First Impressions

My issues with baby shower cakes are well-documented. And while I don't plan to have kids myself, I know that the whole if/when/how many thing on the kid-front is a huge, life-changing decision.

So on behalf of myself and childless women everywhere, I'd just like to say the following.

Attention Baby Shower Cake Creators:
You're SO Not Helping.

Seriously, would YOU want to give birth after seeing this cake?


Helen S., I can't tell if that's mom's front or backside, but either way I think I'd be shoving the sucker back in.

Not that showing the (anatomically) correct egress is any better, though:


Egads! I've heard of childbirth making your legs feel all rubbery, Greg C., but this is just ridiculous. Plus, I thought that the First Censored Cake Wreck would dissuade this kind of thing. Well hellooo, backfire!

I mean it, ladies: stop with the fondant genitalia on shower cakes already! Yeesh, it's bad enough seeing it in all of your "Check Out this Hi-LAR-ious Wreck from Master Bakers!" e-mails. [shudder] Nightmares, folks: I have them*.

Now, if you really want to give me a little pick-me-up (IF ya know whadda mean) why not send over some Trekkie goodness of the Vulcan variety? Or heck, I'll even take McCoy - or Sheppard or McKay, while we're on the geek streak. Just make sure they're tastefully done. So, you know, in lots of chocolate. [eyebrow waggle]

*Speaking of which, if you're not subscribed to my Twitter feed you missed out on some ripe hilarity of the "Jen's-too-naive-to-know-what-this-naughty-word-means" yesterday. Check it out, if you dare....

UPDATE: Hey, commenters! If you're referencing my Twitter debacle, please don't use the "naughty" word, ok? A lot of kids read this site, and we don't need them Googling it. Thanks!