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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Mar122010

Et Tu, O-Town?

I feel I should prepare you in some way for today's Wreck.

Hm. Let's see...

Oh! I know. How about this:

Think of a place. A happy place.

A place where chocolate-dipped demon mummies can never, ever reach you - much less wrap you in their fudgy arms and squeeze the life-breath out of you.

Are you imagining that happy place? Are you there?

Ok, good.

You may now proceed.

AAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!

THINK OF THE HAPPY PLACE!
THINK OF THE HAPPY PLACE!!!



Ahem.

Yes, it IS cake.

Forty six pounds of cake, to be precise, and fifty five pounds of chocolate ganache. It's a testament to the baker's skill that I could never get within arm's reach of this thing, for fear of it suddenly coming to life like in Night at the Museum.

Still, you've got to appreciate the humor of where they chose to start cutting:

"Hey, girl, you have one sweet piece of...[noticing onlookers]...uh...shoulder blade."


Thanks to Wreckporter Jessica Y., who featured it
here in her article for Orlando Weekly, and also to Paul J., the baker/sculptor, who's been an awfully good sport about all this.

In fact, you can check out progress shots of Paul sculpting the demon mummy (warning: a live model was used, & she's nekkid!) at his FB album here.

« Sunday Sweets: That Takes The Cake Part 1 | Main | My, SOMEBODY's Been Busy... »

Reader Comments (186)

Aww, Bog Man finally found love!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterT.A.Y.L.O.R.

The first cake I think will give me nightmares!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermandy bear bakes

Love the knife in the back photo on the FB page. Yeah, that about sums it up.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTammi

AAAAAARGH!!! That will haunt my dreams tonight...

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterellemck1

Yep. No happy place is going to quell the nightmares I am sure to have.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie T.

That is so disturbing I fear that the image may never leave my head!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLauren Borquez

I think that's where they started cutting, too, in that story/ movie about a plane crash, Alive...

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why? Whhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? Why?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJelliDonut

Zoinks! That is one hideous cake... but fascinating at the same time.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenter*G*R*U*N*T*I*L*D*A*

“Y’know,” said the artist to himself, “the only way I could possibly make this poo-brown concoction of mine any more freakish is if I were to imply by the model’s pose…that she’s constipated. Yep, that’ll do ‘er!”

^..^

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTigerwolf

oh.my.gracious. That is one disturbing cake!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJR*Sikorski

If you hadn't shown the proof that it was cake, I was getting ready to accuse you of having manipulated some photography of the ruins of Pompeii. Wow. What a thing. So far, you seemed to have left most of your followers speechless with that one! Kathleen

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Um, wow? There's something wrong about this, but I just don't have the words for it.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHilary

OMG-she/he/it looks like it is squatting to well...poop.
Bev

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mom

Definitely well-made.
I just don't know why it was made.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterGary

I'm having trouble imagining what sort of event calls for a cake like this. Is there a Pompeii Appreciation Society of Cannibals?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAbby Normal

AaaaaHH!!! Weren't those things on a video game, like Silent Hill or Zelda? I'm sure I've seen something like that in a game my husband's played...then proceeded to have nightmares. {shudder}

By the way, you still have till Sunday to enter to win a free Box of Awesome. It's like Woot's Bag of Crap, but everything inside will be awesome. :)

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeidi D

Wow just Wow.

Rashelle

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I like that he let the model have first crack at herself :)

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterErica

doesn't this remind anyone of what happend when mt. vesuvius errupted?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBer~*

I have no words. I keep trying to think of something witty or sarcastic but I just can't think because I just cannot stop staring!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJack's Mommy

It's just amazing that they got it to balance. The chocolate may not be the prettiest color, but the form of it is phenomenal!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Mmmm....gluteus maximus.

Just another line item in the laundry list of why cakes shouldn't be made in human form! At least it wasn't red velvet cake..

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAshley B.

Wow...
There are TRULY no words....

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Collins Family

That is seriously disturbing!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBreanna K.

It looks like a monster from the popular video game series, "the legend of zelda". This specific one is called a "ReDead":

http://www.zeldadungeon.net/Zelda05/Walkthrough/03/ReDead2.png

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Why did they start with eating the -erm- bottom- of the cake?
That thing did not look appetizing at all.

~Brandy M.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrandy

OH NO! THAT'S GROSS!!!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow. All I can say is Wow. That is uber creepy.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHeide

How is that cake supported? It sure looks like it should topple over at any second.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJasini

::rocking:: I'm ok.....I'm ok.....the horrible cake lady will not come out from under the bed and eat me in revenge....::sob::

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternihil

I just can't get over this creepy Donner Party feeling.... *shiver*

As much as love to eat cake, I think I might pass if I were at that event. :(

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTiffany

My kids say, "Wow. That's CREEPY!"

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmnesty

I.. uhm... Well. Hrmmm....

Never expected to see a bondage cake here.

Isn't that the same position one gets into when camping/hiking and answering nature's call?

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

at first glance I thought it was a bloody body from Hellraiser :P

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

And here my first thought was Degas' bronze ballerinas..you live in a curious world, friend.
B.Marshall

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Creepy yes, but amazing what some people can sculpt out of cake!

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Smart Cookie Bakery

apparently this cake was made live at the event....the attendees seemed to be real impressed by the cake & the artist....

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think I am going to have a nightmare....

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Oh my. It reminds me of Bog Man in the British Museum. I think the photos of the cake cut open are more disturbing in a way. If I show this to my 14-year-old son, he's going to want something like it for his birthday, I just know it.

Again, I'll say it: I can't believe the unending and increasingly bizarre array of cakes you find for this site.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSiriusSchwartz

"Solent-Brown-is-PEOPLE"

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

For once I disagree. I see an AMAZING work of art.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

There is no place happy enough to allow me to block that from my brain.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Thank you for setting up the happy place ahead of time, because I ran screaming into it after seeing that. Reminds me of the scene in James Bond when Strawberry Fields was covered in oil. I shudder.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterToday's Random

It reminds me of the Pompeii victims. o_O

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterArkady

It's an impressive technical achievement, no doubt about it -- but that doesn't stop it from being just a tad creepy.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDameruth

I don't know, I think it's a lovely sculpture. But the fact that it's made out of cake is a bit unsettling.

Is the artist making some commentary about how humans are just eaten away at piece by piece until there's nothing but a smear of icing left on the cake board of life? And instead of leaving a legacy, as with stone statues of old, our generation of humanity is to leave behind nothing but a mess to clean up after and a sugary stomach-ache for those that follow? Suddenly I'm very sad...

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKathryn

I might have been tempted to have started by cutting off the head. Isn't that how you "kill" a demon?

wv: emophote. One who is afraid of photos like the wreck featured here.

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

omg. It reminds me of the mummy-zombies from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. O_o I remember being terrified of those when I was a kid watching my little brother play. The little scream as you get frozen in spot, watching helplessly as it saunters towards you, then climbs on your back and begins draining your life... D: Yeah, it still scares me 15 years later!

*happy place, happy place, sun song, sun song, petrify the mummy-zombies with the ocarina...*

March 12, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSystem of Aurora

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