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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Mar192009

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Haa!

Ho ho, heehee, haha, they're coming to take me away!!!

I'm not sure what these things are supposed to be, but they've been popping up at bakeries all across the U.S. lately. Could the carrot jockeys have some competition on their hands?

"Soon, your race of sugar-craving giant sloths shall be OURS. Thaaat's right, we're cute, aren't we? You want to take us hooome, and show us all your financial staaaatements."

These guys are going less for "cute" and more for "mortal terror":

"The claaaaaw! The claw will choose who will go, who will stay, and who will have his or her face rearranged."

Look, they even have a naval division:

"We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
We're Popped-Eyes, the sailor blobs,
You won't want to finish,
'Cuz we taste like spinach,
We're Popped-Eyes the sailor blobs!"

Nancy H., Bridget D., Siiri L. & Heather K., I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats. Really.

(Now we get to find out which of you were around in the 60s. Let the age-determining comments begin!)

UPDATE: The general consensus seems to be these are "frog cakes". More info here.

UPDATE UPDATE: No, they're not supposed to be Bob from Monsters vs Aliens. What, you think I would miss a kids' movie tie-in? Give me a little credit, eh?

« First Impressions | Main | Carrot Jockeys Make Excellent Ground Troops »

Reader Comments (268)

The third from above are an odd combination of Kermit the frog and the failed Ripley/ alien clones from Alien: Resurrection (which incidentally was also a failed clone of the earlier movies).

I can hear them pleading: "Please... kill us..."

They look like those Zoloft blobs from the commercials. Maybe they are full of antidepressants?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

I wonder if it is a bad interpretation of the veggie tales characters...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJessi

I wasn't around in the 60's, but is is still good that I got the reference? Those blobs look utterly bloberiffic.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdigital sage

Maybe they're supposed to be one of the characters from the new Monsters vs. Aliens movie? They're still wrecks, though! Ew!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDillypoo

Egad. Does anyone know what those are even supposed to BE?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRamblingDreamer

Maybe I'm sick, but something about the first set reminds me of male genitals.

Whatever these are, I'm terrified.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTheresa

I don't know what you're talking about. I love those things to death. They're the highlight of my trips to the bakery! :D

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterelsolylaluna

I have eaten one of these a long time ago. Back in the day they looked like what they are (a cupcake with icing covered in chocolate) Im not sure why bakeries have gone for the ewwwww factor-especially with the green sloth like ones (the 2nd pic?).
I imagine that there will be a battle of carrot jockeys and wormlike cupcakes-I can see them battling it out and those baby jockey end up riding the wormlike creatures-appetizing!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

Remember when you baked that cake
and I got on my knees and begged
you not to bake because I'd go berserk?
WELL!
You baked it anyhow and then
the Wrecks got worse and worse
and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.

Ahem...I wasn't around in the 60's. Actually I'm an 80's child. But my momma raised me well and I've got the song on my mp3 player nevertheless.
And I'm not gonna tell you what these cakes remind me of because I know you like to keep things as G rated as possible.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

I heard this song when I was 4 and it creeped the crap out of me. I never want to hear it again.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWater

I think they're supposed to be the green blobby monsters from that movie Monsters vs. Aliens, which I can't wait to see, by the way!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci Harris

OMG! I walked by these in my grocery store on st patricks day and thought to myself, omg, I need to send this to cake wrecks ASAP! They look like sex toys! Bluck! lol

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Um, couldn't help but notice the 2nd pic was a little phallic looking.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAce

The last one had me rolling in my cube. Hopefully people will stop staring and get back to work!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKameron

I loved the "...popped-eyes..." one and song! This is the best blog! Who needs Prozac with a daily dose of Cake Wrecks! Thank you and keep up the good work!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVR

What the heck is inside those things? Is it all cake? All icing? Makes me think of bumpy cake. We need to dissect them to find out.

Yep, I remember that song.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSleepwalker

I wasn't around in the sixties, but my parents used to terrify me with that song when I was a child. I still can't listen to it without shuddering.

And our grocery store just brought in a large phalanx of these strangely adorable blob-creatures. I had no idea it was such a widespread phenomenon!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Wow, that's a LOT of frosting on the multi-colored dolphin-looking ones! o_o

They all look a little...odd. Cute, but odd.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Scarf Girl

WTH are these things?!? That's really weird. Must be some kind of children's show thing.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Dang, now I have both those songs repeating in my head, and now with these pictures, they have video, too!
WV: Culne : I think some of these creatures need to be culned.

Tracy O

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

They look like the blob in the new movie coming out soon "Hero vs Alien"

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDawn

They look like those blobs from the dessert video you posted a while back. Like they are just emerging from the food.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicky

Are they supposed to be one of the monsters from the new Monster movie?...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJara

According to my six year old they are frogs. Except for the ones in sailor caps. Those are piccolos.

I have no idea what that means, which is sort of in keeping with the theme, no?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEmilia

Multi-colored Schmoo!!! I loved Schmoo. He was so brilliant, even though he couldn't talk, he solved mysteries.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTracy W.

Ha! I was born in early '70 but still know the song (thanks Dr. Demento!...which I guess also ages me...)

The blobs? My guess is nematodes.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It's just a matter of time before these thingies are "artfully" arranged into "cakes" ala CCC. Some possibilities: The Grand Tetons, Stalactites and Stalagmites, doggy droppings, Abe Vigoda, et al.

My question - is there cake under there or are these frosted cookies?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLala

Has anyone bought one that can share what is inside them? It's not just a pile of frosting is it?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara

I think they're frogs?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLes@SpillingBuckets

The mushed ones look like Kermit! The 2nd ones are pretty cute i dont think i would be able to eat oone if he was looking at me like that!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

When I was in high school, my best friend's mother used to sing this song a lot. Her singing was especially enthusiastic whenever her daughter did something rebellious or just plain senseless.


Ahhh... memories....

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline

I think these are from the monsters vs alien movie.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time!

Also... I am intrigued by the multitude of blob like structures

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCorinne

i think cw1 is supposed to be "bob" from some new disney/pixar movie. yech.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermare

That first set looks like the Seth Rogan-voiced "Bob" from Monsters vs. Aliens. Seems appropriate given the timing...

After that it's Hopeful Worms, Melted Kermits, and Sailor Jabba The Hutts, I believe.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterchris

Hey just thought I would let you know you got a "SHOUT-OUT" from Kat Dennings on her twitter. Pretty cool!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelissaBee

I'm kind of wondering if they are that blob character from the new movie coming out monster vs. aliens. That's what they sort of look like to me.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJulie

Have you ever seen Flushed Away? These remind me of the sewer slugs from that movie...yuck

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commentermaryjack

Eeeeeeewww! The 3rd picture looks like the character from the mucus commercials on TV. Gaaaagh!!!!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

They remind me of the cartoon "nerds" on the Wonka Nerds candy. Here's a pic: http://www.knitwareblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/nerds.jpg

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

they could pass as cousins of the frog cakes we have in Adelaide, Australia

http://www.flickr.com/photos/natmeister/2848258818/in/photostream/

they are a historical item over here... i dont really like the taste of them but they are very popular.

Arora Pearl

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Huh. Well my 8 and 6 year olds decided that the first ones were frozen frogs, the second set was a tossup between fish and worms, the third were, as labeled by my 8 year old son, blobs of mucus, and the last and possibly my favorite, submitted by my 6 year old daughter, were kooks. I think I'm going to go with that.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi

Your "popped eyes" song ROCKS--brilliant!!

Beth (I blog http://oneminutewriter.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">here and http://cbethblog.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">here.)

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterC. Beth

I think they are characters from this movie
http://www.monstersvsaliens.com/

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you
in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

Yea! I remember that song! I only heard it once or twice on the radio and then nothing... Much later I heard it was banned because people *might* be offended. I was elated when my daughter gave me a tape with "unusual" songs from the 60's that this one was on it!

BTW, there are days when I long to see those nice young men in clean white coats!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterarlene

I was not around in the 60's, but I do know the song thanks to Dr. Demento!

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTornadoBaby

I think I've seen these in an anonymous form, usually a doughnut piled with whipped cream and dunked in chocolate coating.

They look sort of like McDonald's Grimace.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTychaBrahe

My five year old walked by when I was looking at the second picture and said, "look at the delicious fish cupcakes". I asked about the third picture, and he said it looked like dead frogs. The last one he had to think about, but he concluded it was the blob from the Monsters vs Aliens movie.

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

My mom used to play that song for us on a record player. Kinda creepy but she loved it. I have no idea what they are!! Crazy blobs with eyes, maybe?

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

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