Search

My Other Blog

What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb182009

Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party

It all started with those kitschy toilet-paper cover dolls:

I think every grandmother was required by law to make enough of these things for her family to cover a mountain of TP. (My personal favorite was our red-dressed flamenco dancer. You?) After this was done, those dear crafty souls had to come up with new ways to use their stockpile of doll torsos.

Enter: the doll cake!

It was understandable when at first children assumed they were being served yarn and TP. Here Jenn L. is saying, "How about you put that over there and go fetch me my real cake, before someone throws a hissy, Ok?"

Fast forward 30 years or so, and doll cakes have come a long way. Why, just look at all the diverse styles they come in now!

The "Hawaiian Shaving Brush":


The "Easy-Chair-Under-Her-Dress":

("My lap! My lap! My lap is on FI-YUR!")

The "I'm-a-Little-Teapot":


The "Girls-Shouldn't-Have-ALL-the-Fun":

And the ever popular "Climb Every Mountain":


Cherie, Andrea M., Sanne, & Cattie P., all together now: "Life in plastic - it's fantastic!"

« THIS is How You Show Hungry Who's Boss | Main | For Me? »

Reader Comments (250)

She isn't sitting in an easy chair, that's the Octomom.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Dutchess of Kickball

Oh, Lord...Oh, Lord!!! Is that a c**k ring around Ken's neck?? I have to go have my eyes removed now.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

LOL LOL LOL!!! That made my morning and saved my children from many birthdays of doll cakes ;)

Im sure theyd thank you if they only knew! ;) ;)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTlou

I'd love to know the stories behind some of these cakes...although I'm not so sure I'm ready for the Ken doll cake story! That one blows my mind!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI'm Losing It!

Oh my...LOL

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterProsey

Oh my god. Oh the childhood memories. I too had a plastic dolly in a giant mountain of frosting, for my 6th birthday in fact. I'll have to dig up the picture sometime.
That guy in a mesh shirt really is something though.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBaking and Mistaking

I remember these from some of the adolecent birthday partied I attended when I was younger.

Even then, they always creeeped me out!

I even remember one instance, when, after the birthday girl blew out the candles, and before the mom could cut the cake - she had to remove the doll - legs & all!

AHHHHH.... creepy - and if I remember correctly, someone actually "got" to lick the icing & crumbs off :-P

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArlynn

I'm amazed I haven't seen a "stripper popping out of the cake" version yet.

The Barbie versions of these cakes sell for $49.99 at my local grocery store. I'm in the wrong line of work.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterD.B. Echo

The Easy chair, lap full of candles is definitely the best. Great post to end the Valentine's marathon -- your cake photos over that heart holiday were so hilarious, I didn't know how you would follow. These were great!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah, The New Girl

Holy crap! The Earring Magic Ken cake is the BEST! I don't care what the party's for, I SO want to be invited!!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

Buh! Wuh?

It's not that hard to do a decent doll cake, I swear! What were these people smoking?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

OMG, that had me ROTFL! If CCC is your nemesis, doll cakes are mine. I don't understand the fascination with placing 1/2 (or all) of a plastic toy down into the cake. It's kind of dirty....but, hey, if that's what they want....

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Meaux

Oh boy. LOL. What's the deal with the Ken doll? What is it supposed to be?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeserlee

These just got better and better as I scrolled down. Thanks for the morning laugh.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Sad! My mom made a Lady Lovely Locks cake for my 7th birthday and she's not a professional decorator and her doll cakes always turned out fabulous. I'll have to look for a picture - these took me back to those good 'doll' days...

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVR

i didn't know that Ken came with a see-through mesh shirt!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterroisin

Wait...is Ken wearing a skirt or...standing at the top of a flowery hill or...has he sunk waist-deep into a pile of flower-poop?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

wow, these brought back memories...but I seriously didn't need that Aqua song in my head now lol...Thanks for a fabulous site, I get a laugh each and every morning!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVelda

Thanks Jen, now I'm going to be humming Barbie Girl all day.
That said, I love the "girls shouldn't have all the fun" cake. It brings back fond memories of the first drag show I went to in college (hey I was in the arts department what do you expect?)
Good times...thankfully we never had one of those toilet paper holders.
*skips off singing, "Make me walk make me talk, do whatever you please I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees...."*
GAAAAH!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Love these, love your blog! I read it every day for a laugh. I'm a pastry cook and get a real kick out of these. Keep 'em coming!

Oh, and, I agree.. the Flamenco dancer IS the best one.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

I've learned from experience. I made sure I finished my sip of coffee and set the cup down before I pulled up this blog. Boy am I glad I did!

My lap! My lap! My lap! is on fire.
no water , no water
let the *bleep* *bleep* burn.

I coudln't help my self :o)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My mouth fell open in shock at the Dolly Pardon cake---what will they think of next? She does not even look like a dolly. But, guys?? Seriously?? A Ken doll? And the ring around his neck on a chain? What does it mean?

Climb every mountain is hilarious! Her heels must be ten inches!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

I've made several of these monstrocities at the urging of my late MIL.

Is Ken's ring to scale?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

omg. I had a doll cake around age 7; it looked like the "normal" one in the first cake photo.

i'm laughing because the Ken cake--did anyone else see this?--he's wearing a c**k ring. (no, that's not "cake ring.")

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEtiquette Bitch

I am so glad no one in my family could make cakes! Well, at least no one that would make my cakes as a kid!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie Penny

I was at first perplexed and then fascinated by the one my grandma made me about 20 years ago. I remember it being very, very sweet.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNico

oh. my. gosh.

that is magic earring ken.

wow. best worst cake i've seen. wow.

-kate

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterk8lynr

Holy cats, someone made a Jocelyn Wildenstien cake! That is what the "little teapot" one is, right? Not meant for children, I hope?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCecile

i TOTALLY had one of these!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervery married

Oh man! I didn't think these lovely things existed anymore! I've even seen Empress Martha S make them.

My fave TP Cozy was the white poodle with the googly eyes that Grandmom did. I still have it and will now give it a week in my retro bathroom in her honor.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

This is 'desk-slapping' good.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommy of M's

I almost bought a cake just to send a picture to Cakewrecks, but I had no other need for it, and frankly I was afraid of it. It was a doll cake, though - and the lid wasn't tall enough for the torso of the doll, so the bakery had cut a hole in the lid. Since the display was sitting almost literally in the doorway of the store - and the cake was definitely for sale - I'm sure that it was nice and sanitary and there were no surprise gnats or other foul things in there. Completely sure of that.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Not only do I have those horrendous (and hilarious) images burned into my brain, but now I have the Barbie Girl song stuck in my head. So thanks for that.
:)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaty

I have to wonder what the decorator used to augment the breasts in the Dolly cake... jello, perhaps?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Am I the only one inspired to make a Drag Queen Ken cake now? Maybe even a "To Wong Fu" wrecktacular...

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDaniFae

The lap on fire doll kind of looks like she's about 15 months pregnant.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjl

OMG thank you! those cakes always creep me out!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie Julie Bo Boolie

OOOOOOhhhh man, Earring Magic Ken. He was totally the stud of my Barbie Collection. Good times.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPeeved

Love it... I have plans for a topless Barbie cake for my husband's birthday! :)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fat Dietitian

I am laughing so hard I can barely breathe. So funny!!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Easy Chair Barbie cracked me up! The girl in the background looks thrilled!! I can just imagine her rolling her eyes thinking "Oh for the love of..."

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCarrie

OMG! It was all I could do to keep myself from ROTFL at work!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNandi

I have a crochet doll over an air freshener sitting on my toilet tank at home. My gramma made her. "She's an Indian baby!", Gramma said. Gramma is not very PC.

Verification: "ourated", as in "Doll cakes that aren't malformed are so ourated."

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterh3llc4t

Those are atrocious! If someone got me one of those I think I would run away screaming. Or pull the doll off and burn it. At least that way it would just look like a round cone cake...

~Colleen (cyberrblue.wordpress.com)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCyberrblue (Colleen)

OMG, I love the one with "Earring Magic Ken" otherwise known as the first openly gay Ken doll. When that Ken came out one of my anthropology professors was so excited she bought one and brought it to class :)

Chihuahua: yes, it is a c**k ring. Earring Majic Ken came with: an earring (plus a pair for his lucky owner), a purple mesh shirt, black pants, loafers, and the lovely silver necklace. Oddly, he wasn't on the market very long. i think he is considered to be collectors item now.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpeachfish

Thank the gods I didn't even KNOW these cakes existed until I was an adult!

If I had one of those as a child, I would have needed to be medicated!!!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAelwyn

I totally had a doll cake when i was a kid! I was so happy in the pictures!! The doll had a beautiful dress made of fluffy pink frosting.. I loved it (well I can't actually remember the cake, but it appears from the pictures that I loved it...)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

wowie...

The Leaning Tower of Pinkness aka. Octo Mom is very randomly bizarre.

The dolly in blue is a little...um...grown up...in a dirty sort of way.

WV: tabilliz - possibly the name of the dolly in blue.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPassion Fruit

I personally like the pasties on the hula dancer! :)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

Oh, my god... I am rolling... I was laughing to begin with, but then my four year old came over to see and asked very perplexed about the easy chair doll, "Mama, wha's wong wif her? She's meltING!"

LMAO!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterK

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>