!

But it is amusing to know that mistress day exists -- but I digress. More likely that its a misspelling - but you learn something everyday!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLou

That bee looks like a masquerading scared sparrow. The rest? Not even gonna try!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

I think the mystery one looks sort of like a sideways "E", so maybe it was supposed to be "sweet E" (sweetie)?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTerri

But, Lou, what would Valen-stines have to do with mistresses. (But then, I misread the thing the first time through and thought it said Valenstein, meaning just another drinking holiday like St. Patrick's Day, only with red instead of green.)

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

Yeah, I'm going for Chicken.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFitch

C'mon, I think you all are missing the greater implications of Valenstine's day.

BEER!!!!!

Wait, no then it would be Valenstein's day.

Still worthy of holiday consideration.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristiy

I'm glad someone else saw "be mime" on the bee cake. I tried to respond earlier, but the keys on my invisible keyboard were sticking.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterlabyrinthine

That cake is OBVIOUSLY Ohio, come on! Because Ohio is for lovers.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Is the second mystery one a romantic steak? Nothing quite puts the passion back into a relationship like a chunk of raw meat with roses on top!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCallisto

I think those CCCs look like kidneys.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDonna

I think the first cake looks like a brown chicken, without legs, and with flowers in its stomach.

But that's just me.
WV - relises The cakewrecker relises Texas looks like a chicken.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBabs

Wow...cakes, so sweet! I love it!

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGlenda

Is that a meatloaf under that Be Mine cake?

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCynna

It's a steak, covered with pompoms. And now "sweet" is spelled "S-W-ee-T", i guess. The first one reminded me of those messed up Texas Longhorns cakes a while back. The ugly brown color... the misshapen curve... it all fits.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I thought maybe it was an ear, with some joke about sweet nothings. Totally missed the broken heart.

February 17, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeckysue

Definitely a liver. A flower-decorated liver. A large, flower-decorated, misshapen, sugary, liver.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

The EASTER CHICKEN! I KNEW there was an Easter chicken.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterveggie

That first one is a thyroid! Poor little thyroid. Has to sneak into another organ's holiday...

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarian

My son says it's South Africa!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSylvia

if the first one is trying to be a heart, you think it's creator could have used a pre prepared heart cake tin and the other one looks like a broken heart, or a heart that was viciously ripped in half which kind of belies the point of the day.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWilwarin

Are you sure the Mutant Bee cake is a professional creation? I mean, it sits in a silicone baking pan! They don't normally sell you cakes with the pan included...

(The first cake, that's definitely a chicken!)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTypo Tat

I'm surprised that no one considered that the Valenstine's Day cake could actually be a birthday cake for Ritchie Valens! (OK, his birthday is May 13, so it would be a really EARLY birthday cake. But still...)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdam G

To all of my "grils"? Did they want a cake celebrating dental embellishments?
~Amy B.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Thankfully I speak wreck. I believe the first cake is supposed to be half of a heart, with the inscription "sweet" only written like this:
s
w
ee
t

Still doesn't explain why...

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaitlyn

The first one is clearly a fox that has been eating roses! Teehee.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWriterGirl17

I believe the mystery cake is a broken heart with the inscription of Sweet down the middle, but who in their right mind makes a BROKEN heart on VALENTINE's Day????

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

that looks WAY more like Ohio than Texas. just sayin.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterspencer

You know, I think the last one would be pretty wrecky even without the Valenstine. Those colours!

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

Oh and the first one? If you tilted it a bit, it MIGHT pass as an 8-bit crescent moon.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAdam

Thought: on the "E" gets all the love cake, maybe the "E" was originally an "L" because the wreckerator was going to write LOVE in the heart but then they realized that there wasn't enough room so they tried to fix it. I only thought of this because the "E" looks like it was added on to. Either way, the flowers and sprinkles are still ugly. And I can't get over the 2 heart CCCs. Horrible, horrible, horrible

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie H.

That first one looks more like Ohio. Ohio in early spring when the snow has melted leaving brown crud everywhere and the flowers are just starting to bloom. But that's me and my 40 years in Ohio.

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbytehead

That's CLEARLY Ohio, not Texas!

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNulono

Looks more like Ohio, to me!

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

So I'm late on this post, but I found it very ironic that JUST as I was reading the part about the Jeopardy song playing, it started playing on tv. I felt the need to share that. :)

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristen

Actually, the top one looks a lot more like Ohio to me. And eek, I recognize the maker of the fifth one just from the price sticker on it (even though the name of the bakery has been carefully taken off).

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mystery cake is definitely lips, with SWAK (sealed with a kiss) down the middle. The top of the lips is facing you.

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Wood

I correct myself. "Sweet" lips.

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Wood

it says 'Sweet' it's just sideways

March 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpaula

I know this is well past 'Valenstine's Day', but I just noticed that the 'Lov-E' cake is actually a brownie platter covered with icing. The store label confirms this. Wow...just wow.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

its a broken half of a heart and it says sweet. they were writing it vertically but they ran out of room and had to put the two "e"s next to eachother

July 21, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Valenstien's Day cookie cake...How..and why? xx

October 13, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakes Lady

The writing on the pink cupcake cake looks sort of like hiragana...

April 20, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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