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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Nov052008

Oh, Mama!

Who's ready for some life-sized, potentially-nightmare-inducing, definitely traumatizing, yet fortuitously-censored CAKE? Hmm?

Settle down, now, all of you; there's enough here for everyone:

(Heh, you guys thought the FIRST censored Cake Wreck was bad...)

What's that? What do you mean, you all only want a piece of the little birthday cake? You can't ALL have that: who's going to eat the legs? The belly? The.. er...tracts of land? C'mon, you'll love it: mama's made of red velvet!*

:)

Here's an even "better" angle:


John would like me to point out that this cake has teeth. And there are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.

Here's some good news, though: this wasn't for a baby shower! Yay! Nope, it was served at a birthing center event. As to why the "mom" has a cake in the tub with her, though - and in that particular spot - well, you got me. I'm just glad they didn't make it into an edible baby.
Also, I've heard of cakes sweating before, but this brings it to a while 'nother level. A really shiny, gross level.

I actually had this submitted twice, by both Gina & Jeanette E. Hey girls, I'm dying to know: did "mama" have any hair? I can't quite tell from the photos. (I mean on her HEAD, you sick people, you.)

* Ok, you got me: I don't actually know what kind of cake this was.

UPDATE: I too thought that they just left the "s" off "surprise" at first, but then it would have been "urprise", not "uprise". Unless they spelled it wrong, and THEN left the "s" off - hah, double wreck! Or, I suppose it could be the name of the center.

« It's Almost Like He's Part of the Family | Main | And Remember: »

Reader Comments (292)

That's extremely yucky.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAll Adither

Ew. I would not want to eat any part of that cake. Especially that water. *shudder*

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

Okay I was in a 'snack frame of mind' about two minutes ago....now I am all better! Hmmm...the cakewrecks diet?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCottagecheap

The only safe piece to eat is the mini cake, although is that cardboard underneath? And was that towel a real one or made out of frosting or fondue or something?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That is wrong -on so many levels ewwwww. Tammy

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermilk and cookeez

That is just wrong on so many levels. Where has the rest of her head gone? Creepy.

~Laura

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Is it just me, or does "mama" have the jaw line of a man? Either way, I would like to express my most heartfelt *shudder*...

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterPetter M

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMetalNoir

I want desperately to say awful things about this cake because it is so deserving, but in truth... it made me bust out laughing. What a work of art! Too bad you didn't post it for Halloween since it looks like a fairly severly decayed pregnant mummy giving birth - OR - how about a Halloween/Thanksgiving combo cake: mummy giving birth in a turkey roasting pan? Classy.

Your site is hilarious and a superb start to my day. Thanks Jen.

Alixandra Hice
http://casahice.blogspot.com

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Oh my is that gross!! I think I would be really freaked out to walk in somewhere and see that sitting there.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHippie Mama Kelly

PS: Nice vericose veins!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

Run Frances Run!!(Don't ask what that means, because I have no clue, it's just the first thing that came to mind when I saw this!)

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCC

was it UPRISE or SUPRISE?

Um... I wouldn't eat it, thats for sure

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentersharkiepatronus

I'm going to have nightmares from this post! However, had the hospital allowed me to have cake while I was in labor I might have enjoyed the whole experience more!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

I'll take the belly button!

EW!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterReal Live Lesbian

Wha? Yet another cake viewing that has rendered me speechless. But that's what I come here for! Thanks!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterHi Kooky

It also looks enormous (see the chairs and the people in the background?). Apart from that, I think this shows a great sense of humour on the part of the birthing centre people.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentergergir

UPRISE???? Say what?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterOhMyAntlers

This is....gag inducing at best. She looks sweaty and miserable and...hmm. Is that wash cloth draped over her eyes edible? *gnaw gnaw gnaw*
This reminds me less of a birthing cake and more of a torture cake. Then again the two seem to be fairly synonymous.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

i have no words....

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterstamazoid

Eww? Not only teeth, it has half a skull! It looks like she was half decapitated by helicopter blades (day of the dead anyone?)

And...Urprise?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterDiana

OMGWTFBBQ?! And I thought the Oliva cake was bad (okay, I still do... and in thinking about it, I think she's still worse)! Still, I do want to know what "Uprise" is. Maybe that's something I'm better off not knowing? And maybe they're really a cake birthing center?!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

But what's with "UPRISE"? Is the sex a surprise? Is the cake a surprise (I bet it was)! I've given birth in a bathtub, and I can say with 100% certainty that I wouldn't eat anything out of that sucker!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Too bad we can't get an action shot on one of these with everyone standing around with forks in their hands and crumbs on their faces and pieces missing from the victim, I mean cake.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrrr

I'm a big fan of the 'water' on the cake plate, along with the broken up "Happy Birth" on top, and "Day" on the side of the cake. Someone never learned how to make small letters. And is that stuble under the left knee? Or is it just mooshed up cake? Yummmmy.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRooManda

"Uprise"?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpepperjackcandy

And then they called in the future pathologists to do a dissection?

Yuck.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterjoyce

I've laughed at your blog for a while, but I'm coming out of lurking for this. This cake is the first one that I think has the potential to haunt me so much that I'll never want to eat cake again. But, I'm really coming out of the "lurk zone" because I'm hoping somebody has an explanation for the "uprise" sign on the side of the tub. What is that about?....or do I want to know?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermarlise116

Can someone explain the "uprise" sign on the front? I guess I am just slow but I dont get it. Oh and Ewwwwww.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKate

Am I the only one who thought of the painting of Marat murdered in his bathtub?

http://www.brynmawr.edu/hart/Syllabi/levine/HART%20107%202006/1794%20David%20Marat.jpg

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

OMGosh! It's a corpse cake! The skin, the *teeth*, eek! It's disturbing in so many ways...

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterphotoJENic

Must be one of those birthing centers that uses the hot tubs. Still not a great cake concept. Maybe if they'd made it more cartoony...

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMary

I'm glad to know the, erm, stylistic choice was dictated by the fact that it was a birthing center. And the teeth ARE rather creepy. Also is the shiny buttercreamery frosting that both makes the poor gal look both wet and sweaty.

word verification: colacide

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterwrittenwyrdd

I see no hair. And it kind of looks like a man.
Too much excitement for one day, I'm going back to bed.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterValarie

I can't wait to dive into some delicious soap scum. Yum!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMagsP

That is horribly disturbing.....

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKIM :-)

Holy Cannoli! What were they drinking when they thought this was a good idea? Horrifying!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Cutting into that and seeing red velvet "innerds" would be too too much!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSusan -

YOWZA That's quite a cake.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

This has got to be the most terrifying cake ever! Why would someone think this was a good idea?!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCB

Umm, ewww.

It looks like mama had the top of her head removed.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

My main concern... what the heck does "Uprise" mean? And I love how the top of the cake says "happy birth" and the side says "day..."

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

K, seriously?! Ew. It looks more like a pot-bellied man than a woman! The face and neck are totally masculine! Is she IN labour?!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJewelz

I know I will be having nightmares for days that will be featuring this wrecktastic, teeth-including cake. YIKES!!! Oh, thanks for including the second picture so that we may fully understand the scale of the cake.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That is truly horrific, I'm afraid to see what might top it.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBecky B

HAIR?!!!! Oh-you mean on her head! WHEW!

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

EWWWW!! I've never left a comment before, but EWWWWWW! That is the ickiest thing I've ever seen. Teeth cake...appetizing.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Is it me or does "mama" have a really strong chin and look like a man?

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

Interesting is the only word I can come up with.... I don't think I could eat this cake.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLancastermom

It's obviously a cake for the Pregnant Secessionists Club, hence the "Uprise" sign.

November 5, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

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