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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb182009

Come On Barbie, Let's Go Party

It all started with those kitschy toilet-paper cover dolls:

I think every grandmother was required by law to make enough of these things for her family to cover a mountain of TP. (My personal favorite was our red-dressed flamenco dancer. You?) After this was done, those dear crafty souls had to come up with new ways to use their stockpile of doll torsos.

Enter: the doll cake!

It was understandable when at first children assumed they were being served yarn and TP. Here Jenn L. is saying, "How about you put that over there and go fetch me my real cake, before someone throws a hissy, Ok?"

Fast forward 30 years or so, and doll cakes have come a long way. Why, just look at all the diverse styles they come in now!

The "Hawaiian Shaving Brush":


The "Easy-Chair-Under-Her-Dress":

("My lap! My lap! My lap is on FI-YUR!")

The "I'm-a-Little-Teapot":


The "Girls-Shouldn't-Have-ALL-the-Fun":

And the ever popular "Climb Every Mountain":


Cherie, Andrea M., Sanne, & Cattie P., all together now: "Life in plastic - it's fantastic!"

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Reader Comments (250)

I always knew Ken harboured secret yearnings to frock-up

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjessamine

My mom made a witch doll cake for a Halloween carnival one year. It looked better than these wrecks, though.

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermoonfall86

Holy crap! "Girls-Shouldn't-Have-ALL-the-Fun" LMAO

I hated those TP things when I was a kid, and would have thrown my cake at my mom if she served me one of those;)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Attitude

Hahahahahahahaa love the Ken cake!!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKayƩ

Hello friend :)

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterQuackYou

Please oh please I just need some cake to Eat. Now. Or is that in bad taste?

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl Next Door

That Ken one is awesome!

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLindaBudz

Oh. Wow. That Ken doll is not a modified Ken doll. Mattel actually sold him that way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Earring_Magic_Ken

February 18, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEeek!!!!

I've ordered my first special order "professional" cake and am getting it tomorrow. I'm nervous, but also kind of excited, because I know if it's a wreck, I'll get to post it here and that'll be a pretty good consolation prize!

Tina W.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTina Woolston
February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbefu

Mummy made me a doll cake when I was about 5 and I loved it. Until she cut it open and I realised she'd pulled the legs off my favourite Barbie. (Nearly 20 years ago, I'm over it of course... *sob*)

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTia

I had a doll cake for a birthday when I was a kid and it was my favourite EVER birthday cake!!

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterincurable hippie

I am taking a cake class the "doll cake" is what I have to make. *hanging head in shame*

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Of course, my 3.5 year old was looking at my screen, and now I've PROMISED her one of those cakes for her next birthday. Not what you intended, huh? LOL Well, I guess I now need to find someone willing to make one for her to look like a princess. I think you are allowed to love Kitch at 4. ;)

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

These comments always make me chuckle--and it is so good to see folks helping each other with how to make the cake skirt. But, the story of the candles being blown out and the Barbie hair catching on fire---yikes. I only had sons...but, they would have loved that extra! wow These cakes and directions need to come with warnings.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

*giggles madly!* I love love love the Ken cake. I so want to make one like that. (of course not with the origional Ken they used! Though I actually think I have that somewhere.....my sister gave over all her barbies when I got pregnant... I had boys, lol!)

I'm happy to say I never asked for or got a Barbie cake. I'd so have tossed that puppy!

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEkio Locatiare

i had that was ken doll. he was the one that was supposedly the gay ken, with the pierced right ear and his purple fishnet shirt. came with a sweet boombox too.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCupcakeKitten

My girlfriend had one of these cakes years ago. I was initially very jealous. All I remember about it is that she ended up looking a lot like Michael Jackson on the set of the infamous 1984 Pepsi commercial where his hair went up in flames.

It's hard to enjoy cake when there is a toxic haze and the odor of liquified plastic polymers hanging over the dining room table.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

Come, now, the hawaiian one wasn't so bad. I was more surprised not by the skirt but the huge red nipples she was sporting.

Um, should I mention I will be making one of these lovely doll cakes for my beloved soon-to-be-4 yr olds birthday next week? She asked for it, and since I'm a slave to birthday whims, I will happily fulfill her wishes.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAll My Monkeys

Wow. Just...wow.

Oh, and the 80's called Ken, they want their mesh shirt back.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterI Love Baby Quilts!

I just saw on Facebook a friend of mine that made a doll cake for her daughters birthday. It was very recent and it looked just like the first picture only it was blue. Very funny! My first thought when i saw it was 'Cake Wreck' and then i saw this. Perfect. . .

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulianna

I remember a friend of mine had a Barbie cake at her 8th birthday party, and I was so jealous!

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterebidebby

I had a Barbie themed party when I was about 5 or 6. Had one of these doll cakes, then proceeded to play with the Barbie for years after. Mine looked so much better than these, however. Well balanced skirt, in pink if I remember correctly.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

LOL! I've made two doll cakes for my daughters so far (I have 3 girls, two of which are old enough to be princess fanatics). I'm not a professional and I like to think both of mine came out way better than these lol

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCami

oh man, now I have to go find that song on youtube and make sure it's G-rated...

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

btw - hubby's long-time friend made one of these for her daughter a couple years ago and she pulled the legs off before putting the doll in. That's much wierder than pulling out the doll legs and all...

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarin

The inappropriate candles bring exactly one word to mind:

Firecrotch!

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterfabfemmeboy

My favorite part of the Ez-chair cake (aside from the fact that she's pregers and has tried to light the fetus on fire) is the bored looking chin in the background. Someone is not impressed.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, that is so funny- my grandmother actually did have the red Spanish dancer one in her bathroom. Even as a tiny kid I thought that thing was hideous.

February 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterL. Shepherd

Oh my...these are hysterical! I am going to be repeating the 'my lap is on fi-yur' part for days, I just know it!

What horrifying to me is those are professional cakes! I made a Cinderella Barbie cake for my daughter's 5th birthday - bought the Cinderella doll and wrapped her in plastic wrap before assembly. It turned out great! And it honestly was not that hard! Goodness!

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

This was hilarious! I loved the easy-chair one!!

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCalico

I wish that the title of this post was "Come on Barbie, Let's Go Potty".

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCassy

It looks to me like firelap Barbie is/was doing the limbo. Maybe the pole was lit and this is the result of an unfortunate (read: hilarious) incident.

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJustMe

This entry prompted me to share my own Barbie cake wreck story at http://4thfrog.blogspot.com!

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Suddenly I have the urge to bake my best friend a Kaylee's Party Dress from the "Shindig" episode of Firefly for her birthday!

WHAT HAVE I BECOME?????????

February 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerky Skeptic

My surprise 9th birthday party, replete with doll-cake, just came SCREAMING back to me.
Thanks!!

February 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterScience

Seeing those cakes reminded me of how I came to have a favorite grandma and a not-so-favorite one (both loving and caring, in their own way). It all started 6 months before my 4th bday with my boy cousin's AWESOME train cake. I knew that was what I wanted! But the grandma who made that cake was insistent that girls didn't want train cakes; they wanted doll cakes. And so, that's what I got for my party with dad's side of the fam. Mom's mom made me the best train cake EVER when she heard how disappointed I was when I got the doll cake.

February 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh, please don't tell me that last one was for a wedding...please no (cause the only thing worse that having a cake of YOURSELF in bridal gear is substituting barbie...or whatever that is).

Though I will say I really liked the barbie-cake I got as a little girl.

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGale

too lazy to read all of the comments, so sorry if someone else said this.

my mom used to crochet dolls like that, but she took a 1/2 gallon milk container cut in half (so the bottom part) and made it into a purse but you could tuck the doll into the purse.

yeah, I know. It's hard to even conceive of.

February 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLorraine Woodward

Those cakes with the real dolls in them crack me up. When I was little my mom attempted the same thing but the cake wasn't completely cool before she put the doll it. The Barbie legs melted inside!

February 23, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMichele

I swear we were just singing the Barbie song tonight.....it rears its ugly head every know and then!

February 24, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, gotta admit: I love the Big Gay Ken In Drag cake!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheWantonSeedStitch

I had a barbie cake when I was little! At the time I thought it rocked. (hey, it was late 70's/early 80's!) The only disappointment was the doll is only half a doll, I wanted a full one to play with!

It looked like this -
http://cgi.ebay.com/New-Barbie-Doll-Body-for-Barbie-Cake_W0QQitemZ320262697867QQcmdZViewItem

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

Re those toilet paper dolls... my mom used to make them for every bridal shower. One for the bride complete with a veil and flowers, and then of course one for each bridesmaid in the color of bridesmaids dresses. We still have one that my cousin gave us when my mom made hers. We thought it was pretty kitschy then, but now that mom's been gone 16 years we love it!

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKarenH

LMBO this was an eye opener Fred Smilek is the acting president of the Society to Save Endangered Species. It was founded two years ago by Fred Smilek along with his two best friends Charles and Jonathan. http://www.fredjsmilek.com

February 26, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I remember asking for a Barbie cake on at least one occasion when I was younger. I think my sister did, too, and we thought they were awesome. My mom's cakes all looked a thousand times better than these, though. To be perfectly honest, if I had a daughter I would totally make her a Barbie cake.

February 27, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

My mom made one for me for a birthday growing up.

I loved it... and I still love that one, lol. She was well made and proportionate. My mom's made some great cakes for my siblings and I growing up(Thank you Wilton!)


But then, she's not a professional.

And these doll cakes are just scary.

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterXanthina

I think the guy looks like Jay Manuel from America's Next Top Model. Seriously!

February 28, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterteech

oh my goodness! i had a doll cake for like, my 4th birthday party or something like that.. my mom made it. dear me.. scary things..

March 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKat K

I HAD a half doll cake for one my my bdays. I was so excited about it, too. Hee hee.

And I owned that Ken doll.

March 5, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMadame Rubies

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